Monday, May 31, 2010

Will the REAL Third place I500 finisher please Stand-up?


So AIN’T it funny how the “REAL” Media was in just such an Oh My Goodness lather, tripping over itself in the Goldrush to chat-up Princess ‘DannaWho’s big fifth place finish at The Speedway yesterday... As ABC had Jamie Little give Danica considerable “Facetime” immediately afterwards... Even in the aftermath of Marco Andretti pointedly stating that he didn’t know what was going on as everybody was passing him under the Yellow flag after Mike Conway’s incident!

And was it my imagination... Or did ABC SNUB the original third place finisher Alex Lloyd? As in that has to be one of Dale Coyne’s better finishes at the Brickyard, eh? Even if who pressdog coined as the Iron Hand ‘O Justice, nee Brian BraveHeart (Barnhart) correctly revised the final race placing’s with Marco Andretti third, Lloyd fourth, Scott Dixon fifth and Dania “My Team’s Great!” P. demoted to sixth...


Marco Andretti awarded third place after review

Sunday, May 30, 2010

Conway survives wicked crash at Indy!

So I was busy watchin’ the Turkish GP and just “lucked” into the last part of Robin Miller’s take upon the frightening Indy 500 accident between Ryan Hunter-Reay and Mike Conway on The Speed Report.

Miller stated that Justin Wilson thought that Hunter-Reay ran out of fuel and Conway had nowhere to go before careening airborne in a horrendous looking accident! To which apparently Conway received a broken leg and torn ligaments amongst other injuries, as I’d expect him to have multiple bruising as well... But as reported on the ABC Broadcast, Conway never lost consciousness and was taken to Methodist Hospital by Helicopter in order to avoid the Post-race traffic...

Mike Conway in horror smash at Indy 500 as British drivers sweep the board

UPDATE:
Both Mike Conway and Ryan Hunter-Reay underwent surgeries last night, with Conway the worst of the two, not only suffering a broken leg but also a back injury which will keep him sidelined for a further three months, while Hunter-Reay will race at Texas with a broken thumb...

Conway and Hunter-Reay Medical update

DARIO ROCKS!


FUCKING EH RAY! What a command performance by Dario “REO Speedwagon” Franchitti today at The Brickyard! As Dario simply kicked ASS! Leading 155 laps along with joining a very elite group of just eight Drivers to do the “Double,” as in Two Time Indy 500 winners, as Franchitti’s win made me think of Juan Pablo Montoya’s masterpiece way back in 2000...

And I thought that was pretty cool that Mr. Dashley had his Better Half Mrs. Judd go for the victor’s Pace Car ride along with ‘Cheep...

Congratulations Dario!

INDY 500: FAZZT Race Team Feel Good MoJo continues


2010 INDY 500 Starting Grid

This Upstart Indy Car Racing Team from Up North Eh! Just keeps on impressing... Thus I dually hope that they have a most impressive race outing today at The Speedway, as GASP! I’d even rejoice in TAG’s anointed teammate GULP! Winning the Indy 500! And would be willing to overlook “My Baggage” with the crooked nose Brazilian...

Yet again as a Visually Impaired ‘Vurd Botcherer... I swear it appeared that Bruno Junqueira took a plain white “Wrapper” Dallara/Honda IndyCar onto the Brickyard when he made his amazing qualifying blast Sunday morning... As his No. 33 looked to be devoid of sponsorship decals and hence the new nickname of “Ice-Ice, Baby!” In dereference to his Vanilla white racecar... So I find it somewhat amusing that he’s now got a yellow racecar that will sport Jay Howard’s primary sponsor Service Central as his new Associate sponsor. Not to mention that he’ll have another past Tagliani association in his ear come Sunday, as the crafty Derrick Walker will be Bruno’s Team Strategist...

(Indy 500 Carb Day Quotes from FAZZT Race Team)
Derrick Walker:
"First impressions, I'm very impressed. The car is obviously good and it's great to be working with Bruno and back with Rob (Edwards) and Alex again as well. I think it's going to be a fun race. The Indianapolis 500 is just a great race and always different and a very special race to be involved in and even more special to win."

Bruno Junqueira:
"43 laps, I think I'm getting the groove of it now. It was good to be back in the car and be able to practice and do long runs. I think we improved the car a little bit for race set-up. I started out today with a little too much understeer but we made it better and I'm quite happy. I have to thank Derrick Walker for coming in to help and the FAZZT Race Team for their help as well. I think we're going to have a good race car and it's just going to be very difficult to pass especially from where I'm starting. We need to be very patient but that is ok because we have a fast car."
And I’m guessing he’d rather not talk about it... As Phillip B Wilson who’s quite the “Stand-up Comedian” has just penned another article for The Star about Indy Racing League Crew Member Carey Hall, who’s been diagnose with Lou Gehrig’s disease; SHEISA!

Crew member stays positive as he fights ALS
As Carey has courageously decided to continue on his Crewing Duties this Sunday and will be Bruno’s Fueler, after originally being slated to be Jay Howard’s Fuel man on the No. 66 Sarah Fisher racing mount.

But Hey! DON’T forget about ‘TAG, who’d obviously like to have his KuhNaidiun Mug inserted upon the Borg Warner Trophy and break the BIG 3 Stranglehold upon the Indy 500 winner’s laurels, eh? As only Rahal Letterman Racing in 2004 has won the race besides Chip Ganassi, (2000, ’08) Roger Penske (2001-03, ’06, ’09) and Mikey Andretti (2005, ’07) during the past 10yrs...

Alex Tagliani:"I'm just very happy again today. The car is good in traffic and I think we have a very competitive car. My goal today was to make sure the car was consistent through the long runs and so far, mission accomplished. We just have 500 miles to go and if we can be there at the end I think we can contend for the win."

So Good Luck Alex, Bruno ‘N FAZZT!

Speedway Sirens flock to Indianapolis in droves: The Centennial Years (2010 Edition)


Surprisingly (NOT!) the Indy Racing League’s Numero Uno Female persona Danica Patrick has for the first time in her racing career heard a chorus of BOOS!

Patrick’s Act Starting To Wear Thin

Thus perhaps, the INDYCAR Universe DOESN’T revolve solely around Media Darling Princess Perma Pout, Err ‘DannaWho? nee Princess Sparkle Pony anymore... (HALLELUIAH!)

As it appears this season )Aw Shucks!) Danica Patrick is having a hard time finishing higher then P17! DON’T POUT ‘DainiaStar! We’re gonna make a special Trophy class just for Uze...

Yet, I first scribbled ‘bout the true Women in Racing back in 2007 when then a unheard of Three Females were to attempt racing at the Speedway for the very first time in the Brickyard’s history...

Women in Racing

Thus, as previously noted, prior to ‘DanicaMania, the first women racers were in Grand Prix, prior to the modern day Formula 1 championship which began in 1950. As the Role Call denotes: Eliska Junkova, “Helle Nice” and Kay Petre. Then after the War, when the modern era of Formula One (1950 to Present) began, a further quintuplet of Females made their respective mark’s: Maria Teresa de Filippis, Lella Lombardi, Divina Galica, Desire Wilson and Giovanna Amati, before Janet Gutherie and Lyn St James invaded The Speedway. As Guthrie first accomplished the feat some 33yrs ago!

And although Sarah Fisher has driven both an Indy Car and formula 1 chassis, interestingly Wilson has the dubious honour of being the only Femme Fatale to date to attempt qualifying for both a Grand Prix and the Indy 500 without making either... And thus, we fast forward nearly another two decades from adventures past the dawning of a new chapter in Motorsports, as we prepare to see a potential Quintet le Females race at the Speedway this May!

And amidst posting my initial thoughts upon the IRL’s “Everybody’s A Winner – Trophy cups galore!” It would be overly easy to Pontificate about creating Trophies for: Fill in the Blank here... Best Road Ringer, Best Oval Head, and Oldest Driver, (sponsored by Ovaltinne) Best Teeth, (sponsored by Crest) Snazziest Racing Boots... Hmm? I’m guessing that Danny Boy “Spike” Wheldon would win the last two; Oh Never Mind... Yooze gets duh idea while I digress...

Yet, it never fails, as I was reading a Cold Track Days post awhile ago about Der Deutch TourenWagon Masters (DTM) race at the Hockenheimring, where I accidently discovered in P11 the name Susie Stoddart! Hang on a moment, eh? You mean there’s another female racing Tin tops in Europe?

DTM Female Racing Drivers
Susie Stoddart: DTM 2006 – Present; Mercedes Benz
Katherine Legge: DTM 2008 – Present; Audi

And even better yet... Hey this ‘Juan’s too easy, eh? As DTM Debutant ‘DC (David Coulthard) found himself the meat in the sandwich of a Ménage à trois der Femmen Fraulein’s JA-JA! As Susie “Q” was P11, ‘DC 12th and Thy Leggy ‘Juan; Katarina Legge finished P13; Hya! As I still say its too coincidental that Susie’s last name is Stoddart which immediately makes me think of ex-Minardi F1 Team Boss “Aussie” Paul Stoddart... As in Good Day Mates! Err, was it good for uze ‘DC? And Poor ‘Ralfanzo, nee Herr Schumacher’s famous brother Ralf who misses out again by finishing ahead in P9...

Yet back to the Big Show this weekend in Indiana... Where Y’all gotta feel compelled for all of ‘Dem Females BESIDES Danica! As what does it take to replace a Wanderin’ Milka? Two Rookie Drivers... As in Simona-Simona ‘N ‘Bia! As once again AHEM! Simona de Silvestro (22nd) OUT-qualified ‘DannaWho... (P23) And this time on an Oval, which is supposedly Princess’s forte... Hey it’s NOT my Fault! Yet Ana Beatriz (21st) too qualified ahead of The Chosen ‘Juan, with only Sarah Fisher (P29) failing to make the Top 24 on Day 1.

As ‘Bia seeks to become a Full season competitor in the Big Carz ASAP, De Silvestro continues to shine for the Minnowesqe HVM Racing Operation and Sarah Fisher continues struggling mightily to keep her SFR Outfit afloat on its Shoestring budget which apparently took a big hit with Jay Howard’s Bump Day exit us!

And don’t forget ‘bout Pippa Mann, who just became the first Female ever to qualify on the Pole at Indianapolis, doing so for this year’s Indy Lights race, while after listening to an entertaining Autosport Radio Show interview with Carmen Jorda, was apparently given the weekend off in favour of Arie Luyendyk Jr.

