Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Rolex 24 Postscript - Thee ‘B-I-G UNIT gets his watch...

Justin Wilson - Anne Proffit-photo
So how ‘bout Dat No Fenders Feel Good Mojo, Eh! As apparently I picked the wrong weekend to not place some hard earned Dinero on the No. 60 Michael Shank Racing Riley-Ford DP in Los Wages, as shockingly, not only did I predict the Overall winner but also the runner-up! (Although my GT pick’s weren’t even close...)

On Friday afternoon I made the mistake of taking the bus to beautiful Tacoma - during REAL rush hour traffic Danny! Hence missing my Downtown Seattle connection; Yada-yada-yada... As I was off to attempt watching another car race with the esteemed ‘Aunty Harriet; OH-H-H-H??? You mean we get to watch a car race? Where’s it at? Oh goody, the Daytona 500; when does it start? And thus the countdown began to the 11:30AM Preamble; Err Pre-race show; ‘Dat’s Pacific/Seattle/West Coast time for Yuhs ‘CARPETS; Hya!

Now the funny part of this is, ‘Whale Yuhs see, your humble No Fenders scribe cannot see worth SHIT and ‘Aunty Harriet doesn’t hear real good which means following the 24hrs of Daytona instead of the DayToner 500 became most comical; who’s that ‘Juan? Who’s that car? What’s a Daytona Prototype, who’s that car, where’s the race at? Oh you mean the Daytona 500??? Who’s that car?

Yet I hadda agree with ‘Aunty H after sitting down Justin-time, get IT? For an overly LONG Preamble, as Harriet kept asking when’s the race gonna start? Before attempting to read her newspaper and then promptly falling asleep just ‘My-nutes before the green flag finally flew... As I was happy to see Justin Bell get some Facetime whilst I couldn’t help but chuckle over Mikey “Aw Shucks!” Waltrip’s interview; claiming he just folded his legs in half to get behind the wheel of his Ferrari 458 Italia GA racer; Yuck-yuck-yuck... Although for GAWD’s sake Mikey, LOOSE the ‘RASSCAR sales pitch lingo will Yuhs! Hmm? May be they  should replace that 56yr old “doctor” whose in better shape then his 26 & 24 year old sons with Mikey eyes cans SELL anything instead, eh? Hee-hee-hee... As apparently testosterone boostin’ has become the new Viagra?

Thus, I mostly sat ‘N listened in the big white easy chair with a ‘FURR-rocious lap ‘Hoond named Molly expertly positioned to take up my entire lap and keep her rival Pixie from absconding any real estate; YIKES! You’re probably sayin’ what about the race, I thought this was a FREAKIN’ Racing ‘BLOB (blog) right? Hoohah! As this was before I moved another chair just scant feet from le Telescreen, closed the shades and rejoiced in being’ able to actually make out the shapes of the racecars onscreen - especially the Porsches with there classical 911 silhouettes, albeit I couldn’t make out any car numbers, etc. Before ‘aunty woke up and said is it over yet? Who’s that car? Blah-blah-blah, as it seemed nothing really happened during the opening hour-plus stint I watched until getting up for a semi-late lunch, before we went upon our really B-I-G adventure of grocery shopping... Although I thought I’d heard Leigh Diffey say that the No. 41 had been involved in a crash and spin before leaving.

And thanxs solely to Tacoma Bureau chief Mary Ellen, who inquired Sunday morning, do you wanna watch some of the Daytona 24-hours race? I got to watch far more of the race live then I’d expected; as I’ve currently got 7+ hours ‘O Memorex awating my perusal this week - as I still don’t think the No. 60 was leading yet when I took up station in front of thee ‘Telie, as it appeared to now be a three horse race between the two ‘Feurds of Starworks lead ship No. 8 piloted then by Ryan “Razzle Dazzle” Dalziel         and MSR’s lead gun - the No. 60 with Ozz Negri Jr. driving vs. that always at the forefront No. 01 ‘Cheepster-mobile with Scott Pruett at the keyboard, whilst it sounded like a raspy Booby Ruble in the commentator booth? As the senor Rahal waxed on eloquently - even musing the same story that co-driver Brian Redman had waxed-on ‘bout the day prior...

And then the calm was shattered by ‘Aunty’s awakening, whom after breakfast saw the 92-years “young” Harriet standing in-front of the ringing telephone with her walker guarding it ferociously like Roberto Luongo of the Vancouver ‘KuhNucks YELLING is anybody gonna answer the phone - imploring Mwah to attempt scoring a goal via the five-hole whilst I sat transfixed to the race...

Oh? Is there a race today? Who’s that car? Where’s it at? Oh? The Daytona 500? And So-on and So-on, as hence, from thereon until the chequered flag flew I mostly listen too thee Donnybrook brewing over who’d win ‘Somme-Oh-Dem Rolex wrist-pieces... Although I got a good chuckle over the in-car radio transcript SPEED played of the Starworks crew telling Alan thee Scottish Terrier McNish it’s “WallDinger” in the car so just keep applying pressure - HE WILL CRACK! Before switching to Pitlane where Ozz Negri was asked what he thought ‘bout ‘Dat? To which Ozz coolly replied AJ’s our Ace of Spades...

Then apparently the gloves came off as Allmendinger practiced his “Boyz Have at IT”” Rasscarland Racin’ is Rubbin’ with McNish - whilst Diffey’s voice went up an octave over the beatin ‘N bangin’ a la Mike “Yippee-Aye-Eh” King...

And with two laps to go and AJ leading the race, I pronounced out loud to myself that I’d NO longer call ‘em WallDinger, a tag AJ had earned during his Champ Car Dazes I believe... As it was absolutely FANTASTIC to watch Allmendinger cross the line victoriously, giving the well deserving Mike Shank his first Rolex24 victory as a Team Owner - along with the most deserving Justin Wilson, Ozz Negri and Jonathan Pew! As I cannot really sum it up any better then that evening’s celebratory interview AJ & Justin shared with duh Freaks...


