Friday, April 30, 2010


NO! NOT SPEED’s IndyCar Curmudgeon Robin Miller... Instead it’s Joel Miller who’s looking for your help to enable an Aspiring American Racecar Driver get his chance to race in this year’s Indy Lights Freedom 100 at The Speedway May 28th.

The 21yr old Californian native made his foray into Indy Lights by competing in the just concluded Long Beach event, which was effectively his Home race... And Joel is hoping to go further and is seeking additional funds via Funding schemes that Scott Dixon and Justin Wilson have used in the past successfully... So for a mere $10 you can become a member of Miller’s “People’s Car” project and help another Yank compete in Open Wheel Racing...

Joel Miller – The People’s Car

Trackside Nuggets

So I actually remembered to tune into Trackside with Kevin ‘N Cavin yesterday afternoon... As I was all excited ‘bout it last week only to discover that the NFL Draft was pre-empting it instead.

Unfortunately they seemed to spend an inordinate amount of time discussing future Oval Tracks... Psst! Newsflash guys! Not ALL of us wanna hear ‘bout Ovals; Kapishe! As hey, there’s a very good track already built up here in the Pacific Northwest named Portland International Raceway!

But I was unaware of the Adam Carroll – Andretti Autosport announcement that apparently could involve either the No. 27-43-37 (BINGO!) or any combination of those, although it seems like they were making Ryan Hunter-Reay’s ride somewhat shaky? CRIKEYS! As all that’s confirmed is that Carroll has been signed to do an unknown number of races beginning in the second half of the season...

And they spent way too LITTLE time with The Flying Dutchman, a.k.a. Arie Luyendyk,(Senior) as its way too hard to fathom that it was 20yrs ago that the Doug Shierson Racing Dominos Pizza Car entered Victory Lane at The Speedway... As ‘Ol Arie summed it up best; Time Flies by!

He mentioned that Arie Junior will most likely NOT drive at all this year as his Indy dream seems to have slipped by, but Dad noted you’re only 28 Son so keep working on it...

And I enjoyed his comments about doing his record 237+ mph laps in 1996, saying that car was so trimmed out it was EASY! And it was way harder the next year in IRL machinery doing a 218 vs. 238 the year before; Aye Karumba! (Musta been ‘Juan ‘O Dem Original CRAPWAGONS, eh?) Even though he went on to win the race...

Interestingly Arie will be working with Mike Conway this year for Indy, previously having worked with Robert Doornbos... (As I’ve forgotten who the driver prior to Bad Bobby D was?) So that’s good news for “Team England!” Err Dryer & Reinbold, who I’m guessing will also be bolstered by Tomas Scheckter’s Oval experience...

Last up was aspiring Indy Lights (and Beyond) American Joel Miller, who mentioned when asked by Kevin that an Indy Lights weekend (event) will set you back $40k and a Full season will run you $750,000 MINUS ANY DAMAGES...

Doin’ the I500 Shuffle

So unless I’ve missed something, it appears that there are only four seats still up for grabs in this year’s Indy 500 with the following entries being listed as TBA. No. 16: A.J. Foyt; No. 17: Rahal Letterman Racing; No. 27 AFS Racing; No. 98: Team 3G.

So in my best “CAM WOW!” Fashion, I’m gonna go out on a limb and take a very NON Scientific crack at who’ll be the lucky foursome to pilot these rides... As I’ll take the easy picks first; like in you’d like to assume that The Graminator, Err Stash Jnr. Better known as Graham Rahal will find his way into his Pappy’s number 17 RLR ride... Whiled I’d hazard to guess the No. 27 will feature J.R. Hildebrand and the No. 98 most likely Jacques Lazier.

But I’d have to say that it’s ‘Ol Super Tex’s third entry that’s the most intriguing to Mwah; Who could it be? As the Car number was apparently chosen by AJ’s PR Officer Anne Fornoro.