So in the immortal words ‘O Eagles Front man Don Henley: GET OVER IT! (Danica) or more succinctly; Move along Doggie! As in why DON’T you just goes onto RASSCAR Full Time Yuhs Hear!

Now somebody pass me a Cheeseburger... And Good Luck Simona, Bia and Sarah!

Saturday, May 29, 2010

Follow Your Schnonz... Be Just like TK!

And NO! I DON’T mean like hittin’ duh Wall twice in one weekend... CRIKEYS! As now Y’all can be just like Tony Kanaan who recently”I- spied!” on that Mesopotamia of a Motorsports website, laughingly known as indycar.com... As first there was the iPhone, then next came the iTouch and now comes the iPad! AS I’ll spares Y’all over my never ending frustration with Technology, as in Gee – Thanks WICKEDpedia for changin’ to 4-dot font; SHEISA! Try reading ‘Dat when you’re a Visually Impaired ‘Vurd Botcherer... Aye Karumba! But I digress... As perhaps you’ll wanna be the first on the block, Err Brickyard’s Grandstands with your snazzy new fangled iPad... As I’m assuming they’re permitted in The Speedway? Mitch has just sent me the following “Testimonial” for a brand new App he’s promoting.



As I mentioned on Tuesday, I’m sending you some information about a terrific new way to keep up with IndyCar. As a tech partner of the Indy Racing League, my company, nomee, is now launching the IZOD IndyCar® Series iPad application. This link will open a browser that redirects to open iTunes to the download page for the FREE application.

Using this sleek new app, IndyCar fans can now get up-to-the-minute updates from the league and its top 30 drivers. All of their social streams, photos, videos, and comments are included in this one dashboard. Fans also have one-touch access to tandings, schedules, and race winners. All of the content can be viewed inside the iPad app, including streaming high-quality video and photos. It’s a fan’s ultimate IndyCar media center all in one place for FREE!

So all of Yooze TechnoHeads, check it out if so desired and tell TK Tomaso sent Yuhs...

Numerology RS1250 = Scuderia & N/H + Lotus Y50


Stirling Moss

Scuderia Ferrari

Mario Andretti

Interestingly this weekend sees three “Storied” Open Wheel Racing Marques celebrate a bit of History, as The Scuderia, nee Scuderia Ferrari is celebrating it’s 800th Formula 1 start at the Turkish Grand Prix, with Newman Haas Racing making its 450th Indy Car start appropriately at The Brickyard, while it was exactly 50yrs ago today that Sir Stirling Moss scored Lotus’s inaugural Grand Prix victory at Monaco...

Although I’d haveda say if I were a Betting Man; the Odds were in the Prancing Horse’s favour for victory this weekend over Newman Haas’s, eh? As it would be nice to see Felipe Massa rekindle some of his Istanbul magic this weekend, having previously scored a double Hat Trick victory from Pole Position for Maranello circa 2006-08...

To put these two Racing Teams accomplishments into perspective: Here’s a quick look at some numbers...

Team/Starts/Wins/Poles
Ferrari: 800; 211; 203.
McLaren: 672; 166; 145.
Williams: 526; 113; 125.
Newman/Haas: 450; 107; 109.

Ferrari reveal special 800 livery in Turkey

Newman/Haas turns 450 at the 500

Yet I must admit I most likely startled the neighbors when I forcefully clapped my hands and shouted out in glee over Fredrico Suave’s, a.k.a. Fred Alonso’s mistakes and failing to advance to theQ3 Final “Quallie” session this morning! While I’ll also assume that Mr. Hideki Mutoh theoretically will finish ahead of the Lotus Newboyz of Truli Scrumptious “N KOVY tomorrow, right?

Good Luck Felipe, Hideki and Heikki Kovalainen!

USGP: More Austin F1 Teasers

So Friday night on SPEED’s F1 Debrief, Bob Varsha interviewed Full Throttle Production’s “Front man” Tavo Hellmund, who I can say really didn’t divulge anything of significance... Although I have to say that at least he doesn’t seem to be as pompous as Simon Gillett was, as you may recall that Gillett was the man behind the failed Donnington Park F1 bid!

And I enjoyed hearing Hellmund call Herman tilke “Tilkie.” Saying that Tilkie ‘N The Boyz were gonna hopefully design a track with 90% of his wish list and that he’d hope it’d make the Drivers say they’ve gotta put their “Big Boyz” pants on when they enter the gates...

Tilke Designing $200m Austin Track

Meanwhile on Thursday it was revealed that the project is somewhat more down the Pipeline then divulged, with an apparent site having been chosen and Uncle Bernaughty’s Proprietary Track Designer Herman Tilke’s services having been rendered...

Track site, engineers secured, F1 group says
Yet from the BloggaRatzi’s resident Curmudgeon; Hmm? AIn’T ‘DAT ‘Ol Robin Miller’s title? Marc of the other full Throttle has poonded outs theeze following wurds ‘O wisedom... (OOPS! Meeze nucel’s gotz in duhs ways...)

Austin Grand Prix: “We’ve got the Funding”

As it seems that Messer Hellmund will be hard pressed to build the purpose built circuit to Uncle Bernaughty’s opulent standards for a mere $200m, unless this is do to the current economic plight and Texas’s Pro-Business stature, eh? As after all, the Chinese Government reputedly spent $300m some seven years ago in order to build the most expensive racetrack, the Shanghai International Circuit in order to host a round of the Formula One Circus beginning in 2004.

Yet if Tilke could incorporate The Parabolica, Eau Rouge and what has been nicknamed the “Diabolica,” the signature four apex corner of Turkey’s Istanbul Autodrome, then we’d have a “Cracking” circuit!

So it’ll be interesting to see if Mr. Hellmund ‘N Associates truly pull this major undertaking off which I sincerely hope they do for the sake of Formula 1’s credibility Stateside, eh?

Friday, May 28, 2010

INDYCAR: 2010 Rookie Class


This year’s Rookie IndyCar class is filled by 4 full time participants, 1 partial season, 1 potential competitor and 1 Indy Only competitor... As De Silvestro, Romancini and Sato will contest the entire 17 race schedule, with Baguette having come onboard for the entire season after missing the first two events. Howard currently has a 5 race deal while Beatriz makes only her second start at Indy and is in search of more races in the future. And Saavedra is a “One-off” for this year’s Indy as he hopes to capture the Indy Lights title this year in his sophomore season.

Bryan Herta AutosportSebastian Saavedra: Columbia (No. 29)
This 19yr old Columbian Teenager is currently contesting his second Indy Lights season after having finished as the rookie of the Year in 2009, finishing third overall and capturing two wins while driving for AFS/Andretti Green Racing. His first win came in only his fourth start on Kentucky’s Oval, with his second win coming on the Streets of Toronto.

Sebastian began his racing career in the traditional European manner of go Karting before moving up to Formula BMW Single Seaters in 2007. He has raced in a variety of Formula BMW Championships, including USA, Germany and Asia, along with capturing four victories. He also finished runner-up in the 2008 ATS Formel 3 Championship with three wins.

Currently Saavedra is part of ex-IndyCar Driver Bryan Herta’s two car Indy Lights Team, partnered with BRIT Stefan Wilson, hoping to contest for this year’s title along with graduating to the ‘BIG BOYZ in the future with BHA.

Conquest Racing
Mario Romancini: Brazil (No. 34)
This 22yr old Brazilian has had a very fast rise thru the ranks of Open Wheel Racing, having only begun his Single Seater career in the Brazilian Formula Renault series in 2006. The following year he was South American F3 series runner-up before graduating to World Series by Renault. (WSR)

For 2009 Mario switched to the Indy Lights Championship with Anderson Racing and in his fifth start from Pole, scored his maiden FIL victory on the Milwaukee Mile. Romancini took his second Oval track victory at the season finale in Homestead before bolting to the ‘BIG BOYZ for 2010. I’m sure it had to be very emotional for Mario to be making his Indy Car debut in his Hometown of Sao Paolo this past March.

Bertrand Baguette: Belgium (No. 36)
This 24yr old Belgian is the reigning World Series by Renault (WSR) Champion, having begun his climb up the Formula Renault ladder in 2004; progressing from their 1600cc category to the 2.0 Formulae before entering the top rung (3.5 liter) in 2007. Then in Twenty-oh-Nine Bertrand clinched the WSR Title by 57 points over current Lotus Racing F1 Test/Reserve Driver Fairuz Fauzy.

Baguette (whose name just gottas makes Yuhs Hunker for a Sandwich, eh?) was awarded Formula 1 Testing opportunities this past winter with Renault and BMW Sauber during the “Kindergardn F1” sessions and boldly stated he was 96% sure of claiming the second Sauber F1 seat which subsequently went to Pedro De la Rosa instead…

Baguette has since brought Royal Automobile Club of Belgium sponsorship in tow with him to Countryman Eric Bachelart’s Conquest Racing Team, making his Indy Car debut at Barber Motorsports Park in Alabama.

For an entertaining Q & A session with Messer Baguette, along with a video featuring both of the Conquest Drivers during the Long Beach weekend; See; Getting to Know Bertrand Baguette...

Dryer & Reinbold RacingAna Beatriz: Brazil (No. 25)
Also known as “Bia,” Ana “Bia” Beatriz Di Figueiredo is a 25yr old Brazilian who like Mario Romancini is also from Sao Paolo and she too had the honours of beginning her Indy Car career on her Hometown Streets of Sao Paolo earlier this year.

Bia also was the very first Female to ever win a Firestone Indy Lights Race when she took the chequered flag at Nashville Super Speedway in 2008, while finishing third overall in the series garnered her Rookie of the Year Honours. Bia returned for a Sophomore Indy Lights season with Sam Schmidt Motorsports and won her second Oval track race at Iowa, although funding issues beset her full season campaign. Beatriz is managed by former CART Racer Andre Ribero and Obviously; SNAP! Hopes to become a full time Indy Car Series racer in the near future...

Hmm? Perhaps she’ll replace Milka-licious in the future?

HVM Racing
Simona de Silvestro: Switzerland (No. 78)

What can I say about the 21yr old “Swiss Miss” which hasn’t already been said in the Blogosphere? Actually, Simona is of Italian-Swiss descent and now resides in the Valley of the Sun, like someone else named Princess Sparkle Pony...

De Silvestro began her Open Wheel Racing career by contesting the Italian Formula Renault series in 2005 before switching to the Formula BMW USA series in 2006. Next Simona moved up to what was once known as the Toyota Atlantics, making her series debut for somebody named Derrick Walker in ’07 before becoming ONLY the second Female to EVER win a series race by capturing the 2008 Long Beach event, joining the “Other Danicker...” As in the Champ Car World Series Dan-Dan-Danica... Better known as Katherine Legge, who sadly never got her chance to compete at The Speedway...