And adding to Mike Shanks joy after nine years of trying to win the Daytona 24-hours was the fact that his other mount, the No. 6 “Junior Mint” car with thee ‘Yak, aka Gustavo Yacaman and Jorge Goncalvez from Indy Lights with Leigh O’Gorman’s? Boy Felipe Nasr and the OLD man of the quartet Michael “Double Zero” McDowell completed a Ford clean sweep of the podium, with the Starworks Boyz being the filling in Michael Shank Racing sandwich... As it was Ford’s first win at the Rolex in 13-years...

Meanwhile my GT choices faired to resemble any sorta DP predictions as the Team Seattle No. 41 Mazda RX8 did indeed get PUNTED by a Porsche and after lengthy repairs soldiered home 27th in class. While I have NO idea what happened to my second choice, the No. 22 Porsche? And apparently the No. 62 done BLOWN UP! As Porsche swept the GT podium with the apparent Aero Brick No. 57 Camaro of Stevenson Motorsports and drivers Ronnie “Sonny’s BBQ” Bremmer, John Edwards and Robin Liddell ‘Best-of-thee-Rest in fourth place in the GT category...

GT: Dempsey Racing - Rolex 24 Race Report    

Friday, January 27, 2012

ROLEX 24 BLOGATHON

So I won’t be taking part and hence am really not too sure what IT’S all about, but over at a Blogsite called GrabBagSports.com, they’ll once again be hosting their annual Rolex 24 at Daytona Blogathon...

And I think Wedge and the Speed Geek have dropped by No Fenders in the past... As I know they’re the ‘Juan’s who got me going BIG Game Huntin’ over Justin Bell’s final TV Broadcast at LeMans last year, saying he’d only be writing books from now on; Hya! Which got me to chase him down and get an interview with him, so I have to say Thanxs to Justin and hope he at least finishes ahead of the No. 56 Ferrari...

And I just listened to the GBS 2012 Blogathon Preview Podcast and was immediately struck by how serious these Dudes are, especially Mike, who’s apparently making it his mission to finally watch that EPIC racing film Driven as part of this year’s Blogathon activities... While Alan muses without bursting into laughter how its Cinematography is Monumental and every motorsports film should revolve around the extremely high standards Driven reaches; Hoohah!

As I’ll never forget ‘Aunty Harriet saying repeatedly “I wanna go see Drive!” Of which I had the good pleasure of taking her to at a “Regal Beagle” theatre. And while I recall the theatre not being overly crowded, I can still hear Joe Tonto whistlin’ Dixie whilst picking up Qarters with his Flinstone sticky rubber tyres... See Mike, this is exactly the type of epic cinematography ‘Wedge was alluding too; Hee-hee-hee! So good luck with the 24hrs ‘O Blogging Boyz and enjoy the FREE movie Driven slated for 1AM Saturday night ‘Somme-wares, as I DON’T know if that’s Seattle/Pacific or NY/INDY/East Coast time?

ROLEX 24: It’s Almost Showtime! Check out SPEED’s TV Coverage this weekend...

So, if you’ve been ‘Jonezin’ for some real Honest-to-goodness racing action - instead of those 30-minute Dakar Vignette’s... Then Y’all most likely will wanna tune-in to this weekend’s 24hrs of Daytona, more calmingly known as thee Rolex 24, which will be aired live on SPEED and speed.com over the duration of the event, with TV coverage beginning at 2:30PM ET with a 1hr pre-race show before the green flag is dropped at 3:30PM ET Saturday, January 28th.

Let’s Get Ready to Rumble!

Thursday, January 26, 2012

’Rubino to Indy Cars?

Meanwhile the Formula 1 world’s all a flutter, perhaps? Chirp Chirp... Over the news that the sports most experienced driver may be headed stateside for the vaunted IndyCar Series...

As ex-Williams F1 driver Rubens Barrichello, who is the only Formula 1 driver to make over 300 Grand Prix starts and will turn the B-I-G 4-Oh on May 30th, is slated for a two day test at Sebring this coming Monday-Tuesday; Hmm? NOTHIN’ to do with his good friend & fellow Brazilian ‘TK’s (Tony Kanaan) last minute pull-out of this weekend’s Rolex 24, eh? NOT!

But I’m sure Kanaan will be on hand to help ‘Rubens get to grips with the team’s Dallara DW12-Chevrolet. As after all the test is just down the road at the rival Sebring circuit...

ROLEX 24: Three Amigos out of this year’s race...

Just saw the news that ‘TK “Follow-your-Schnoz” Kanaan, EJ “What Me, Worry?” Viso and Bully Boy Ryan Hunter-Reay will not be taking part in this year’s Rolex 24 at Daytona aboard the No. 2 Starworks Riley-Ford DP due to their sponsor backing out at the last moment... As Kanaan was looking forward to making his Rolex 24 debut this weekend; so better luck next year ‘TK!

TEAM SEATTLE set once again to race for Children at Rolex 24 with Dempsey Racing

Dempsey Racing Mazda RX8, source: teamseattle.com
Once again, in what’s now a very long standing tradition; Team Seattle will take up its yearly challenge in the Rolex 24 at Daytona - running under the Dempsey Racing banner... Yeah, as in “Dr. McDreamy,” aka Patrick Dempsey of Grays Anatomy; although unlike years past, where Team Seattle ran a two-car operation, nevertheless, they’ll be running the No. 41 Mazda RX8 with drivers Ian James, Don Kitch Jr, Scott Maxwell and Dan Rogers who’ll be raising money for our local Seattle Children’s Hospital for each lap completed...