Number picked for a reason
Eyebrows were raised this week when A.J. Foyt Racing's third Indianapolis 500 entry showed the car as No. 16.
Not only has the team used it sparingly in the past -- George Snider carried it in the 1980 race -- it has been the number used in recent years by Scott Sharp.
However, Sharp is not headed for that ride, team spokeswoman Anne Fornoro said. In fact, the use of that number was her idea.
"It was my dad's number," she said proudly. "I suggested it."
Russ Klar was a standout midget driver in the Northeast through the 1950s and early '60s. He won a AAA sprint car race at Illiana Speedway in Schererville, Ind., in 1953. He died in 2005.
(Source:; Curt Cavin)

And although I’d find it quite enjoyable to see ‘PT’s Protégé “P.J. Chessnut” or Phil Geebler get the nod, Cavin goes on to say that if the car runs AJ’s first choice is Jacques Lazier... So perhaps Team 3G would go with Richard Antinucci instead? And of course don’t forget Oriel Servia or whoever else A.J. can russle up from the Shopping Mall’s Baby-R-Us store.

Can you feel the Excitement Baby?
2010 Indy 500 Entry list announced

Thursday, April 29, 2010

The Duno factor or Milka way?

So there certainly seems to be a lotta conjecture over a one Misses Milka Duno; Multiple Master’s College Degrees, Children’s Book Author, Venezuelan Sports Personality of the Year and noted Indy Car Driver...

And it’s somewhat entertaining to think that fellow Blogger George Phillips of Oil Pressure has come under such acrimony over his comment towards it being time for Milka to PARK IT... While I’ve had fun with the subject by denoting Milka-licious as The Wanderin’ Milka and Nary-a-Peep!

What is the Role of a Blogger?
Is Duno out of her league? Whale I must say that I’ve never-ever heard of an Indy Car being SLOWER then the ENTIRE Indy Lights field in my life! Yet, then again Milka was ultimately only 4 seconds adrift a lap before either being ordered to Park or retiring from “Handling” issues during last week’s Long Beach Grand Prix; So - You make the Call... As in the words ‘O RASSCAR, could that be the Indy Racing Leagues version of “Start ‘N Park?”

And my favourite Robin Miller quote of late is his claiming that while ‘Roundy-round may have the Lucky Dog, Indycarz has the Lucky Milka!
But as far back as I can remember from the Way-back machine... There have always been Backmarkers, Rolling Chicanes or whatever Y’all wanna call ‘em... HELL! Recall the Folklore behind how proverbial Tail Gunner Charlie Hiro Matsushita got his revered nickname of ‘KING HIRO! And that’s not including all of Dick Simon’s Drivers, (or Dick himself) or the multiple guises of Dale Coyne and Kenny Bernstein’s Operations thru the decades... While the IRL circa 1996-06-ish is vastly unknown to Mwah, due to some ‘lil thingy known as The Split!

Thus of late, the last Backmarker King was known as Marty “Geritol” Roth... Who ultimately packed-up his Operation and sold his Armada of “Low-mileage” Dallara’s to Alex Tagliani’s FAZZT Race Team, leaving Milka Duno as the series new Backmarker Du Jour.

And while I’m NOT comparing the two Females skills driving-wise, it is interesting that Sarah Fisher decided to insert Graham Rahal into her Racecar for the last three Twisties, due to her noted slower pace upon the Road/Street circuits... While I’d have to say “Stash Jnr” didn’t exactly light the world on fire during these, eh?

And finally, once again while NOT drawing ANY comparisons... Has anybody noticed the mumblings over the three Newboyz Formula 1 Teams this season? As there was great conjecture made over Hispania Racing being some 10-12 seconds a lap off the pace in the Season Opener... Which while these Organizations particularly are HURT by the lack of in-season testing, I believe that the Lotus, Virgin and even the Hispania Cars are now within only 4.5-5 seconds a lap off the pace and steadily improving!

And thus we come full circle back to Milka-Milka-Milka... Who in her defense has never contested either a Full Season in Indy Cars nor contested any of the Street Circuits and Road Course to date and hence is in a very steep learning curve... So, should she have her Ticket punched? Or let her continue trying to move forwards... All I can say is Milka duno is sure a HELLUVA Easier on the Eyes then Marty Roth ever was, eh?

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

IRL’s Newest, Besstest, Shiniest Triple Crown –Whatever...