After her maiden Atlantics victory with Newman Wachs, De Silvestro became the storied Open Wheel Racing series All Time Female victor with the MOST wins (5) in the now apparently Defunct Atlantics Championship... Having captured a further four wins with Team Stargate Worlds along with Coming within a whisker of winning the Title last year before falling out in the Season Finale at Laguna Seca and winding up third in the final standings...

Hmm? Danica One win vs. Simona’s Five WINS! Oh Never Mind...

KV Racing Technology
Takuma Sato: Japan (No. 5)

The 33yr old Japanese “Rookie” hasn’t exactly had an easy introduction into the world of Indycarz... As this likeable Japanese Open Wheel Racing Star began his career in the not so traditional world of Bicycle racing before making the jump to Go Karts at the relatively late age of 19, before leaping into the All Japan Formula 3 series in 1998, but “Taku” then broke his contract at mid-season in order to pursue a racing career in Europe instead, finally settling upon competing in the British Formula 3 Championship. For the 2000 season Takuma finished third before claiming the title the following season and winning an impressive 16 races between 2000-01.

For 2002, Sato joined the Honda powered Jordan F1 Team and partnered Giancarlo Fisichella, whith his best result coming at Suzuka where he scored his inaugural Grand Prix points (2) with a popular fifth place finish.

For 2003 Taku-san moved to the BAR-Honda Team as its Test Driver before replacing the sacked Jacques Villeneuve “Just-in-Time” for the season ending Japanese GP where he finished sixth, before becoming Jenson Button’s teammate the following year. Ironically Sato garnered his only podium finish at the 2004 USGP at Indianapolis where he came home third, as ’04 was to be the High-water mark for the Team in all of its various BAR/Honda guises, finishing runner-up to Ferrari in the Constructor’s Championship.

After a dismal 2005, Sato was replaced by Rubens Barrichello in the new Honda “Works” Team, opting to race instead for Aguri Suzuki’s hastily set-up “B-Team” which was commonly known as “Super Best Friends,” nee Super Aguri, where Taku performed admirably from 2006-08 when the Team was shut down due to lack of finances... With Sato scoring the squad’s only Grand Prix points.

Unfortunately for 2009 Sato was unable to secure a ride before finally landing a seat at KV Racing Technology for this year’s IZOD IndyCar Series and is running perhaps the favourite chassis in the paddock, the classic green & gold Lotus Cosworth Engineering Dallara/Honda...

Sarah Fisher RacingJay Howard: Great Britain (No. 66)This 29yr old Briton made his initial trek Across the Pond some six years ago when he made his U.S. Formula Ford Zetec Series debut in the middle of 2004, capturing his first victory at Sebring. For 2005, Jay thoroughly decimated the field by winning nine events, including six in-a-row enroute to winning the Rookie of the Year and Series Championship.

For 2006, Sam Schmidt naturally opted for the Briton who rewarded Sam by winning the then Indy Pro Series on the back of two victories in his inaugural season.

Unable to catch the eye of any potential Indy Car Owner the following year, Jay took a three race gig in the Indy Pro Series before Marty Roth inked the Englishman to a ‘Big Boyz ride for the following season.

Unfortunately Jay’s Rookie season in IndyCars didn’t go exactly as planned, when Howard was abruptly dropped during the Month of May to make way for Paying Driver “Gentleman John” Andretti, whose one race deal mushroomed into several more races before Howard made his fourth and final start for Roth Racing at Watkins Glen in 2008.

Trying to rekindle his Open Wheel Racing career, Jay returned to what had now become the Indy Lights for 2009 with Start-up Team PBIR, before running into funding issues once again. Yet Jay has now landed a partial season ride with Sarah Fisher Racing, with five events currently on the 2010 calendar and potentially more.

Yet his 2010 campaign has gotten off to a somewhat shaky start, as Jay first crashed out at Kansas, which was the Team’s warm-up for this year’s Indy, where Jay failed to qualify upon the Team’s last minute decision to withdraw his time and hopefully re-bump his way into the field which he was unable to do.

Yet I’m confident that Third Time will be the Charm for this witty Englishman when he finally Cracks his Quallie Duck at The Speedway in 2011 during the 100th Anniversary; The Centennial Years - Part III...

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Don’t forget about the Indy Lights Freedom 100


(Pippa Mann, Sam Schmidt Motorsports)
While the spotlight has thus far shone brightly upon ‘The Big Boyz, nee Indy Car with what actually was a very enjoyable Qualifying weekend, which even had real Bumping, albeit only four cars and not the massive seven promised... Don’t forget that there are other events this week at The Brickyard, namely the Firestone Indy Lights centerpiece, the Freedom 100, as I DON’T have any interest in the FRILLIN’ Pitstop Challenge! Although I’m guessing that Classic Rocker’s ZZ Top will put on a great show as always...

And with the plight of Paul Tracy’s unceremonious failure to qualify for this year’s Indy 500, it’s somewhat ironic that ‘Ol PT was being crowned the Original Dayton) Indy Lights Champion 20yrs ago, eh? As Tracy wasn’t the only ex-Feeder series standout to miss the big dance, as two other past Champions named A.J. Foyt IV and Jay Howard didn’t make the cut either.

Yet past Indy Lights Alumni Ed Carpenter, Hideki Mutoh,
Alex Lloyd, Ana Beatriz, Rafael Matos, Sebastian Saavedra, Mario Romancini have all made the Big Dance.

But now onto this year’s event which I’m looking forward to watching on Versus, as I’m picking The Mayor of Hingetown to be in the Catbyrd’s seat and win the race... As you’ve gotta think that James Hinchcliffe has the upper hand upon the upstart Rookie J.K. Vernay, who I believe has never raced on an Oval... Although Arie Luyendyk Jr. is making a guest appearance with Anderson Racing, which could make things interesting, not to mention “S-Squared,” (Sebastian Saavedra) “Plowie,” (Martin Plowman) and Charlie Kimball, while I suppose Dan “Speedy-Dry” Clarke may have an outside shot? Or perhaps even Junior Strous? As apparently Joel Miller’s efforts failed and Ryan of Junior Open wheel Talent has just told me he’s focusing upon a later race date, while also informing me that Jeff Simmons is driving for Team E and Wade Cunningham is back with Sam Schmidt Motorsports... So it should be a good race like always, so check it out this Friday at 9:30AM PACIFIC on Versus...

Final Practice Times

UPDATE:
Great Britain’s Pippa Mann has just become the first Female Driver to ever win the Freedom 100 Indy Lights Pole Position...

Pippa Mann wins Pole Position for Freedom 100

Indy Car’s Next Wave?

Whale I don’t know ‘bout Y’all, but isn’t it interesting who some of the names of this year’s Indy Lights competition are? As in the plethora of ex-Champ Car Driver’s trying to presumably “Resurrect” their Open Wheel Racing careers...

As in the following ex-CCWS racers have competed in the series first three events: Dan “Speedy-Dry” Clarke, Jan “Van Hagar” Heyland and the NOT-So famous “Tk,” nee Tonis Kasemets , who reportedly is running in Indy Lights in order to springboard his way into the Indy Car Big boyz league; which I’d assume Gustavo Yacaman would disagree with at the moment.

Interestingly all three of these Drivers ran for dare I say it? Mid-pack Teams... Err, some may suggest even worse? As in they drove respectively for CTE-HVM, Dale Coyne and Paul Gentilozzi.

And although I’m certain that this year’s Indy Lights car count is below what the League’s Impresario Roger Bailey was hoping for... It’s an eclectic but talented group of International Drivers. And as always; just having a Top Ride, i.e.; Sam Schmidt Motorsports – Doesn’t always guarantee you immediate results, as one of the series two Femme Fatales Pippa Mann may begrudgingly attest too... Although I’m NOT trying to say anything bad about her and at least she hasn’t taken out her Teammate like the SSM Boyz’ James Winslow & Phillip Major “Tom” did at Long Beach!

There’s also venerable OWR Team Owner Derrick Walker trying to make his way back up the ranks, having first run the somewhat forgotten Jonathan Summerton and now having installed Speedy-Dry Clarke behind the Keyboard...

And while I’ll leave out Tonis Kasemets for the time being, recall he tried making a name for himself with the “Stellar” Rocketsports Racing Team in the dying dazes ‘O Chump Carz... While I’d like to see ‘Van Hagar Heyland resume racing with Team E ‘N Beyond...

But as I’ve chronicled before, even winning the Indy Lights Crown is NO guarantee of graduating to Indy Cars in the future, I mean just ask J.R. Hildebrand ‘bout that, eh? And without delving into the entire list of Indy Lights Champions which Ahem, was originally a byproduct of Championship Auto Racing Teams, nee CART... Let’s just pursue the Indy Pro Series to current Indy Lights Title winners instead...

2002) A.J. Foyt IV
2003) Mark Taylor
2004) Thiago Medeiros
2005) Wade Cunningham
2006) Jay Howard
2007) Alex Lloyd
2008) Rafael Matos
2009) J.R. Hildebrand

Where are these Boyz now? I mean “Quattro’s” (A.J. Foyt IV) is nearly invisible, Wade Cunningham is somewhere? Jay Howard is finally set to run some Indy Car races this year, (which will presumably go better then his abbreviated Marty Roth career!) while Alex Lloyd is just entering his very first Fulltime Season Gig with Dale Coyne’s boy Scouting affair...

Hmm? May be The Wanderin’ Milka could become an ICS Team Owner and hire some of these guys to be her Bread ‘N Butter Drivers, while Milka-licious could still pilot a third MDR chassis at The Speedway...

Oh, and I’m sure Mr. Chrome Horn doesn’t want to be reminded that it was 20 years ago that he won his Lights Championship, eh?

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

USGP: Can Austin pull off a Permanent Grand Prix?


So as I mentioned yesterday, I for ‘Juan was shocked by the surprise announcement of Uncle Bernaughty selecting Austin, Texas as the site of the new USGP beginning in 2012... As after all, I’d just listened to Ye ‘Ol Windbag Dave Despain pester guest co-host Jeff Gordon a mere 36hrs earlier over his alleged ties to the Monticello Motor Club in upstate New York, along with it’s reputedly “leaked” letter inquiring Messer Bernard Ecclestone upon the possibility of landing a future F1 race there. This coupled with the fact that Emperor Bernardo’s sole track design guru Herman Tilke had visited the premises... To which at least Jeff Gordon gave an honest assessment of by stating that the proposed venue would need a lot of major improvements; track & infrastructure-wise... As this all played out on the Sunday night airing of Wind Tunnel at 7PM ET; Thus, I DON’T believe anybody saw this coming, besides the Key Players, who amazingly kept a pretty tight lid upon this news, eh? As reportedly even the Mayor of Austin wasn’t aware of it until the announcement! So, as Marc of the “other” Full Throttle sez; Bernie gave the ultimate head fake!