While Dempsey will co-drive with his business partner Joe Foster plus Charles Espenlaub and Tom Long in the lead Dempsey Racing No. 40 rotary powered Mazda - which by all accounts the two cars tested very well recently.


Dempsey you may recall was part team owner in Vision Racing and also drove the Pace Car at Indianapolis before settling into his guest driver Gig - whenever his acting schedule permits. As he’s raced at Daytona several times and not only will drive his team’s Mazda, but also an Aston Martin Vantage in the support series...

Patrick has also raced at Circuit de la Sarthe in 2009, once again for Team Seattle behind the wheel of a Ferrari 430 in the GT2 category and also has plans to graduate to the LM2/LMC category sometime this year, potentially debuting at Le Mans once again? Although it’s interesting to note that his insurance policy forbids any open cockpit machinery...


So good luck numbers 40-41, especially the Team Seattle No. 41 this weekend!

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Klaxon Bells abound!

ALL HANDS TO BATTLE STATIONS!
ALL HANDS TO BATTLE STATIONS!
THIS IS NOT A DRILL!

As riddle me this? Why in tarnations would you have a car alarm if you weren’t gonna FREAKIN’ turn it OFF when activated sporadically for 3+ hours; WTF?

As the somewhat fleeting silence of early morning Dawn was shattered at 5:03AM this morning by some bodies FRILLIN’ car alarm going OFF right outside my window. Then somewhere’s around 6AM-ish before beginning a ridiculous 35+ minute cycle at 6:50AM; SHEISA! And then again and again and again - with the last time I looked at the clock being 8:11AM; FUCK!

But hey, at least it wasn’t Molotov cocktails for breakfast which is becoming the Breakfas ‘O Champions; Err de riggour in someplace called Bahrain, which is ramping up towards the one year Anniversary of the Pearl Roundabout massacres - noting that our very own Government has just issued a travel advisory...


OOPS! Sorry ‘bout ‘Dat, as first Randy “The CandyMann” Bernard and then the newly minted COO Marc Koretzky has said we here in Bloggerland or in the WeaveUhSphere need to be more Happy Happy Joy Joy; Err positive... BUTT! Why in the HE “Double Hockey sticks” can I NOT find a single link on ze internetz telling me what his name is?

Then again, wasn’t that positive by denoting how it was only a FUCKING DINGBATS Car Alarm vs. Stun-grenades, Tear-gas canisters, Molotov cocktails, Riot Police and Civil unrest?

As here comes the locust sounding drone of the Leaf-blower brigade, the 'Juans who blew dirt 'N debris into my Storage locker... Oh Never Mind!

Monday, January 23, 2012

Peugeot Quits Endurance Racing

In another shocking blow to the motorsports world, Peugeot has unexpectedly quit Sports Car racing immediately, and therefore will not contest either this year’s 24 Heurs du Mans or the new World Endurance Championship (WEC) which kicks off with this year’s 60th running of the 12-hours of Sebring...

Hmm? I guess it’s a good thing that le Hamburgular and Symone Pagenoe, nee Sebastian Bourdais & Simon Pagenaud respectively - both factory Peugeot drivers have decided to come stateside and go IndyCar racing instead...

ROLEX 24: 2012 Daytona Classic celebrates 50th Anniversary with host of Big Names...

This coming weekend’s Rolex 24 at Daytona International Speedway; January 28-29 will once again feature a bevy ‘O B-I-G name drivers, with several Open Wheel Racing Starz in the mix, not to mention luminaries from the Sports Car world along with ex-Formula 1 drivers ...

And this year’s 50th running of the 24 hours of Daytona has a twist to it too with the announcement of new rules for the Daytona Prototype (DP) Big Boyz, as essentially the “Greenhouse” cockpit area has been redesigned along with subtle Bodywork allowances in order to more closely mimic production vehicles, i.e.; Corvette, and hence there will be five brand new shiny 2012-spec Corvette DP’s taking part...

IndyCar Participants
Team Penske’s Ryan Briscoe will once again compete with Wayne Taylor’s No. 10 SunTrust Corvette-DP alongside Max “Thee Ax” Angelelli & Ricky Taylor.

Scott Dixon and Dario Franchitti will once again be part of the two car Target Armada, paired with Juan Pablo ‘MAC Montoya & Jamie McMurry aboard the No. 02 Riley-BMW DP; while Graham Rahal will return with Scott ‘Scooter Pruett, Memo Rojas & Factory BMW DTM driver Joey Hand in the No. 01.

Justin ‘BIG UNIT Wilson will begin his seat time re-acclimatization with ex-Champ Car driver A.J. Allmendinger - now a Penske ‘RASSCAR Boy, plus Ozz Negri and John Pew Chauffeuring the No. 60 Michael Shank Racing with Curb/Agajanian Riley-Ford DP.

And TK “Follow-your-Schnoz” Kanaan and EJ “What Me, Worry?” Viso will be partnered with Bully Boy Ryan Hunter-reay, Maurizio Scala and Miguel Potolicchio driving the No. 2 Starworks Riley-Ford DP...

In the No. 6 Ford-Riley MSR Daytona Prototype will be a pair ‘O Indy Lights Boyz, with Jorge Goncalvez and thee ‘Yak, a.k.a. Gustavo Yacaman behind the wheel... With NO word on whether or not co-driver Michael McDowell will wish to give some bodies (No. 56 Ferrari the Chrome Horn treatment!

James Hinchcliffe will make his Daytona 24hrs debut behind the wheel of a GT Mazda, co-driving the No. 70 RX-8 with Marino Franchitti and Jonathan Bomarito; whilst ex-IndyCar driver ‘Rafa Matos will join “FishyFella,” aka Giancarlo Fisichella and Gianmaria Bruni aboard the brutally quick No. 62 Risi Competizione Ferrari 458 GT.