WTF!!! What an extremely SAD day for Indy car enthusiasts... WOW! Look Ma, I won the BBEEESSSSSTTTTTT 3 Races-in-a-Row, Tick-TACKY-Toe ‘IndeeCarz Cup sponsored by Frosted Flakes... ‘Cause uze knows... Waits for it... TUH-DUH! Their GURR RRREEEAAAAAAATTTTTTT!!!!

IndyCar Officials Confirm that they wanna be like the WWE

Hey, it’s kinda like Indy 500 Qualifying... You could win the Ple in the morning, noon or night... You could run up to 26 Times a day and NOT be BOOMPED outta Duh Field, or you coulds just waits tills One minute to go ‘N slap on your 47th set of red rubber and throw down a flyer, Blah-blah-blah...

So will somebody please explain to me how this fits in with Unification? Ovalheads vs. Left ‘N Righters... Oh Never Mind!

TELECON: Tomas Scheckter 'N Ryan Hunter-Reay

Whale that was Fun! As Indy Car held another in its multitude ‘O Teleconferences with today’s guests being Ryan “The IZOD Dude” Hunter-reay and Tomas “Rockem-Sockem” Scheckter... As your Humble No Fenders Scribe actually asked Tomas not ‘Juan but Two Questione’s...

But first the RALLY-RALLY-RALLY-BIG NEWS! Uh, Gee Whiz! Tomas Scheckter’s Dryer & Reinbold No. 23 will once again be sponsored by Mona Vy... while I wanted to know if he’d be working with a brand new Race crew this May and if so how long would it take for him to “Gel” with them at the Speedway? Tomas stated that he’d already tested with the Team last November and was pretty comfortable with whoever Larry Curry put together for him which would probably be a mixture of Personnel already there ‘N others.

And OOPS! (Jeffie) I asked him Obviously, SNAP! Any chances of running more then Indy? Which I totally didn’t expect anything Earth shattering to be said to Mwah... So NO, right now Scheckter’s obviously focusing upon the Indy 500.

And I enjoyed his comments about how he does NOT enjoy Qualifying at Indy, telling ‘THE DAWG that he’d Qualified P11 5yrs in-a-row and its just a real “Harem-Scarem” time, especially if you’re having to hang it all out like he witnessed Hunter-Reay do in the Vision Racing entry... Just to scrape in 32nd!

Next up was Ryan Hunter-Reay, who’ve I’ve definitely gotta say is growing upon me as a very COOL Dude! And I can say that he’s definitely the right person for IZOD... Which makes it even harder to fathom how he still does NOT have a Full Season ride... Even going so far as to make it sound like his drive at Texas was now somewhat in doubt? Oh Give me a Break; you mean IZOD is gonna hang him out to dry after Indy? Whale that’s a really bold Marketing move, right? Or is this just part of the Hype-machine...

But Ryan’s best answer of all definitely was his opinion upon the newly instituted Oval ‘N Road Course Trophies... Uh, those are great side perks, but, really ALL that matters is who WON Indy and who WON the Series Overall Championship... Good on Yuhs, Mate!

And I also enjoyed his ‘Barb ‘bout potentially adding a Nation’s Cup to the mix? Whale that might be a problem as there’s currently a HELLUVA lot of Brazilian’s racing right now; Hya! But we did have that back when I raced in CART... Zoinks! May be they could take the top scoring driver for each Nationality and do it that way, which would be KOOL...

Oh My Gawd! The might of a Nation upon ‘TAG! As in being the lone “Kuh-Nuck,” eh? (Besides Indy and may be Edmonton & Toronto?)

And that concludes this truncated portion of Today’s Teleconference... As we’re now off to visit Dorothy ‘N her Pooch toto in Kansas... So rejoice all of Yuhs Ovalheads, as Y’all can catch the race on ABC this Saturday morning at 10:30AM PACIFIC...

Monday, April 26, 2010

F1: 2010 Chinese GP highlights

Round 4 of 19
(Shanghai China: April 18, 2010)

Whale I have to admit that I was somewhat preoccupied upon watching le Memorex the first time Sunday morning and simply couldn’t remember everything that had occurred... So I did what I rarely do and just watched the tape a second time to see if BLOODY ‘OL ‘JENSE WON AGAIN?