And believe me; I for one definitely wanna see this happen... Yet isn’t it strange how first RASSCAR hosts their Hall of Fame Grand Opening on Bump Day and then Bernie launches his shocker just prior to the upcoming Indy 500...

As I for one feel this scenario has a bit of a Donnington Park feeling to it, especially since there hasn’t been any property purchased, Edward “The Goose” Gossage is telling anyone who’ll listen his Texas Motor Speedway cost $250 million to complete way back in 1996 and the managing Director of Full Throttle Productions Tavo Hellmund is a RASSCAR Promoter per sei; YIKES!

But you’ve gotta like his ‘Dig, Err Quip towards Texas:
"Austin is more of an F1 crowd than a NASCAR crowd."
Full Throttle Productions LP promotes races at Thunder Hill Raceway, just 20mins outside Austin and Hellmund has competed in various forms of racing.

Joe Saward:
“Hellmund (39) has been a moderately successful driver in various local NASCAR series. He is the son of Tavo Hellmund, the promoter of the original CART races in Mexico City in the early 1980s. He raced in British Formula Ford and other European open wheel feeder series in the early 1990s (often in cars sponsored by Central TX auto dealers.”

Yet according to Marc, Austin averages 90f degrees in June, as Y’all would assume that any USGP would be “bundled” with the Canadian GP which is being held on June 13th this year. Then again, can Y’all say Humidity? As I vividly recall sweltering at Indy during July, 2006’s USGP which was a balmy 97f; SHEISA!

Is Formula One coming to Austin?

More Monaco Madness

Otay, perhaps I’m giving this way too much attention, eh? Especially now with the “Shock” news over Austin, Texas landing the USGP beginning in 2012... But I do find it amusing how much controversy Rubens Barrichello ‘N former Scuderia Sparring Partner Herr Schumacher caused during the somewhat Anticlimactic Monaco GP, albeit four Safety Cars and a loose Drain cover kept it entertaining, not to mention the NOT-So ‘Scrumptious ‘Juan, nee Jarno Trulli’s Brain fade in the races closing laps, which in turn provided the setting for DER TERMINATOR (M. Schumacher) to pounce upon Bosom Buddy Fred Alonso...

Karun Chandhok: “I ducked and it went over my head…”

Thus here’s two entertaining pieces from James Allen, one upon the current iteration of F1 Steering apparatus, along with his latest Technical insights.

Secrets of an F1 Steering wheel


James Allen: F1 Tech - Monaco

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Texas eyes focus upon 2012 USGP!

DAMN YOU ‘DAWG! Although I did read Grizzled F1 Journo Joe Saward’s Grand Prix Blog this morning, nevertheless I didn’t peruse it later in the day when the BIG news broke about Austin, Texas having been awarded the USGP beginning in 2012 for 10yrs running thru 2021... As this is just shocking to Mwah! As I’d never even considered Texas alone, or especially Austin as the future sight of a purpose built Formula 1 Racetrack; Aye Karumba!

Having been to Austin now just over two years ago, I’m certainly curious where this track will be built? Along with what the race date will be, as it was BLOODY warm when I went in mid-March, so I cannot imagine the temperature if it coincides with the Canadian GP? Which is slated for June 13th this year, as Y’all can read pressdog’s scoop here:

Autosport.com: F1 Returning to US in 2012 with Austin, TX Race

Monday, May 24, 2010

Tracy’s Trauma’s


"I knew I couldn't outdrive Sarah, Ana, Simona, or Danica. Hell, I barely beat Milka!"

All joking aside... I just read that ‘Ol PT’s Numero Uno Fan from Up North Eh is busy drownding her sorrows... Over the fact that Mr. Chrome Horn will not be taking part in this year’s Indy 500, which does seem a travesty to Mwah, although I’m not sure if I’d like to see him ‘N KVRT pull a Conquest/Tagliani a la last May. I mean which of KVRT’s Driver’s would you unceremoniously pull? So I like Meesh’s idea better... As in putting The Thrill from the West Hill in a Dallara/Honda for Watkins Glen as a tune-up for Team Oh Canada’s two Home events; Toronto and Edmonton, which I’m hopefully gonna make the latter of in order to see Paul Tracy run ‘Juan last time, eh? Before hopefully he’ll make the 100th Anniversary Round 2 party next May!

And today marked the return to the Indiana Airwaves of JMV; NO! Not that JMV, the other JMV as in John Michael Vincent who thankfully takes over the Krabitz ‘N Eddie Radio Show with 1070 The Fan’s “The Ride” from 3-7PM Eastern. Although it was pretty funny to hear them play his old The Drive theme intro at the top of the hour whilst I was waiting for Indy Car Soothsayer guest Robin Miller, as I missed JMV’s interview with Tracy, where he claimed he’s never heard the KuhNuck so despondent, albeit less then 24hrs after his Nightmare... To which Miller interjected about the guile ‘O cruelty as PT was in Toronto today promoting the Indy 500; ZOINKS!

And I knew Tracy was in trouble when he responded to the Hippy Dippy Weatherman, a.k.a. Mr. BRUT Arute Arute regarding his custom ’64 Hot Rod Lincoln that he’d drug all the way out from Los Wages, that perhaps he should try running it instead to make the field! CRIKEYS!

WE MISS YUHS ‘PT!

And now the I500 Field is Set


So I’d have to admit that it was a pretty entertaining weekend at The Speedway and that the new Top 9 Shootout format actually seems pretty good to me, especially since it seemed like the whole days activities were compressed, thus in turn giving us continuous action upon the race track.

And there definitely were countless “Storylines,” eh? As I’m still a bit surprised that Paul Tracy didn’t make the cut, even more surprised that he was the only one of KV Racing Technologies four Drivers having his dance card punched... As I’m guessing that Kevin ‘N Jimmy aren’t exactly pleased with their repair bills, as three Drivers crashed cars along with two Gearbox malfunctions during Qualifying runs.

Not to mention the multiple tribulations of ‘TK, as I’ll skip joking ‘bout his nose getting in the way... Butt! Kanaan certainly didn’t have the sort of weekend he was expecting, having crashed two days in a row in nearly the same spot before gutting out a late afternoon qualifying attempt to wind-up in P32!

Or how about “S-Squared” (Sebastian Saavedra) making the race even after having crashed Bryan Herta Autosport’s lone Racecar while sitting On The Bubble; before PT ‘N Jay “Funnyman” Howard both withdrew their times and ultimately took themselves out of this year’s Indy 500. Then in the Post-Qualifying wrap-up Messer Herta got in the best Quip of the Day by referring to his Minnowesqe BHA Team as Two Men and a Truck Racing; Hya!

And as much as I’m impressed by TAG’s performance all last week and in Saturday’s action, I’m GASP! Even more impressed by Bruno “Ice-Ice, Baby!” Junqueira’s performance on Sunday, as Junky simply ran around for a mere six laps then went out in oppressive heat and uncorked a masterful 4-lap run of 225.662 mph... Which, Ahem! Was FASTER then You-know-who’s time; being fastest of the day! So way to go Bruno...

Not to mention Conquest Racing’s two Newboyz making the race, as somewhere on the Blogosphere I read that neither would make the grade this weekend, although I myself only got 1 of 3 picks correct, as Milka-licious was probably a Slam Dunk, eh? Although I did say SFR, just not Jay, but his boss Sarah instead...

So now we anxiously await the 94th Running of the Indy 500, where Alex Tagliani in P5 is the highest placed NON-Big 3 entity and seemingly is the only outside opposition to another red car winning, i.e.; Penske or Ganassi... OOPS! That’s right, the Penske’s are NO longer in those traditional BAD HABITS colours... And The Graminator sez DON’T forget ‘bout me, while I’d personally enjoy seeing Alex Tagliani, or Davey Hamilton, Ed Carpenter or Tony Kanaan drink the milk on Sunday, with Simona-Simona taking Rookie of The Year Honours...

Team-by-Team
(3) Team PenskeNot overly shocking that The Captain once again won the Pole, P2 & P4, narrowly missing out on another Front row sweep, and I’m picking Will Power to steal the borg Warner Trophy away from HULIO...

(2) Chip Ganassi
Did ‘Cheep show his true colours by accusing Roger of playing Dirty Pool in the dying moments of the Top 9 Shootout, where his two Drivers wound up P3 & P6.

(2) FAZZT Race TeamThis is my Cinderella Team for the Month of May, as ‘TAG was impressive all week prior to Pole Day Qualifying, being the Top NON-Big 3 runner with added second car entry Bruno simply amazing with his Sunday heroics, with the fastest speed of Day 2. Tagliani starts P5 & Junqueira rolls off P25.

(1) Rahal-Letterman
Father Bobby ‘N Son Graham unite in a “One-Off” effort that sees the “Graminator” garner the Kardashian’s a Top 9 Shootout position with the Son ‘O Stash in P7.

(2) PantherSurprisingly the Team’s mainstay, its lead driver Danny Boy “Spike” Wheldon got his ARSE kicked by “Indy Only” partner Ed Carpenter in the “Fuzzy Wuzzy” (Zellar) Drinks Car with an excellent 8th place run, while Weldon rolls off P18.

(1) Newman HaasThis once mighty Racing Team was unable to put together a last minute deal to run Oriel Servia alongside Hideki Mutoh who did a very good job for the faltering Team by claiming P9 on Saturday.

(1) Sam Schmidt/CGR
This pseudo Third Chip Ganassi ride in cahoots with Sam Schmidt saw Townsend Bell put in another strong performance, just missing out upon the Top 9 Shootout, after having not driven since last May and will start in P10.

(4) Dryer & ReinboldTied for runner-up with most Cars entered and second-most in the Race, Team leader Justin “BIG UNIT” Wilson was the fastest of DRR’s four runners, which included one Female Rookie. Wilson starts P11, Mike Conway P15, Tomas Scheckter P20 and Ana Beatriz P21.

(2) De Ferran Dragon
This single Car Team added perennial Oval Driver Davey Hamilton to its lineup for a three Race effort, but it was the Team’s Fulltime Driver “Rafa” who came out on top, as Rafael Matos starts P12 and Hamilton P14.