And I’ve just discovered Thee Thrill from the West Hill, aka ‘PT or better known as Paul Tracy’s name as part of the Doran Racing’s No. 77 Dallara-Ford DP effort, with fellow ex-CART competitors Massimiliano “MAD MAX” Papis in the Number Nine, number-9, number Nein! (No. 9) Action Express Racing Corvette-DP... While Christian Fittipaldi who just celebrated his 41st birthday will chauffer the No. 5 Action Express Racing ‘Seester Corvette-DP, and Memo Gidley will co-drive the No. 99 Bob Stallings Racing Corvette-DP...


Other BIG Names
And I’m a HUGE Fan ‘O Ryan Dalziel’s - as this ‘Scot never got his fair shot in Indy Cars, having been forced out at Pacific Coast Motorsports - remember them? Who’ll be looking for his second winner’s Rolex chronograph watch alongside Alan “The Terrier” McNish, a ‘Mega Sports Car ace! Plus ex-Penske Sports Car and Porsche Factory Gun Lucas Luhr in the Starworks ‘Seester car...

Not to mention David Donohue, Terry Borcheller, Joao Barbosa, etc. Who’ve all stood on the podiums top step. While I see GM’s loaned out factory boy ‘MAGS, nee Jan Magnessen to the Spirit of Daytona Corvette-DP.

Meanwhile there’s a number of “Sleepers” in the GT field - like the No. 45 with such notables as Patrick Long, Mike “Rocky” Rockenfeller and Jorg Bergmeister piloting the venerable Flying Lizards Porsche 911 GT3, not to mention another stout lineup piloting a brace ‘O Porsche Panzerwagons for TRG!

And then there’s the interesting entry named Yellow Dragon Motorsports with “Gentleman” John & son Jarett Andretti spearheading the driving line-up with co-drivers Taylor Hacquard and Anders “the Viking” Krohn, who’s another Indy Lights driver. As it’ll be the first time the Andretti’s have driven together and I believe it’ll be John’s first time in a Mazda RX8?

While another lost in the wilderness OWR talent by the name of John Edwards, not the politician, but the former Star Mazda and Toyota Atlantics champion who’s been driving for Mazda will once again see duty behind the keyboard, albeit this time in a rival Camaro, the No. 57 - sharing seat time with an ex-Dale Coyne (DCR) Sonny’s Barbeque Boy...

And several of la Scuderia’s latest examples will also be on hand - where I spotted lurking off the radar somewhat, Travis Pastrana’s name alongside his ‘RASSCAR-LITE team owner Mikey “Aw Shucks” Waltrip running the No. 56 AF-Waltrip Ferrari 458 GT. Not to mention some Dude named Scotty Sharp who’ll be running in his No. 03 Extreme Speed Motorsports Ferrari...

Another B-I-G name I recently had the privilege of interviewing here at No Fenders; current SPEED TV “Funnyman” & Reporter Justin Bell, apparently has gotten the racing bug once again after his return in last year’s Petit LeMans - and will be part of the No. 4’s Porsche GT3 driver lineup...


Locals
This is just a small smattering ‘O local talent, as I know, what about all of the ‘KuhNucks from next door Vancouver, BC, eh? Hey! You try typing down everybody’s name; Otay?

Thus I just kept to my home state, albeit was unawares of some ‘Ol Crooner from Oregon; Hya!

No. 22: Bullet Racing - Porsche GT3; Randy Blaylock, Bothell, Washington and Joe White, Spokane, WA. (Actually, this 5-driver team features two ‘Hosers, i.e. Vancouver, BC Boys, one Californian and two ‘Warshingtonians...)

No. 41: Dempsey Motorsports/Team Seattle - Mazda RX8; Don Kitch Jr., Bellevue, WA.

No. 99: Bob Stalling Racing - Corvette-DP; John “CCR” Fogarty; Bend, Oregon. (Transplanted Californian - Two-time Toyota Atlantics champion...)

Ex-Champ Car Boyz
No. 57:Stevenson Motorsports - Camaro; Ronnie Bremer,
No. 87: Racers Edge Motorsports - Dodge Viper; Jan “Van Hagar” Heylen

And currently there’s 14 DP’s and 46 GT’s entered for the race, which you can peruse in the entry list below.

As once again I’m torn between Justin & AJ vs. Dalziel’ & McNish, although I’d prefer seeing the No. 60 win overall, while I’ll definitely be rootin’ for the No. 41 Team Seattle car in the GT category, with my second choice being the No. 22 followed by the No. 62...

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Sarah seeing Green?

This just in from Speedway Indiana, where ‘Offical No Fenders Photographer ‘CARPETS reports that he went to a ribbon cutting ceremony for Walgreens this morning; says that Walgreens is promoting living healthier and have revamped there stores and are now Walgreen "Well" Pharmacy's.

This promotion is starting In Indy - at the 16th & Meridian location; while they have 70 locations in the state.  A couple of the speakers were Indiana senator Richard Lugar and former Indianapolis Colts Head Coach Tony Dungee; who claimed he’d arrived at midnight and didn’t know why he had 148-messages - ‘Somme-thun ‘bout a Head Coach vacancy? As his wife wasn’t able to attend, with the couple just having rolled-out their eighth child; aye Karumba!


Inside store festivities included, as the Walgreens VP (Greg Wassen?) announced, were "Indianapolis favorite Sarah Fisher," along with ‘Hubby Andy O’Gara, Coleen O’Gara, members of SFHR and other Sarah Fisher posse... 