I have to say that I found SPEED’s elder Statesman ‘HOBBO, nee David Hobbs to be absolutely brilliant over the weekend... First describing Sebastian Buemi’s “MEGA” double front wheel failure as a Steering input issue... SHEISA! That was a Monstrous looking accident which has now been noted by the Team as a double Front Suspension Upright failure, (UH DUH!) as thankfully NOBODY was injured from the runaway tyres, one which went into a Grandstand and the other which actually hit a Television camera; Aye Karumba!

And I’ve just read how the right upright simply snapped and then milliseconds later the massive loads transferred across the chassis and caused the left upright to break, as apparently the new batch of Aluminum parts were machined just a tad too thin in the never ending search to remove weight...

Then Hobbs continued on eloquently in the “Qualie” Show buildup by interjecting when Professor (Steve) Matchett noted that Messer Vitaly Petrov had trouble bringing the R30 back to the Pits... Hobbs immediately said “Brought it back on the Truck!” As Petrov lost control over the rumble strips and instantly performed a Wall Smack...

And I have to say that the race was truly chaotic as the first 10 laps seemed like a lifetime with all of the changing weather conditions, as I felt worn out simply from the cozy confines of my Lazy Boy recliner... Although I have to say the part of the race I enjoyed the most was the Battle Royale’s Herr Schumacher put on with his much younger adversaries, as Lewis Hamilton politely claimed that was the most aggressive battle he’d ever had with somebody! And ‘Ol Schuey sure didn’t show any ‘LUV for his ex-teammate Felipe Massa when giving him the patented Schuey-Swerve over P9! Effectively running the Brazilian off track, which the announcers were uber-quick to point out, was shades ‘O Magny Cours, circa ’04 with ex-Bosom buddy ‘DC. (David Coulthard)

And amazingly Williams Nico Hulkenberg pitted the most with six trips to change back “N forth between tyres, with Alonso, Trulli and another all making five trips apiece...

Other Top 10 Qualifiers
P8) R. Kubica; Renault
P10) A. Sutil; Force India

Other Point Scorers
5th) R. Kubica; Renault
7th) Vitaly Petrov; Renault

Race Drive of China
This race pick seems Obvious to me, SNAP! Oh Never Mind! But I have to say that I was overly impressed by the young “Rooskie’s” drive, first having stayed out on “Slicks” during the spitting rain and playing a dutiful wingman to Team leader Robert Kubica... As the “Reggie” duo ran continuously in P3-P4 behind the Big Guns of Mercedes ‘N McLaren. Then having made another Pitstop for Intermediate rubber, Vitaly dusted off the likes of the Toro Rosso, Ferrari ‘N others... Then finding himself 15 seconds behind DER TERMINATOR, nee M. Schumacher, who had an abysmal day by his “Rainmeister” reputation... Vitaly not only overtook Messer Schumacher in only his fourth ever Grand Prix, but also passed the vastly experienced Mark Webber, notoriously difficult to overtake who’d made two more Pitstops then the Russian! And thus my pick easily goes to Renault’s Vitaly Petrov for scoring his maiden Grand Prix points with a fine seventh place finish.

Whale it seems that “JENSE once again got the better of his exalted teammate “JAGUAR,” who seemingly has more pace then Button, yet Hamilton is also apparently harsher upon his equipment, especially those majik black ring thingy’s... As I still don’t know if it’s “Code” for Team Orders when ‘JAGUAR radios the Pits his tyre is Bald or just trying to Cover his “Derriere?” (ARSE!) As Button made two fewer Pit stops to Hamilton; 2-4 and thus managed to hold on for his second victory of the year.

No. 1) J. Button: Q) 5th; R) Winner
No. 2) L. Hamilton: Q) 6th; R) 2nd
(Car No; Driver)

Name Q R
Button 3 2
Hamilton 1 2
(Head-to-Head Standings)

SPEED’s Bob Varsha pointed out that by Nico Rosberg leading the race, it was the first time since Italy, 1955 that Mercedes GP had led a race... Even if Rosberg’s lead was due to tyre strategy, the young Nico sure seems to have the upper hand over his Seven Time World Champion teammate Michael Schumacher... Who simply seemed somewhat out of his element, having pitted for fresh rubber more times then Rosberg who managed to survive with his thrashed Intermediate’s and claim his second Podium of the season, vaulting him to second in the Drivers Championship while Michael’s lowly tenth place finish matches his total of 10 points for the season to date.