(3) KVRTObviously the most disappointing aspect to this Team’s Indy outing whas that “Mega” Fan Favourite Paul Tracy did NOT make the show... As Mario Moraes was the quickest of the squad’s remaining three cars, E.J. Viso was pretty quiet and Rookie Takuma Sato snuck in late afternoon Sunday. Moraes rolls off P13, Viso P19 and Sato P31.

(5) Michael AndrettiThis Powerhouse Team had arguably one of the toughest outings during this week’s qualifying, as Team Owner Mikey said; “We’re 40% good, 40% not-so-good and 20% bad.” As Team leader Tony Kanaan struggled mightily by crashing a Dallara apiece each day! Thus surprisingly Marco Andretti was the quickest AA Racecar, landing in P16, with Ryan Hunter-Reay P17. Danica “It’s NOT my Fault” Patrick wound-up P23, John Andretti starts P28 and TK is on Row 11 in P32.

(1) HVMThis ‘lil One Car Team just keeps impressing, as Rookie Simona de Silvestro once again starts AHEAD of ‘DannaWho, with Simona rolling off from the inside of row 8 in P22.

(2) Conquest
Great performance from another Minnowesqe Team, as Eric Bachelart’s squad of Rookie Driver’s both made the cut, with Bertrand Baguette P24 and Mario Romancini P27.

(1) Dale CoyneThe little Team that could was unable to get Fan Darling Milka-licious into the Big Show this year, as Duno was simply off the pace... While the Team’s “Second” Driver Alex Lloyd makes his third I500 by rolling off in P26.

(1) Sarah Fisher
While it seemingly was Team Boss Sarah Fisher struggling to find speed all week long, with teammate Jay Howard quicker, it wasn’t to be upon withdrawing Howard at the final moment, as he was the last Racecar on track but unable to “BOOMP” his way back into the 500 and hence Fisher will start P29 while Howard once again is left scratching his head...

(1) A.J. Foyt
After Grandson “Quattro” told ‘Super Tex his Dallara was a PIG, the elder Foyt sent him packing and replaced him with Jacques Laizier on Sunday morning, all for naught, as just Vitor Meira made the field in P30 for Foyt’s Racing Team this May.

(1) “Two Men ‘N a Truck” Racing (BHA)
Best Quip of the weekend from Indy 500 Debutant Team Owner Bryan Herta, as his Rookie Driver crashed their lone Dallara at 4:50PM ET in an effort to protect his vulnerable Bump speed. Yet with Conquest, KVRT and SFR all withdrawing faster Racecar’s, Sebastian Saavedra got the news from Methodist Hospital that he’d made the show in P33!

2010 Indy 500 Starting Lineup

KEY
(X) = Number of Team Car’s entered in Race.

Sunday, May 23, 2010

”IT’S NOT MY FAULT,” HONEST!


That Versus or ABC/ESPN CANNOT say a single Disparaging word towards Princess Perma Pout; it’s NOT my fault that I didn’t take the garbage out; it’s NOT my fault that TK crashed NOT one but two Racecar’s in almost the exactly same spot; it’s NOT my fault that I forgot to pay the rent; it’s NOT my fault that Bruno Junqueira qualified FASTER then Danica Patrick in a car that he’d only practiced six laps in... It’s NOT my fault that I was going 43mph over the speed limit, honest Ossifer! (Just ask Takuma Sato ‘bout that...) Nor is it MY fault that I didn’t let the dog out; it’s NOT my fault that I didn’t put any gasoline in the car; it’s NOT my fault that Ed Carpenter ‘N Hideki Mutoh made the Top 9 Shootout; it’s NOT my fault that you’re still reading this silly rant about how CHILDISH ‘DannaWho acted yesterday, whilst it’s NOT my fault that Princess Sparkle Pony has been drinkin’ the RASSCAR Koolaid and subscribing to the ‘Lil Ironhead School ‘O Philosophy, or that ‘DannaCar goes to bed every night with ‘Ol DW tellin’ her she’s the Greatest... And it’s certainly NOT my fault that Dan-Dan-Danicker decided to throw her Andretti Autosport Team “Under the Bus” during yesterday’s qualifying...

As I only wunder why it took so long for everybody to finally BOO her!

Meanwhile another Female who’s got nothing but style, grace ‘N class went quietly about her business of qualifying her Racecar, the oldest steed on the grid, a.k.a. Old Faithful, as Sarah Fisher just posted her fastest lap of the Month of May. So like ALWAYS, I’ll be rootin’ for the No. 67 Dollar General car next Sunday... Whale actually for about 30 cars besides You-know-who!

Saturday, May 22, 2010

“NOTTSOE” FAST FRIDAY

So I actually broke down ‘N tuned into the Versus Fast Friday coverage which was interrupted multiple times by some WET stuff... As there really weren’t any shockers, other then ‘TAG and NOT TAGS (Tagliani) continues to impress with another stout running to third place at 226.153mph.

Meanwhile on the other end of the spectrum, is Sarah Fisher, who was NONE too happy with her lowly 34th place upon the speed charts with a lap of 222.533mph. Although it always amuses me how in the HELL 222mph is SLOW, eh? While teammate Jay Howard ended the day in P29 at 224.017mph.

Nevertheless, the SFR Crew is scratching their collective Heads over The Bosses perceived lack of speed... to which all I can say is it seems somewhat obvious to me, as I actually got Don Kay of Autosport Radio to ask this past Tuesday nights guest Jay “Funnyman” Howard a few questions upon this. As Jay replied that both he and Sarah had one Old and one New Dallara chassis apiece and that Sarah was in what she’s calling “Old Faithful.” This would inturn be the 2003-spec Dallara chassis which I recall is the oldest chassis on the grid...

Thus I’d hazard to guess it’s got a number of shortcomings, albeit I’m NOT trying to imply there’s anything wrong with the Dallara’s. Just that it’s probably the heaviest car on the grid, not to mention possibly being the most used? Or at least the oldest which would imply the most stressed or flexible chassis on the grid...

Although Howard was unwilling to comment upon my question about the mysterious SFR “Cracked Tub” chassis that Graham Rahal complained about; just saying I don’t know anything ‘bout that... I just worry about my own car. To which I’d assume is of a newer age, although I don’t know if it’s the same car that he crashed at Kansas?

Another thought is perhaps with a 2003 Racecar and SFR’s apparent “Shoestring” budget, this car is totally obsolete when it comes to development bits? As I’d assume it doesn’t have the “Trick” third damper that Penske was accused of having an “Unfair Advantage” with a few races ago... To which all I can say is this is old news to me, since I seem to recall Penske doing the same thing back in the CART/Champ Car Days...

So why all this conjecture over Sarah Fisher Racing Cars? Whale simply because we wanna see her make this year’s I500 field and you’ve always gotta root for the Minnowesqe Teams, right? So good luck this weekend Sarah & Jay!

OH MY GAWD! Just noticed that even the Wanderin’ Milka (Duno) was faster then Sarah, as Milka-licious was P33 with a speed of 223.344mph; Aye Karumba! Then again I DON’T expect ‘BIA, nee Ana Beatriz to be on the outside looking in come Sunday.

Yet, DON’T be overly shocked if Danny B’s favourite Female Driver Milka-licious doesn’t make the cut for Indy this year... As perhaps even Sarah Fisher will miss out? And I’d expect Rookie “S-Squared” (Sebastian Saavedra) to miss the cut as there’ll potentially be four Drivers going home this month when ‘TAG’s Wingman Bruno Junqueira blasts his way into the field on Sunday. Not to mention how the unexpectedly warm weather will impact Drivers/Teams the next two days, eh?

Shorter schedule and new format for Indy 500 qualifying
Wouldn’t it be Scandalous if Princess Perma Pout, nee ‘DannaWho actually got BUMPED outta the field...

Friday, May 21, 2010

Tagliani ‘N Tracy: Oh Brother!


NO! They haven’t resumed there now infamous San Jose Dust-up... Actually its just the opposite, as the two “KuhNuck’s” are forming a North of the Border Alliance which sees Alex Tagliani and Paul Tracy joining forces to promote their upcoming home race at Edmonton later this summer in the just announced (Team) Oh Canada promotion, which will see both ‘TAG ‘N PT’s Racecar’s carry Honda Indy Edmonton decals beginning at Indianapolis and following up to the second and final Canadian Indy Car race on July 25th. You can read the long winded Press Release here:

Tagliani and Tracy join forces for Team Oh Canada

In other Kuhnaidiun News, Thursday’s USA Today ran a story about Mr. Chrome Horn being reunited with Barry Green for this Month ‘O May’s festivities at The Speedway, as the duo reportedly still have some unfinished business to take care of, eh? Hmm? Is it 2002 again? Oh Never Mind...

Indianapolis 500 dream reunites Paul Tracy with Barry Green

Look for both Tracy & Tagliani to potentially spoil the Big 3’s Top 9 Pole Shootout tomorrow... Whale, it could happen, eh?

Curry flavoured ‘Truckin

NO! I'll skip the jokes 'bout Tastes like Chicken!

WTF? As I was settin’ up the ‘Ol Memorex recordin’ device this morning, the soothing high pitched screechiness of Mikey “Aw Shucks” Waltrip’s voice could be heard dronin’ on ‘bout the RASSCAR Pickem-Up Trucks poundin’ round Charlotte in what appeared to be live Practice coverage on SPEED... Thus it was totally by accident that I “lucked” into an interview with ex-Formula 1 Indian Driver Narain Karthikeyan, WHAT THE HELL? As the wide eyed Indian was telling his interviewer that they were currently puttin’ a new lump in his Truck... As apparently I’ve missed the Memo upon Karthikeyan’s crossover to Pickem-Up racing.

Narain Karthikeyan is growing NASCAR fans in India

Thus, there’ll now be two unemployed Formula 1 Piloto’s in this weekend’s Camping World Thunder from North Carolina, as Karthikeyan
Will be joined by Nelson “Pickett” Junior, a.k.a. NielsonHo Piquet Jnr. Who’s probably reveling in the news that Italian Police have seized the HMS Briatore, Err Force Blue, the luxury liner owned by his ex-Renault F1 Boss Flavour Flav at sea off La Spezia, Italy, as Briatore is being investigated for Tax Evasion and Smuggling...

Flavio Briatore's boat seized

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Fast Friday, BSA ‘N Stuff


(Photo courtesy of Dale Coyne Racing)

So in case you were unawares, Dale Coyne Racing has just unveiled Alex Lloyd’s Boy Scouts of America 100th Anniversary livery for this year’s Indy 500, as the No. 19 Dallara/Honda/Firestone entry will feature this white ‘N gold paint scheme.