Outside they had the #67 Sarah Fisher Hartman Racing Indy showcar painted up in the Walgreens colours. Yet there was absolutely NO word mentioned about Walgreens becoming SFHR’s new sponsor...

Yet hopefully Walgreens will jump on board the little team that could! And potentially revel in the possibility of Joseph Newgarden’s winning R.O.Y. (Rookie Of the Year) honours, eh? Which should be a good duel between him, “Symone Pagenoe” (Simon Pagenaud) and Thy Leggy ‘Juan, aka Katherine Legge.

Hopefully SFHR will be able to finally announce not only Walgreens in the very near term future, say after some ‘lil ‘Ol Pigskin game in Indianapolis. Can you say Superbowl? But also finally reveal their engine manufacture and finally get down to testing.

So if you like the looks of this car - perhaps Y’all should “Tweet,” Facebook or Email Walgreens and let ‘em know you’re an SFHR Fan who wants to see it happen. As perhaps there’s a Walgreens nearby Thee ‘DAWG’s; Err pressdog’s Iowa locale who formerly dropped multiple coinage at the now departed SFR’s “Bumblebee” sponsor...

Kudos ‘CARPETS!

Emerald Green...

No. 67 Snomobile - Front
While Seattle’s being socked by freezing rain, Sleet, SNOW & Ice...
Apparently we were able to send Indianapolis some of our Arctic air...  As according to ‘CARPETS: In the middle of the ceremony, believe it or not, it started snowing here (too) in the Eastern Time Zone.  Here's a couple pics of the snow covered #67 Walgreens car.  

No. 67 Snomobile - Side
And inquiring minds wanna know: Do you think race control would drop the green under these conditions??

(Photos courtesy of ‘Offical No Fenders photographer ‘CARPETS)

SFHR: A Different Shade of Green?

“The Whole Enchilada!”

“Nose Job”

Side View
Here are some pics of the #67 Sarah Fisher Hartman Racing (SFHR) Showcar in Walgreens livery. First a great angle view of the entire car, then a front shot, and then a direct side view...

(Photos courtesy of ‘Offical No Fenders photographer ‘CARPETS)

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Bahraini King Attempts pulling Rabbit out of Hat...

Last Sunday, King Hamad bin Isa al-Khalifa attempted appeasing his subjects; Err citizens with apparently what is arguably a very watered down set of changes intended to quell the long sought for political changes in the Kingdom of Bahrain.

Yet according to Opposition members, the changes are largely ‘Smoke & Mirrors - symbolic gestures in the King’s extremely slow attempts to bend to his publics demands...


Meanwhile, reports claim that another civil protest has just been broken up by Police using stun-grenades in attempts to flush out anti-government protesters in advance of this weekend’s Air show; as reportedly the clash between citizens and the police are still a daily occurrence...

Yet, not only does Formula 1 desire to return to the Oil-rich Kingdom this April; Hey, after all we’re talking millions of dollars potentially lining Uncle Bernaughty’s pockets... Not to mention all of the F1 Teams sponsors, eh?

And if it isn’t bad enough that Formula 1 plans to return to the Gulf Nations Island, for which I cannot believe that many Foreigners will wish to attend? Oh Crap! You mean Bernie ‘N duh boyz are gonna ‘Winge on ‘bout poor attendance; WTF? The Bahrain International Circuit also plans to hold corresponding rounds of the GP2 series and World Endurance Championship (WEC) this year - in what arguably is a very distraught region of the world.

As I know many will argue that the cancellation of Dakar in 2008 and subsequent relocation from Africa to Argentina, Chile and Peru was different since it involved “Terrorists.” Yet is the concept of NOT returning to the region due to its continuing civil unrest ultimately that different?

And I’m quite certain that the comca$t owned Peacock Networks will keep from reporting anything about the peaceful Occupy Indianapolis demonstrations during the forthcoming Superbowl blitz...

Yet, as for Bahrain - it is a total DISGRACE that in only the past weeks the BIC’s Hierarchy has actually reinstated the several hundred employees purged from the race track for having the Chutzpah to publicly disagree with King Hamad’s Monarchy, while countless professional Athlete’s were imprisoned for taking a stand with the people; not to mention the scores of civilians KILLED by what the Commission’s report found to be excessive use of force and torture by the overzealous Riot Police!

Torture Used on Protesters in Bahrain, Report Says

And somehow I suspect that a one Mr. Bernard Ecclestone will coyly concoct some sideshow in order to miss out attending Bahrain in person, eh? As I for one will NOT watch or report on this year’s Bahrain Grand Prix...

SNOW-MUH-GETTON 2012

Otay, so many may be saying WTF? So it’s SNOWING in Seattle, big bleepin’ dealio... Whale, hey actually it rather is, as our state’s capitol Olympia may just break the all-time record for snowfall in a 24hr period, which is 14-inches...

And its only forecasted to be a low of 70 and High of 84deg-f on the B-I-G Island today, i.e.; Kona, Hawaii; SHEISA!


As I’d sure rather be there being buzzed by green Sea Turtles, or HE-LL! Watchin’ - Err listening to some Lotus-by-Judd, ‘Chebby-Ilmor ‘N Honda hairdryer’s pounding ‘round Sebring, Florida, eh?

Monday, January 16, 2012

Longtime Gentleman Racer and MOMO Founder Passes away...

This is sad news, as I was surprised to read late Sunday night that MOMO Founder Gianpiero Moretti had passed away at the age of 67 in Milan - as I’ll forever regale in the thought’s ‘N sights of those memorizing scarlet rosso and yallo Ferrari 333SP’s... Of which I had the good fortune of seeing pound ‘round Portland International Raceway in 1999!

And if you’re “Car Crazy” at all, then you’d definitely known the name MOMO, which I’ve always associated with “High Performance” steering wheels & shifter knobs, as I once knew two brothers who’d ‘Kitted their Subaru and Porsche 914 with such accessories...