No. 3) M. Schumacher: Q) 9th; R) 10th
No. 4) N. Rosberg: Q) 4th; R) 3rd

Name Q R
Schumacher 0 0
Rosberg 4 4

Red Bull
Whale I really don’t know what happened to the Red bull duo as Master ‘Zebb seemed to be the consensus pick for victory after his third Pole Position of the year... While Webber was alongside in P2 and thus you’d expect them to run off and hide from the rest of the pack, eh? Yet I can only surmise that they got their tyre strategies wrong by not staying out at the beginning and thus seemingly wandered ‘round in the middle of the front grouping the rest of the day, although Vettel did seem to get a bit ‘Nerfed by Hamilton in the Pit lane, along with both Drivers having damaged Front Wing endplates from separate skirmishes... And Vettel seemed to momentarily lose his cool when pressured in Post-race interviews over his Pit lane follies...

No. 5) S. Vettel: Q) Pole; R) 6th
No. 6) M. Webber: Q) 2nd; R) 8th

Name Q R
Vettel 3 3
Webber 1 1

Fredrico Suave, a.k.a Fred Alonso made a blistering start which video replays later showed the Spaniard immediately getting the crooked finger of the FIA’s “Darth Whiting,” (Charlie) Technical Director denoting that the Ferrari had jumped the start to which Alonso was given a Drive-thru penalty... And Alonso certainly didn’t gain any ‘LUV with teammate Massa when giving him a ‘LUV-Tap entering Pit lane in order to be first in between the two Scuderia Piloto’s. So Fernando’s fourth place was impressive, yet I enjoyed Massa’s tussle with Schumacher more, although I’m guessing Felipe didn’t? Before ultimately getting around the German for ninth place...

No. 7) F. Massa: Q) 7th; R) 9th
No. 8) F. Alonso: Q) 3rd; R) 4th

Name Q R
Massa 1 2
Alonso 3 2

2010 NewBoyz
Once again it seems little was said ‘bout the inherent “Back markers,” other than how I enjoy David Hobbs continuously mentioning how the in-season testing ban effects their chances of improving, noting look how long it took force India to get it’s act together... To which Steve Matchett quickly chimed in; “All the way back to the Jordan Days!”

You have to say it was refreshing to see “KOVY’s” Lotus up in the Top Ten at the start of the race, as I’d assume the Finn was putting his Nordic driving skills to good use, eh? As Kovalainen battled with the “Superior” Williams all race long and finished a fine 14th place while once again the not-so “Scrumptious” ‘Juan, (Jarno Trulli) retired once again with Hydraulics issues.

No. 18) J. Trulli: Q) 20th; R) Retired; Hydraulics (18th)
No. 19) H. Kovalainen: Q) 21st; R) 14th (-1 lap)

Name Q R
Trulli 2 1
Kovalainen 2 3

Hispania Racing
Interestingly, Toro Rosso’s Jaime Alguersuari stated in his Post-race notes that a Hispania was weaving back ‘N forth after having been shown the Blue (Move over) Flag and hence zigzagged back into his path when he rammed Bruno Senna and lost his Front wing...

Nevertheless, “The Little Team that Could!” Completed its second Double Car finish, as interestingly Senna noted that he’d chosen a (Helmet) visor that was a tad bit too DARK for the weather conditions, while Chandhok started from Pit lane after the Team made last minute Hydraulics changes; so a very good day for the duo in their second wet race of the year.