Alex Lloyd“This is amazing to be a part of history, and driving the 100th Anniversary car in this year’s Indy 500. . . . In my wildest dreams, I would never have imagined from when I was a Scout in England 15 years ago, that I would be driving the Boy Scouts of America IndyCar, let alone during the BSA’s 100th Anniversary.”

Hmm? Why does the “Handle” BSA make me think of a long forgotten Motorcycle?

Fast Friday
For those of you Indy Car Diehards... You may wanna set them recordin’ devices to catch the Fast Friday action on Versus; 12:30-2PM. They’ll also be covering this weekend’s riveting Qualifying action with Monster Airtime; 8AM-3:30PM Saturday & 9AM-3:30PM Sunday, as I for one WON’T be bothering to try listening to the IMS Radio Network via Indycar.com this weekend...

ALL TIMES PACIFIC – ALWAYS CHECK YOUR LOCAL LISTINGS!
And yeah, its only practice, so I don’t know whose getting the proverbial “Tow” around the Speedway, etc, as SHOCKING! Scott Dixon has been the Fastest Man on track the last two days... Although I have to say ‘TAG, nee Alex Tagliani has been looking good, especially whilst fighting a lingering case of Bronchitis; and how ‘bout that Hideki Mutoh, eh?

Day 5 Practice Results

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Tracy’s Day job


Although I’m NOT a fan of RACER magazine and cancelled my subscription after it’s writer Jeff Olsen BLASTED the Bloggaratzi back in 2008, by claiming that us ‘Vurd Botcherer’s are just a bunch ‘O knucel poondin’ hacks; See Beauty ‘N the Beast...

Nevertheless, that veritable Flamethrower ‘O Barbed comments, colourful sound bites, outspoken and never shy to speak his mind, affectionately known as the Thrill from the West Hill or Mr. Chrome Horn, nee Paul Tracy is once again going “live” via RACER.com, which claims that PT is actually going Digital in this 12pg spread.

Paul Tracy and RACER go Digital
Not to mention as per last May, Tracy will be penning his thoughts in his RACER Blog, of which I’m certain that Meesh is reading each ‘N every word of daily, right? Which you can peruse by visiting,

Paul Tracy’s Indy blog

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Mount St Helens – 30yrs after


While Iceland’s Eyjafjoel Volcano is currently all the rage, pun intended... As I luckily escaped the continuing Mesopotamia the never ending Ash plumes are reeking upon European Air travel... As your Humble scribe’s first two flights from Stockholm and Rekevik were cancelled Friday, and then returning via London’s WACKO Heathrow Airport, I was informed that both it and Gatwick were closed once again Sunday, due to you guessed it!

Yet exactly thirty years ago today at 8:32AM Pacific, Washington’s Mount Saint Helens had a massive eruption of its own

Killing 57 people and removing 1,042 feet of the mountain’s dome along with creating a 1.0 mile Horseshoe crater which still exists today! And like most people, whom can recall exactly where they were during some of History’s oddest moments, your Humble Scribe can still recall exactly where I was when Saint Helens blew... As I felt the Volcano’s eruption all the way north in the San Juan Islands while casually commenting to my classmates; Uh Duh! The Mountain just blew... Without actually knowing this!

And I also recall that my “Padre,” who later went over to a Jobsite in Eastern Washington brought us all home samples of the volcanic ash that had blanketed everything which I kept in a clear plastic vile for several years before I think I finally tossed it...

The future of Mount St. Helens 30 years later

Speedway drizzle

Let it Rain Let it Rain Let it Rain!
,
As I have to say, I’m really NOT too horribly excited about this year’s Indy 500... And I rather enjoyed the “CAM WOW’s” post ‘bout how Kansas = Fail! As in do we really expect anyone outside of “The Big 3” (Penske, Ganassi or Andretti) to win the 94th running of the Great Spectale?

Yet I’ve just received an updated entry list to this year’s Indy 500 which has now been whittled down to 75 entries, while I’ve also read somewhere that another two cars could go by the waysides? As there appears to be some questions over funding for FAZZT’s second entry for Bruno Junqueira?

Apparently A.J. Foyt’s third entry, the No. 16 has been scrubbed along with AFS Racing’s No. 27, while Rahal Letterman Racing has dropped its No. 17 and replaced it with the No. 30 entry for Graham Rahal, with Team 3G’s No. 98 now being the only ride still available...

Chassis-Chassis, On the Wall
Which of our Dallara Chassis are the fairest of all? As this seems to be getting a bunch ‘O attention upon Andretti Autosport’s TK, nee Tony Kanaan having gone out and tested all four of AA’s chassis at Indy the other day...

And reputedly Sarah Fisher has opted for running her 2003-spec Dallara vs. her 2009 mount at Indy this year... As I can only speculate that perhaps the ’09 chassis which was a gift from Hartman Oil last year was the car driven by Graham Rahal and is indeed damaged or may be it really does have a cracked tub? although her Main-man Andy O'Gara claimed "Publicly" that it doesn't and simply was a variation in build that was causing the problem...

Thus this makes me believe there’s NO such thing as two Identical Racecar chassis, even if built in tandem on the same Assembly line. So, it’ll be interesting to hear if Don Kay asks Jay “Funnyman” Howard ‘bout this tonight on Autosport Radio? As Team Penske’s Tim Cindric and Howard are the scheduled guests.

Then again perhaps it’s simply just like wearin' an old pair of comfortable blue jeans vs. breaking a new pair in, eh?

Sam Schmidt’s Vision?
Perhaps Y’all have heard via the IndyStar that reportedly Sam Schmidt is in the midst of negotiations to acquire Citizen Tony’s (George) Vision Racing’s 32,000sq ft Indiana facility along with their Dallara chassis... And if conditions are right, Schmidt would potentially enter the Big Leagues, i.e.; Indy Car in the near future, say 2011 perhaps? As the plan acquisition is slated for completion this August and I hope it happens! As Sam seems to be one of the “Good Guys” and runs a first rate operation, as it would be good to see some new blood move up to the Big Boyz, especially a Powerhouse Indy Lights Team...

Did Rubens hit Drain cover in Monaco?


Rubens Barrichello (DNF, Accident):
"What happened today was a real surprise. I had such a good start but the car started to feel really strange after the pitstop. The steering wheel, in particular, didn't feel normal. The problem continued to get worse and then I crashed. We now have to investigate the car to find out what the problem was."
(Source: grandprix.com)

Yesterday I scribbled ‘bout Rubino, a.k.a Rubens Barrichello uncharacteristic steering wheel toss during the Monaco Grand Prix... Which I’ve since read is worth more like $50,000 then the paltry $10k mentioned during the Broadcast. As I’ve also read that Rubens was simply throwing it away in his mad scramble to get out of the cockpit as his Williams FW32 was apparently on fire...

Now Adam Cooper has an interesting angle upon the incident on his F1 Blog which seems to give pretty good insight into the suspected cause of Barrichello’s accident, as apparently he managed to pull up a loose drain cover whilst trying to “Shave” the Armco barriers around the Principality... So you might want to check it out...

Did loose drain cover contribute to Barrichello’s crash?

Monday, May 17, 2010

MunNocquoe Madness

Whale I don’t know ‘bout Y’all, but I found Sunday’s Monaco Grand Prix to be a bit Anticlimactic... Especially since the Pole winner led Wire-to-Wire, which according to SPEED’s Bob Varsha, the venerable Principalities victory has come from the grid’s first three starting spots in an astounding 46 of 56 events prior to this year’s race, and now is 47 out of 57!

Yet it wasn’t Red Bull’s perceived No. 1 MASTER ‘ZEBB, (Vettel) instead it was the red hot Aussie Mark Webber, who’s on quite the role as of late having won the past two Grand Prix’s from P1, not to mention becoming the first Aussie to win at Monte Carlo since some guy named Blackjack, nee Sir Jack Brabham did so in a Cooper Climax-T51 some 51 years ago...

’Dirtmann Helmet Toss Award
All I could think of was Robby “Dirtmann” Gordon’s infamous helmet toss at Mikey “Aw Shucks” Waltrip way back in the Dayzes ‘O RASSCAR when the two perennial “legends” had a coming together of sorts... While ‘Rubino, a.k.a. Rubens Barrichello displayed a most unusual fit ‘O rage during the F1 race in the Principality by tossing his wrecked Williams Racecar’s steering yoke at an unsuspecting “KC,” nee Karun Chandhok, who had a nasty scare in the races closing stages after unexpectedly “Hoovering” up the mangled electronic gizmo earlier in the race... This said gizmo is better known as a steering wheel in Formula 1, which apparently the price has dropped upon? As it was claimed to be only a $10,000 item compared to when The Kimster, nee Kimi Raikkonen, whose 200 foot luxury liner was in the Monte Carlo harbour this weekend flew into a fit ‘O angst during his McLaren Days and threw his reputed $30k+ steering wheel against the Team’s Pit garage wall!

Yet in Rubino’s defense he didn’t throw the steering wheel at any Grand Prix Piloto, simply in disgust with his FW32’s apparent mechanical failure after having run as high as sixth place.

WhineyBags” Winner
This coveted(?) Award once again goes to “Louise JAGUAR” Hamilton, who once again was caught WHINNEYING to his Engineer over having been told to please conserve his brakes. Yet, I have to admit its getting a bit old and a bit curious why the Media or Team’s trying to take him down a peg, eh?

Pen Pals?
All I could do was LOL over the fact that DER TERMINATOR, nee Michael Schumacher passed Arch-nemesis “Ferdi-the-Putz,” a.k.a. Fernando Alonso for P6 on the final lap under the Safety Car and presumably trying to send a message to the Scuderia, his former employer along with Alonso whom I’m guessing there’s NO great LUV-LOSS between?

And Varsha was quick to point out that the ex-Formula 1 Driver serving with the Race Stewards this weekend happened to be none other them some ex-rival named Damon Hill... Which is simply one more of life’s multiple ironies, eh? As I’m certain that Messer Hill dutifully upheld his position as they simply carried out the letter of the FIA law which clearly stated that NO passing was to occur in this situation, which I’m 173% certain that Michael Schumacher was totally aware of, as its good to see he’s quickly shedding the rust from his three year sabbatical!