And I believe it was none other then the very same Messer Moretti whose beaten ‘N bandaged MOMO Corse 333SP gave rise to an ex-Formula 1 Italian driver named Massimiliano Papis, who literally drove the wheels off of the scarlet Ferrari which had been given the ‘MAC Montoya treatment over the 24-hours of that year’s Daytona endurance classic...

Recall that it was 1996 when “MAD MAX” was born at Daytona Beach, Florida when he not only unlapped the Ferrari, but came within just 64 precious seconds adrift (behind) the winning Riley & Scott MkIII-Oldsmobile of Wayne Taylor by running breakneck qualifying laps during his entire last driving segment.

As the 1996, ’97 & ’99 winning Riley & Scott MKIII’s will be taking part in this year’s 50th Anniversary display at Daytona.


And I like the quote of how Gianpiero claimed he’d probably spent the equivalent of 1,000 Rolex timepieces in his pursuit of winning just one prized Chronograph watch! But he wanted to win Daytona in the worst way possible as a racing driver - which he finally did on his 15th attempt with co-drivers Mauro Baldi, Arie Luyendyk and Didier Theys. As the Italian responsible for convincing la Scuderia to return to Sports Car racing by creating the exquisite 333SP fittingly gave Ferrari its lone Daytona 24-hours Overall victory in 1998.

Yet how many of you know that Gianpiero was always searching for the best possible machinery in his personal quest towards winning that prized Rolex timepiece and thus purchased the once dominant Electromotive Nissan GTP chassis in the early 1990’s, albeit at the end of its competitive life-cycle. As by then, unfortunately for Moretti, some guy named Dan Gurney’s ‘lil Toyota ‘4-banger was decimating the IMSA GTP field.

Yet, like many trinkets sprinkled about ‘Somme-wherez in Tomaso Manor - carefully put away in a protective tube is a poster of that very same red & yellow MOMO livery Nissan GTP that was co-piloted by some ‘Chap named Derek Bell, whom just so happened to be autographing them in the Portland paddock... As apparently this was a stop-gap measure until Mr. Moretti’s brand spankin’ new Ferrari 333SP was delivered...


Salute Gianpiero!   

Dragon Steals Headlines Ink with le Hamburgular signing

So I haveda say I was most surprised early Saturday morning when cruising thru the IndyStar (“Fish-wrap”) Sports section and learned that Jay Penske had pulled off a Master-stroke which I for ‘Juan never saw coming...

In case Y’all haven’t heard yet, Jay Penske, son of thee Captain’s - some ‘Chap named Roger Penske... Whom you may have heard of? Will field a Full-time two car team for 2012 with drivers Sebastian Bourdais and Katherine Legge being propelled with “Lotus-by-Judd” Powerplants...

And the news goes on as ‘Kurty Cavin notes that Jay & the Dragon’s are moving houses - shifting over to the “Left Coast,” where they’ll take up residence in a brand spankin’ new 12,000-square foot glass enclosure in Marina Del Ray!

No word on whether or not ‘SeaBass, (Sebastain Bourdais) aka le Hamburgular will slather any of his proprietary winning NHR Secret Sauce over the flanks of his newly minted black ‘N gold Dragon slayer, eh? As I think it’d be perfect homage to the now missing Newman Haas Racing organization by Bourdais running the No. 31 this year, while Thy Leggy ‘Juan could run number 32. Hmm? Thee Mayor ‘O Hinchtown, nee James Hinchcliffe’s gonna run the No. 27 - anything to do with some revered “Quaw-becker’s named Villeneuve? Which means apparently that ‘Somme-bodie’s number seven plate is available... Hmm? Katherine Legge No. 7 and Bourdais No. 8; we’ll see...
   

‘DirtMann lobs a ‘HummDinger of Smack Down on rival Competitors...

So you haveda say Robby “DirtMann Gourdoun” Gordon simply punches above his respective “weight Class” with his “Californian Cool,” Vim & Vigor, Bravado or whatever Y’all wanna call IT? As the ‘SoCal native threw-down mightily upon his rival Competitors on Day-13’s Stage-12...

Having told the whole World previously: “We’ll put a cork (bolt) in IT and still WIN Stages... As Robby apparently really did put a bolt in the infamous (“Illegal”) air-line pipe before taking NO prisoners on the next day’s stage - telling the BMW X-Raid Mini drivers Stéphane Peterhansel & Nani Roma to SHUT UP!!!

Speaking into the Camera eye upon finishing first; ‘DirtMann triumphantly said:  KISS MY A**! As apparently the word ASS is too vulgar to be said on TV; WTF?

But you’ve gotta ‘LUV Robby’s Bravado - pointedly speakin’ into le Telescreen and exclaiming: “Mini’s are for Girl’s!”

Therefore, I just sat transfixed to ze ‘Boob-tube laughing-out-loud to myself as Gordon took Peterhansel & Roma to the ‘Wood-shed! Winning by 24minutes, as Gordon’s victory speech continued...

Ssee those X’s ‘N O’s there? That’s how many vehicles we  passed on the stage... How many? 22!

But the show wasn’t over yet! As I enjoyed seeing Gordon call over the Mini Girl’s Stefanie and Nancy (Peterhansel & Roma) after the stage, opening up the ‘boot and sayin’ see this pipe... Yeah, what about IT? Whale ‘Dat’s the majik power booster you claimed I was using to CHEAT... So GO FUCK YOURSELFS!!!

FUNNY S-H-I-T! As that hasta be the best theatre of this year’s entire Dakar! As I’m surprised that Gordon didn’t toss a helmet at them afterwards - and throw a strike... Whale at least he definitely picked-up a spare on that ‘Juan; Hya!