No. 20) R-Karun Chandhok: Q) 24th; R) 17th; (-4 laps)
No. 21) R-Bruno Senna: Q) 23rd; R) 16th; (-2 laps)

Name Q R
Chandhok 1 2
Senna 3 2

Virgin Racing
Having just watched the tape a second time, I know that Timo Glock started from Pit lane in what now seems to be an attempt to fix his faltering “Cossie” lump, which the Team was unable to do, while the Virgin squad also had attempted a clutch repair upon Di Grassi’s mount prior to the start which also ultimately failed... Yet I appreciate how Nick Wirth seems to be the most forthcoming of the NewBoyz Trio of Technical Directors... NOT sugar coating the Team’s expected teething issues and actually telling us what the cars failures were... As Glock suffered from an apparent Pneumatic valve bottle supply issue, having sprung a leak somewhere, with Di Grassi having reoccurring clutch issues...

No. 24) T. Glock: Q) 19th; R) Retired; Engine (24th)
No. 25) R-Lucas di Grassi: Q) 22nd; R) Retired; Clutch (19th)

Name Q R
Glock 4 2
Di Grassi 0 2

Q) = Qualifying;; R) = Race

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Pickett Junior returns to Trucks


Yep, Y’all read that right, Nelson “Pickett Junior” (Piquet Jr.) has been named to drive in three upcoming RASSCAR Pickem-Up races for Billy Ballew Motorsports...

MOORESVILLE, N.C. (April 21, 2010) - Billy Ballew Motorsports announced today that Nelson Piquet Jr. will drive its No. 15 NASCAR Camping World Truck Series (NCWTS) entry for three events this season. Piquet will pilot the Qualcomm, ArcSight Toyota Tundra at Charlotte Motor Speedway on May 21, Texas Motor Speedway on June 4 and Michigan International Speedway on June 12.

Nelson Piquet Jr.
"I can't wait to get behind the wheel of a truck again,"

"I really enjoyed racing at Daytona and learned a lot. I gain a better understanding of how these trucks handle with each lap I take. These upcoming races will be exactly what I need to continue growing as a driver.
"It's going to be a great experience to work with the 15 team. They have great people on their team and I'm excited to be working with them. "

Thursday, April 22, 2010

2010 Indy 500 Entry list announced

On Wednesday the Indianapolis Motor Speedway released the hugely anticipated 2010 Indy 500 Entry list for this year’s 94th running of the epic Open wheel Racing Spectale...

The list includes 78 chassis for 40 entries, with only two not having backup chassis entered; the No. 27 AFS Racing and No. 29 Bryan Herta Autosport, with AFS’s Driver denoted as TBA, while BHA is running Rookie Sebastian Saavedra.

There are a total of four I500 Champions participating: Helio Castroneves, Scott Dixon, Dario Franchitti and Dan Wheldon with four Females currently entered: Milka Duno, Sarah Fisher, Danica Patrick and Simona De Silvestro, with a possible fifth TBD...

The oldest Driver once again is Davey “STUD” Hamilton and his Sparring partner “Gentleman John” (Andretti) reportedly has the most starts of the current field with 10.

And as I mentioned earlier today, the I500 grid has swelled to 35 Drivers with Tomas “Rockem-Sockem” Scheckter’s announcement, as part of “Team Englands,” Err Dryer & Reinbold Racing four car (Monty) stable for the Month ‘O May, with ‘BIA, a.k.a Ana Beatriz potentially being the Team’s fourth entry and fifth Femme Fatale on the grid. Just don’t know who’s in the No. 23 & No. 25 yet.

Oh yeah, Ladies ‘N Gentlemen start the Speculatin’ now! As I’ve noticed that Super Tex, nee A.J. Foyt has a third car available, the No. 16, while Rahal Letterman Racing has its trusty ‘Ol No. 17 on the books too... So where will The Graminator, nee Graham Rahal and J.R. Hildebrand show-up at?

2010 Indy 500 Entry list

Tomas Scheckter will be piloting Dreyer & Reinbold’s No. 23 entry, therefore leaving their fourth car the No. 25 vacant for Ana beatriz...

Today is Milka Day!

While others may be gushing over the swelling of the Indy 500 grid to 35 Drivers with Tomas “Rockem-Sockem” Scheckter’s announcement, as Wow! There’s now two “Bumpee’s,” not to mention a potential fifth female to be added to the party...