SPEED SNUBS F1
So I sat there in mild agitation as Bob Varsha dryly noted that due to “Time Constraints” they’d be forced to NOT show the Post Race (TV Unilateral) interviews as they must simply move onto RASSCAR RaceDay; SHEISA! Uze Son’ O Bitches... WTF! I guess RASSCAR really DOES rule the Motor Racing world, eh? But don’t worry; we’ll have “extensive” coverage on the upcoming TSR (The Speed Report) tonight... Yeah right, sure Yuhs will ‘N I’ve got an USGP race venue to sell Yuhs! F%%K!

And thus, welcome back to the same ‘Ol never ending short nosehairs of the 800lb Gorilla happily known as RASSCAR...

Attention ALL Planets of the Solar Federation...
WE HAVE ASSUMED CONTROL!
(RUSH: 2112, Grand Finale; 1976)

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Back from Sweden


Whale that certainly was a fun trip, as your Humble Scribe has sadly returned from the Land of Blondes; (Pressdog!) Hya-hya-hya! A.k.a. Sweden; Ya-Sure-Yuh-Betcha...

Ok, so I’m mixing my metaphor’s here, eh? As that’s actually a knotso clever takeoff of an Old Favourite Northwest Brew named Ballard Bitter, a Semi Nordic area of Seattle...

Anyway’s I’m back and now have to clear my head of the Dreaded ‘JET RAGG! Not to mention trying to play Ketsup on Ze ‘Vurld der Motersporten; Ja-Ja! As I have absolutely NO idea who won the Spanish GP... Whale actually I do; SHEISA! But hopefully it’s all awaitin’ Meeze on le Memorex, eh? As tomorrow I’ll try watching both the GP2 ‘N Monaco GP before then trying to watch the Spanish GP Practice, Qualifying and Race coverage, not to mention trying to find out what’s going on at someplace on 16th & Georgetown, nee The Speedway... CRIKEYS! Makes me tired just writing ‘bout it... And that’s before even trying to scribble some very entertaining trip notes; Hya!

Off to watch today’s Monn Nocquoe “Qualie” session, Heydo!

Warming up the “Barbie?”

So even though I know better... I made the mistake very early this morning of looking at grandprix.com in order to have the winner of the Spanish GP revealed; SHEISA! As I’ve been waiting to find out the results...

Thus I could only mutter WTF? When the news pondered if Mark Webber could have a Maranello drive in is future? As I can only regard this in two fashions; first possibly Contract negotiation bargaining? And secondly as Webber could play Wingman for Fredrico Suave, a.k.a. Fernando Alonso who’d I’d guess is the better of the two Drivers and thus could continue playing the dutiful role of No. 2, eh?

Vote For Milka!


This was sent to me by “CARPETS” of Indiana fame, who’s apparently a member of the Milka Duno Fan Club...

MILKA DUNO NOMINATED FOR UNIVISION YOUTH AWARD
Duno Nominated for Premios Juventud Award in Sports

LOS ANGELES, CA (May 7, 2010)
IndyCar driver Milka Duno, the first Hispanic female in history to compete in the Indy 500 and IndyCar Series, has been nominated for Univision's 2010 Premios Juventud award in the Deportes (Sports) category.

A special webpage is now open on Univision.com and fans worldwide can now vote for their favorite Spanish-speaking celebrity.

Fans can vote for Milka at:
http://www.univision.com/content/content.jhtml?chid=6&schid=10416&secid=10418&cid=1472802

Voting ends May, 27, 2010!

Premios Juventud (which means 'Youth Awards') is an awards show for Spanish-speaking celebrities in the areas of film, music, sports, fashion and pop culture and is presented by the Spanish-language television network Univision. Awards winners will be determined by online voting.

This year's live broadcast of Premios Juventud will air on the Univision network on July, 15, 2010 starting at 7pm EST.

For additional information on Milka Duno please visit” http://www.milkaduno.com/

Foyt “Quinitto” ‘N Stuff

So while Y’all are getting “JAZZED” over the riveting abbreviated Month ‘O May which begins today; in case you haven’t heard...

Recently Robin Miller’s favourite “Fishwrap,” The Indianapolis Star announced that A.J. Foyt V is on the way, as Foyt IV’s wife Casey Irsay Foyt is five months pregnant with a baby boy. Casey, 27, is the daughter of Colts owner Jim Irsay who stated; "We can't mess with tradition", she said of the child's name. We've got to keep it going." AJ V will be the great grandson of four time Indy winner AJ Foyt Jr

Meanwhile, reputedly “Doctor Who,” a.k.a. Tim Wardrop, the “T” of the 2012 IndyCar New chassis BAT project who has been continuing his association with the PDM Indy Lights program, he is working with Foyt this May, as I’d assume it’s with ‘Ol Super Tex’s second entry for “QUATRO,” a.k.a. A.J. Foyt IV...

BAT Wings Unfurled

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Picking a Formulae

Whale I don’t know ‘bout Y’all, but I’m finding it increasingly challenging to figure out the touted European Open Wheel Racing “Ladder” system, which seemingly continues to muddy the waters with its constant addition of new series, going from easy to Huh? And whilst I’m NOT happy over the demise of what’ll always be the Toyota Atlantics to Mwah... I do have to agree that the much ballyhooed Indy Car’s “Road to Indy” Ladder system is indeed a pretty clear cut path to follow...

(F1) Formula 1
This is the top of the food chain, commonly known as “The Pinnacle of Motorsport,” primarily for its exceptional embracing of technology, albeit having been somewhat massively blunted with the FIA’s attempt’s at Cost Cutting, even if there truly is NO such thing in the Formula One Universe.

(F2) Formula 2
The original Formula 2, more commonly known as F2 traces its roots back to 1947 when it was conjured-up as a “B” Formulae to the Top Banana – Formula Uno, (F1) albeit it wasn’t uncommon to see Formula Two chassis sprinkled into a Formula One race in the early years… While the F1 Championship consisted solely of F2 chassis during the years 1952-53 in an effort to save expenses, along with returning to this practice when F1 effectively adopted the F2 machinery between 1961-65.

Yet F2 really took off with the inception of the European F2 Championship commencing in 1967, running thru 1984 and seeing its headiest competition from multiple chassis makers: March, Matra, Ralt, Techno, Toleman, etc in the 1970’s.

And as its followers F3000 and GP2; the original Formula 2 (1967-84) saw every single Champion graduate into the top echelon, nee Formula One, while the Jury’s still out upon the newly reconstituted F2 Series that the FIA reinstated last year.

Formula 3000
There are various guises to the series nomenclature, yet for me it implies the now defunct International F3000 Championship, acting as the replacement to the long-in-the-tooth European F2 Series, beginning in 1985 with the adaptation of 3,000cc Normally aspirated V-8 lumps as the motivating factor, in an effort to find a home for the now obsolete Ford/Cosworth DFV lumps that had previously ruled the roost in Grand Prix Racing before the Turbo era finally took over.

Formula 3000 ran for effectively two decades; 1985-2004 before being replaced by GP2, with nearly all of the series Champions graduating to Formula 1. The inaugural Title winner was Christian Danner and Vitantonio Liuzzi was the final F3000 Champion, while only Title holders Vincenzo Sospiri, (1995) crashed ‘N burned with the failure of the MasterCard Lola F1 Project; Jirg Muller, (1996) Bruno Junqueira (2000) and Bjorn Wirdheim (2003) all managed to only ascertain Formula 1 Testing roles before moving onto other series. Yet while Muller and Junqueira were simply testers, Wirdheim spent 2004 as Jaguar’s Friday Third Driver before Red Bull’s purchase of the Team sealed his F1 career demise and the ‘Swede joined Whineybags in Champ Car for 2005.

Meanwhile, Sebastian Bourdais, the 2002 Champion won the Crown on the basis of Title winner Tomas Enge being disqualified due to a Drug Testing failure...

GP2 and GP2 Asia
I will skip the GP2 Asia series, which basically is considered GP2 Lite and is designed to keep the GP2 Teams active during the winter months, while GP2 was introduced as a replacement to F3000 in 2005. This supposed Cost “Savings” Formulae features 4,000cc Normally Aspirated Renault V-8’s mated to Dallara chassis, with the current second generation variant in it’s final season this year, with it’s predecessor having been tested by somebody named Michael Schumacher over the 2009 winter months...

Like F3000, GP2 has seen every Title winner with the exception of Giorgio Pantano (2008) graduate into F1, amongst other competitors. The Champions roster includes: Nico Rosberg, (2005) Lewis Hamilton, (2006) Timo Glock, (2007) And Nico Hulkenberg, (2009) with a total of five GP2 Drivers graduating into Formula 1 in 2010.

(F3) Formula 3
I’m not even gonna try tackling this “Junior” Formulae, as there’s simply a zillion iterations of it across the European landscape. Suffice it to say though; it’s an integral Feeder category that typically is part of the accepted path to competing in Formula 1.

GP3
This is an interesting series that makes its debut this year with its inaugural race occurring during the Spanish GP weekend as part of the support series for the F1 race. GP3 has been designed as a direct Feeder category into GP2 and each of the competing Teams consist of Three car entities, many with either GP2 or F1 connections.

And as Ryan likes to do, I’m going to go out on a limb and (“Pontificate”) claim that I expect to see at least the following three competitors Esteban Gutierrez, Alexander Rossi and Robert Wickens all graduate into Formula 1 in the future... while it’ll be interesting to see who becomes the dominant American driver between Carlin (Motorsport’s) duo of Josef Newgarden and Jake Rosenzweig vs. ART’s Rossi.

And although Rosenzweig did take part in GP3 Pre-season testing, he’s no longer listed as one of Carlin’s three drivers and instead is now focusing upon the World Series by Renault for Carlin in 2010.

GP3: Another Formula 1 Feeder Series emerges

World Series by Renault (WSR)
This series began as a Spanish Open Wheel affair, originally spawned by the Japanese Automaker Nissan as the motivating factor behind the Driver’s backsides, before being rebranded as a “Reggie” (Renault) entity. And I’m really not sure still how it all works, as there seemingly is a ladder series all of its own within the Renault banner.

Yet several former, current ‘N successful Formula Uno Piloto’s with names such as: Marc Gene, Fernando Alonso, Franck Montagny, Ricardo Zonta, Heikki Kovalainen and Robert Kubica are all former Series Champions, with “Frank the Tank” (Montagny) being the only repeat winner in 2001, 2003.

Meanwhile last year’s Champion Bertrand Baguette who tested for both BMW Sauber and Renault during the past winter’s F1 Young Driver’s Test has now decided to go racing for fellow Countryman Eric Bachelart’s Conquest Racing Indy Car Team and will hope to compete as a Rookie in this year’s Indy 500.