Kubica suffers new injury...

Former BMW-Sauber and Renault F1 Driver Robert Kubica has re-injured himself once again, having recently slipped upon an icy street in Italy - breaking his right leg in the process...


As the likeable ‘Polish Formula 1 star has been trying to recuperate fully from his devastating Rally accident nearly a  year ago, just prior to the 2011 Grand Prix season kicking off.

Now comes word that the 27-year ‘Pole has just had surgery to repair the broken appendage and will spend further time in plaster before continuing his lengthy rehabilitation, as surely “The Krakow Kid” wishes to make a return to Formula 1 ASAP...

Friday, January 13, 2012

Air coming Out of Hummer’s - literally...

Sitting down to hopefully watch the previous evening’s taped Dakar coverage, I thought Oh CRAP! Here we go again as the action started with “Cars” coverage instead of the usual Bikes first theme of the prior nine days...

But it soon became apparent why, as shockingly Car no. 303 was EXCLUDED from the Dakar after following an intense re-scrutineering effort by Officials. And just who is No. 303 you may be asking? Whale it’s none other then that overly brash Californian Robby Gordon and his monster (2WD) Hummer!

Dakar Organizer Statement:
“On completion of the ninth, following observation of technical non-compliance on vehicle number 303 (Robby Gordon) (article 1P and 3P of the technical rules), the Car Race Officials' Committee has decided to disqualify number 303 from the race. The driver has appealed against this decision. During appeals, decisions are placed on hold. As a result, vehicle number 303 will continue the rally until the outcome of the appeal.”

Yet the strange thing about this “infraction” regarding the Hummer’s tyre inflation system is that reportedly it was approved by the very same Dakar scrutineers for the 2011 Rally - plus this year’s Dakar... And is the exact same system that Gordon’s Hummer’s have been utilizing the past five years.

Interestingly the problem flared-up after Gordon had whittled down The Desert fox, aka Stéphane Peterhansel’s lead to under six-minutes. Although it does seem slightly weird that Tech Inspectors found an air line running to the engine’s air intake behind the mandatory air restrictor - whilst Robby boldly told the camera eye: “We’ll put a bolt in it and still win Stages!”

Of course this was all prior to Peterhansel ‘N “DirtMann” going Wheel-to-Wheel! Err, or as Professor ‘B (Jon Bekhuis) said; Gordon’s used to rubbing door handles in You-know-where... As I hear that ‘Somme-body will be PEAK-ing over ‘Dar in late February; Hmm? Who could it be?

As Peterhansel apparently refused to give way to Gordon - causing him to fly off a berm hitting a rock and destroying his front wheel, along with puncturing two tyres, sustaining heavy suspension damage and losing a further 14-minutes to Stephane...

Of course this just egged on the Mini drivers to uncork about Gordon, as second place overall competitor Nani Roma told the camera eye: “I CANNOT SAY ON TV WHAT I THINK OF GORDON!”

Meanwhile, Robby’s teammate Nasser Al Attiyah retired the day previously after breaking his Hummer’s alternator belt three times - to which Gordon mused “Nasser” had wanted to quit four days earlier...

Hmm? Disgruntled teammates followed by the boss’s exclusion... Makes Yuhs wonder just how exactly the scrutineers were tipped off what to look for, eh?

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Feathers Fly as New TV Network Slams Dakar coverage against the boards...

So, I sincerely hope it isn’t a Pre-cursor of what’s to come from the new & improved Versus TV channel... As NBC Sports Network has already garnered a blue line foul & subsequent Faceoff when they ran some 14-plus minutes of “Regulation-time” with excessive blather over the evening’s Hockey game... And hence, your humble scribe, who’s still going ‘Ol School for visual reasons - LOST nearly half of the evening’s video-taped DAKAR Day-2 highlights... Which in my book gives the Hometeam Peacock-lite two minutes in the PENALTY BOX for Hooking!

Having gone back to my standard method of recording, i.e.; add a minimum of 30-extra minutes to the taping - I sat down for lunch and why HE-LL! I’ll just watch Peacock-lite’s afternoon rebroadcast of what I taped the evening prior... NOPE! We’re havin’ NONE of ‘Dat, as after I saw an overly stoic Bob Costas sign off from whatever - they played the WRONG FRILLIN’ DAY’S TAPE! As in Day-2 instead of Day-3; GRRRRRRRUURRRRRR!!!! And we haven’t even gotten to racing season yet! But I digress...

I’ve already very briefly mentioned the first day’s Special Stage tragedy, where Argentine rider Jorge Martinez Boero Died from a Heart attack induced from competition injuries... But just like in Indy Cars, after the NEEDLESS tragedy of Dan Wheldon; THE show MUST GO ON!

Day-2
January 2nd was Robby “DirtMann Gourdoun” Gordon’s 43rd birthday; HOLY TERMINATORS BATMAN! Gordon’s one day OLDER than Herr Schumacher, as in the famous Ralfanso’s elder brother Michael; Hya! Which I guess makes it somewhat karmic that I was shown Robby Gordon and Michael Schumacher’s autographs together on the same wall in Anderstorp: Yah sure Yuh Betcha!


But back to the Rally, as his Team leader Nasser Al Attiyah decided to give him a B-Day present! After having the lead on Day-1 until one kilometer to go, when the motor cut-out, Al Attiyah lost 10-minutes after his Owner (Gordon) pulled over and towed him across the finish line... As Robby surely would have won the Special Stage...

But DirtMann got quite the enjoyable present from the Qatari, who redeemed himself by winning Stage-2 with Gordon finishing third; the pair being split by Stéphane Peterhansel, with the “Desert Fox” becoming the Mini filling in the Hummer sandwich...

Cody “Commander” Quinn had the Dakar to forget, as things got off to a rocky start when his ‘Scooter was shipped to Peru instead of Argentina, as apparently somebody got the countries order bass-ackwards! But the bike arrived just in the nick ‘O time, before the foyboils continued. As on Day-2 his rear tyre was mounted incorrectly and blew out during the start. Quinn resourcefully commandeered the rival KTM mechanics into giving him a spare tyre which enabled the ‘Yank to finish out the day’s event.

Unfortunately, Homeboy Jonah Street’s ride wasn’t as fruitful, as the pride of Ellensburg, WA was forced to quit after a never ending case of Lucas ‘Lectrics; Err, Electrical Gremlins that caused the ‘yuama Hopper to continuously die - running scant kilometers at a time before shutting down again, causing Jonah to have to wait for the bike to cool off before restarting. Therefore Street had NO alternative than to withdraw from the event due to mechanical woes after failing to complete the second day’s ride.


Jonah Street
Withdraws from 2012 Dakar and Announces Retirement

Day-3
Commander Cody’s (Quinn) travails went from bad to worse, ultimately falling hard on Stage-3, completely destroying his Honda, along with separating his shoulder - hence, incurring the worst possible type of sophomore-slump and was forced to withdraw from the event...

Broadcast Notes
The earlier hockey laced snipe above was directed at the fact that NBC is crashing duh Boards mightily with a Full court press right now over NHL Hockey - which I understand is its bread ‘N butter; BUTT! The slashing of other programming just makes me cringe whilst thinking of Indy Car being bumped on ABC for Women’s Golf previously; CRIKEYS!

And I’m surprised that Nobody’s corrected me yet, as Juan ‘O my favourite Versus; Err IndyCar Announcers is doing the Dakar solo, as in Professor ‘B, aka Jon Bekhuis, who’s doing his usual steady Yeoman’s-like reporting job during the daily half hour vignette’s... As I thoroughly enjoy Jon, just don’t know if this means Robby “Purple” Floyd’s gone from the Network? Or perhaps just doing his Indy Car Pit-crew relief duties this summer when Marty & Wally run off to Fenderzland for the TNT summer portion of ‘RASSCAR...

Day-6
In a stark contrast to the First Four-days of record temperatures being set in Argentina, with a BLISTERING HEAT of 100-110 degrees! (Fahrenheit) I’m sure that the competitors were somewhat relieved to not have to be trying to crawl their ways over a suddenly SNOW laden mountain pass... As Day-6’s Stage competition over the 15,000+ foot Andes Mountain pass was cancelled due to SNOW! Which I believe is a first in Dakar history...

Perils of Dakar
And although Quinn “Commander” Cody’s accident and subsequent withdrawal from this year’s event was painful; I feel that American rider James Embro’s near miss accident was even more frightening! As the ‘Yank rider aboard the No. 106 - riding another Yamaha was struck by an errant rock from a passing competitor’s truck - flinging said rock towards the unsuspecting rider - WHUMP! As Embro was hit by the rock whilst traveling at 115kph and as he told the Camera eye later when he turned his head back round his goggles immediately filled-up with blood!

And although he didn’t suffer any major damage, James was forced to withdraw from the event due to the fact that his helmet was too painful to wear. 

Thus, we’re left with just ‘Juan lone ‘Yank left to attempt soldiering onto the finish, as No. 81 ridden by Ned “Doctor” Suesse of Colorado hopes to complete his Debutant Dakar rally on a Privateer KTM…

And previously on Day-2, another Motorcycle rider sustained an insect (bug) bite just above his eye. Yet he contested the entire Stage with a swollen eye - musing how he’d really needed both eyes to finish the ride...

Day-7
With the previous day’s Stage cancelled, the competitors were itchin’ to get back to business, as Nasser Al Attiyah laid down a ‘Humdinger of a Stage en route to victory, with his ‘Domesteek ‘N Wingman covering his Six... As Robby Gordon gave Team Hummer an unprecedented 1-2 Stage sweep...

‘DomestTeek’s R U.S.?
Yet Gordon’s bravado seemed to be slipping a ‘Wee Bit? As I heard Somme-wheres perhaps it was the altitude making Gordon speak unflatteringly towards the Qatari? As Robby seemed quite peeved ‘Dat Nasser had been making so many mistakes whilst pushing to make up lost time, claiming how he’d had a talking-to; Err, chat with Nasser and explained how he wouldn’t tolerate anymore mistakes... Hmm? Must be a hard pill for Robby to swallow - having a teammate faster then him, eh?

Although in Gordon’s defense - he is clearly in better position Overall vs. Al Attiyah, and thus his not stopping for Nasser on Day-9 seemed warranted as the Californian lopped off some seven-minutes time on BMW-Mini rival Peterhansel, the leader of the Rally, now only some six-plus minutes ahead.

And Nasser Al Attiyah who’s en route to Citroen for the upcoming World Rally Championship noted his ambitions to do the Dakar with the French company in the future, so he seems like a man on the way out as there seems to be steadily growing friction between him and Gordon...

URGH!

So, who’ll win this year’s Dakar? Better tune-in to Peacock-lite to find out - provided they can actually show the remaining Day’s coverage at the specified Air-times! I mean its bad enough that it AIN’T on ‘til 10:30PM/1:30AM PACIFIC/NY/Indy/ET; BUTT!

I knew I was in trouble Tuesday night when the BLEEPIN’ Hockey game went into Shoot-out mode... As, yep; they delayed the broadcast by 30-minutes... Hmm? Why am I startin’ to feel like its Dazes of Duh Douche - that fine ‘Seester channel of ESPN’s that’s treated like the Red-haired Step-child of the Dizney Shoppin’ Networks;

Oh Never Mind!