Other Feeder Series
And this doesn’t even include: Formula BMW, Formula Ford, Formula Nippon, etc.

As you may also wish to visit Junior Open Wheel Talent (JOWT) for an insight upon the “Young guns” along with his excellent look at the Feeder series primer’s upon his website by visiting;

Junior Open wheel Talent

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Sweden’s Newest HotSchue?


Having flown Across-the-Pond via the Polar Ice Cap route and elsewhere, Hopefully I should now be sitting comfortably in the Swedish countryside in the far away outskirts of “Waxoe-Vacs Joe!” Albeit I’m not sure if its as “Happening” as Cabo Wabo, eh?

Thus, I suppose I’d be somewhat remiss if I didn’t root for the ‘Swede’s GP2 Newboy Marcus Ericsson, who I’ve only learned about during my previous F1 Young guns testing stories last December.

F1: Young Drivers Test begins

Thus I’ve since discovered via Marcus’s website that he’s from Kumla, Sweden and only won his Formula Nippon Title in the series very last race, passing for the win with 5-laps remaining... And you’ve gotta like the Young Marcus who claims in his “Bio” that his picks for Racing Drivers are;

Favourite racing driver:
“Michael Schumacher because he is the best and Heikki Kovalainen because he is cool!”

Yet Ericsson will have his work cut out for him in the Rarefied Atmosphere of GP2, as I’m certain that Ferrari’s Newboy Jules Bianchi is keen to collect the Crown and then head for a possible Sauber ride in Formula 1 next year, eh? And that’s not even mentioning the other talented Young Guns in the GP2 Championship this season...

Ericsson who’s Managed by some ‘Swede’s named Brack ‘N Co. will be racing for the Super Nova Racing Team, while Bianchi’s ART Grand Prix is always a series Frontrunner, not to mention I-Sport International...

You can catch the GP2 Season Opener via SPEED ‘N Elsewhere as it kics off its Twenty-Ten (2010) Season at the Spanish GP in Barcelona this weekend along with the inaugural GP3 Series debut.

So Good Luck Marcus!

NOTE:
By coincidence; American Racecar Driver Jake Rosenzweig rreplaced the Young Swede at Super Nova Racing for the final two GP2 Asia rounds during the 2009-10 Campaign after having previously tested for the Team during November 2009...

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Ya-Sure-Yuh-Betcha!


Don’t know if Y’all have caught my recent hints... “Wink-Wink, Nudge-Nudge,” BUTT! You’re ‘STEAMED Head Bottle Washer ‘N Humble Scribe is taking off on a much deserved rest away from this DARN Blasted Confuzer... (Which means a break fram meeze finely hoonded ‘Vurd Botcherin’ nucels baginz skills; Hya!)

And thus, I’ll bee on my very first Holiday of the Twenty-Ten calendar year with a fortunate sojourn to Sweden... Where I’m hopefully gonna visit Ronnie Peterson’s Hometown, even if his Museum shutdown late last fall due to Economic woes.

Thus, there won’t be any truncated ramblings for this weekend’s just completed Kentucky Indy Car Race or the forthcoming Spanish GP Formula 1 Race... And that’s NOT because it’s an Oval Track Race, or that I couldn’t figure out what time it was on; Hya! Was ‘Dat 1:30PM New York Time, 12:30PM Kansas Time or 10:30AM Pacific?

And Nothing against Barcelona either, just TOO DAMN BUSY getting ready to fly the Coop, OTAY? Thus I suggest you peruse Bloggerland instead, as in the Fine collection ‘O Bloggeratzi compiled in my Racing Links section on the R/H Sidebar. And then Y’all better return on May 15, 2010; Please!

NOTE
Obviously, SNAP! (Something to do with Rubber bands ‘N My Name is IRL’s Graham Rahal tribulations...) I originally ‘Scribbled this story prior to some minor seismic activity occurring in Iceland, as in the Eyjafjallajökull Volcano eruption on April 14th- Aye Karumba!

As this Obviously – SNAP! Directly affected my previous travel plans... As ironically I’m flying to Sweden via Iceland’s main Airport, which is hopefully opened by now? Or I may be going to Sweden via Glasgow, Scotland instead? Can you say “Rickshaw?” As Iceland’s main Airport was closed due to shifting winds bringing the Volcanic Ash back home a week after cratering European Airspace...

Iceland volcano: eruption 'could just be rehearsal' for worse ash chaos if Katla blows

Therefore whilst you’re Humble Scribe is “Out ‘N Aboot” playing in the Swedish Snobanks... Hey? Was that Kimi I saw? Sure hope it weren’t NO Polar Bearz seeking refuge from that ‘lil ‘Ol Volcano thingy!

Kimi ‘N his Oomphlats chase Polar Bears in Sweden

The nofenders.net Blogsite may be a little barren for the next Ten days, as I’ll see if I can get Blogmeister Miguel to post a story or two for Mwah while I’m overseas...

Thus for the time being; “Heydu!” and pass me another “Yurl!”

Viva la Mexico

Don’t know if they celebrate Cinco de Mayo in Sweden? As I’m kinda guessing Not? Anyways here’s another story I Scribbled sometime ago about various Mexicali’s participation in Formula Uno...

Cinco de Mayo

Another savory F1 Travel story from Shanghai


For Obvious reasons, your humble No Fenders Scribe has been keenly interested upon the latest goings of Air Travel to ‘N from Europe, especially since I’m trying to take a trip Across-the-Pond...

Update from Shanghai – April 22

Thus this story recently grabbed my attention, even better yet coming from a voice of the past, as in a one Messer Bob Constanduros, who was the Original voice of Formula 1 to Mwah over one decade ago; Pre “House ‘O Windsor,” a.k.a. Peter Windsor... And I even had the privilege of having been lectured by Bob one fine evening prior to the Italian Grand Prix!

And it’s not surprising to have read upon the Blogosphere that Uncle Bernaughty, nee Mr. Bernard Ecclestone was the very first person home from Shanghai... In what was dubiously coined the “Volcanic Grand Prix,” something to do with owning his own Falcon Jet! To which le internets claim his ex-wife Slavica bought her own matching $36.5m Falcon Jet to celebrate their divorce back in ’09... While I’m sure emperor Bernardo’s is newer and also he apparently gave Master ‘Zebb (Vettel) a lift upon to Dubai; nice having friends in high places, eh?

So NO word on whether or not Messer Constanduros has finally made it back Across-the-Pond, as it sounded like he was getting a bit antsy... And hopefully I’m not jinxing myself by Scribbling ‘bout this, nor Mr. Constanduros, as I found it fairly amusing to read how Mark Webber had forgotten to take his Passport with him upon his return early morning flights from China; CRIKEYS!

Red Bull Racing home again

Meanwhile as of Saturday, April 24th it was reported that only 44 F1 Personnel remained Shanghaied in China...

Nearly all Formula 1 Personnel now Home

F1 TECH: Shanghai update

Since I’m unable to spot all of the Telestrator intricies that Professor Matchett likes pointing out over the Grand Prix weekends, due to NOT having eyes like the proverbial rodent animals David Hobbs likes to refer to... I’ve decided to let noted F1 “Journo” James Allen do ALL of the Heavy lifting and thus here’s his report from the Chinese GP weekend.

For the Latest on the “F-Duct” revolution, which reportedly Ferrari, Mercedes, Sauber and Williams are now all producing, see:

James Allen: Shanghai Tech Talk

Mansell ‘N Schuey?


Whilst there seemingly is great furor over the current Duno Factor debate in Indy Cars,
It’s pretty entertaining how much conjecture is being made over a one Messer Michael Schumacher’s apparent lack of pace upon his return to Formula 1 after a 3yr Sabbatical... HELL! After all he’s the sport’s ONLY Seven Times World Champion...

Yet after I’m certain that a much younger Nico Rosberg had signed on the dotted line for what he inherently thought would be “His Team,” apparently Ross Brawn, Norbert Haag ‘N Co. lured DER TERMINATOR back into the fold... As Michael has apparently been itching to return to The Pinnacle of Motorsport and finally found the right “Deal” after having had his Scuderia Dreams Scuttled by his injured neck from some “Scooter” accident, previously suffered while trying to keep himself occupied.

Ironically, Michael is trying to make his F1 comeback at the age of 41yrs old, and while I’m certainly NOT trying to make ANY comparisons to ‘Il Lione or ‘BLOODY NIGE! Nee Nigel Mansell... It was Fifteen years ago that the 41yr old (coincidence?) Briton had his last gasp in Formula One, making a very disheartening final two starts for McLaren... Before walking away from the sport, claiming the MP4-10 Mercedes Benz wasn’t any good... While many including myself spent years making fun of ‘Ol Nige’s backsides being Too large... As originally Mansell couldn’t fit the McLaren’s too narrow cockpit and thus Mark Blundell substituted for Nige in the season’s first two races before replacing Nigel for good at the Monaco GP.

Yet ‘Ol Black Jack, nee Sir Jack Brabham won his final Grand Prix in South Africa in 1970 at the tender age of 44, which most likely will never be duplicated, making Sir Jack the oldest F1 Post-war winner...

And while Michael Schumacher has been outscored 4-0 in the ever important intrateam competition, as in Rosberg has both Out qualified & Raced him 4-0 to date and is second in the Drivers Title fight with 50 points vs. Schuey’s 10... Are we simply getting ahead of our self’s here? As in Michael’s been out of racing for 3yrs which is an eternity in F1 standards and thus the sports never ending Technology advances have simply passed him by... While not to mention, who’d have ever thought the German would become the sport’s Elder Statesman? As much of his opposition is half as old as Michael, who may now simply be worried about his Family life more then making the ultimate sacrifice, eh?

But once again, its only four races into the long F1 season and I’d expect to see Michael improve at Barcelona, where I’d assume the entire field is hoping to have a straight-up, dry weather fight and thus see where the chips fall? Not to mention that many, including Mercedes GP have been claiming to have updates coming for Spain...

So do you think Schumacher will see out his three year contract or simply walk away in disappointment?

Schumacher admits to lack of Intermediate tyre knowledge

NOTE
As typical, after penning this elaborate story, Mercedes GP admitted that they would be making significant upgrades to their W01 chassis “Just-in-time” for the upcoming Spanish Grand Prix; including major Aerodynamic improvements and a “Stretched” wheelbase to improve weight distribution. Also Michael Schumacher will revert back to the Test chassis with modified wheelbase to hopefully help his performance...

Mercedes ready with major upgrade for Spain