Today is National Milka-licious Day! As it’s the Wanderin’ Milka’s Birthday today which No Fenders first disclosed this Monday... So go ahead and spray that Champagne Milka, you’ve earned it... As for the entire day you’re P1, Pole Position, On the Lead Lap and the Winner of the Race... Happy 29th B-Day Milka!

Wednesday, April 21, 2010 Rolls On!

Thanks TOTALLY to the behind-the-scenes work of Blogmeister Miguel, Monday evening he went ahead and “Pulled-the-Trigger...” And Wallah! The New & Improved No Fenders (2) Blogsite was inaugurated with apparently only(?) “Minor” Technical Difficulties... As I didn’t spend the whole day figuring out how to make the Labels work!

For those of you clever enough, you may notice some subtle changes to the Blog’s “Looks ‘N Feel” – which my Most Excellante Blogmeister Miguel will try rectifying in the near future. But for now, as Randall sez; you’re stuck with me and My No Fenders Racing Blog for only another 55yrs... SHEISA!

And I encourage Y’all to drop me a Comment or 43... If you have any suggestions on what you’d like to see me Scribble ‘bout in the future... As I have only turned on the name required field in order to try minimizing the EVIL Spammers who enjoyed frequenting my site... So go ahead ‘N leave me a Comment, please...

And it appears there’s now some GRUNTER, Stalker, Err Follower Option available for ALL of you No Die Hards you may wish to check out? It’s down the Right Hand Sidebar, while you can also use the RSS Feed option if so inclined...

Kudos Miguel!

And Thank you for your continued support as we now return to our Normal Programming already in progress...

‘Hinge does It!

So the never ending entertainment of the IndyCar.Com scourge goes on... As now the BUFOONS FAILED to even list the Firestone Indy Lights Race from Long Beach or post a link to the supposed webcast... CRIKEYS! I mean Yooze Guys are KILLING ME!

After watching my taped coverage of the Formula 1 Race from Shanghai and bopping’ around Bloggerland Sunday morning; Hey shouldn’t the Indy Lights Race be going on now? So after scratching my head over the lack of information... I just clicked on the Indy Car Big Boyz 5:30PM New York time webcast link instead.

And Wallah? A much intermitted gravelly Mark James voice came outta the speakers before Kevin Lee announced it was Lap 28 of the FIL race; Aye Karumba! And before I got too torqued, I went ahead and refreshed the page that was breaking up every 26 seconds and then listened to the remainder of the event.

And James “HinchTown” Hinchcliffe led all the way home, albeit a sudden flurry ‘O Yellow flag restarts ensued, beginning around Lap 34 of 45 with Charlie Kimball nipping at Mayor ‘Hinge’s heels, while Gastone Mazzacane, Err Gustavo Yacaman, as I dipped into Me ‘Ol Timer’s Formula 1 Folklore once again there... Yet, Jake Query stuck his microphone in front of an exceedingly HOT Yacaman who had given Tonis Kasemets some sorta “Polish Salute” when he’d passed by with Gustavo fuming over Kasemets STUPIDITY... Claiming he blamed Tony Cottman for allowing Kasemets to race as he’d simply been running around punting everybody up their backsides... As Yacaman asked is Tonis going to pay me $160,000 for my ruined Racecar?

With the carnage removed, Yellow flags rescinded and Pace Car back in Pit lane, ‘Hinge once again ran away from a pressing Kimball while current Points Leader Jean Karl Vernay came home third, with Sebastian Saavedra fourth and Kimball’s AFS/Andretti Autosport teammate Martin Plowman rounding out the Top-5.

Thus it was somewhat Karmic that last Tuesday I attempted listening to ‘Hinge’s two Roommates on Autosport Radio, as not only does Phillip Major “Tom” room with him, but Justin’s “Little” (NOT!) Brother Stefan also shares the Indiana house with the two “Kuh-Nucks...” As Phillip revealed that Stefan’s nickname is “Stretch,” while Don Kay announced the younger Wilson as a member of the English National Basketball Team; Hya! Cymbol crash please! With Stefan stating that he and older brother Justin ‘BIG UNIT Wilson are both Six foot Three and a half inches TALL!

And I’m happy that I managed to tune-in for ‘Hinge’s very first Indy Lights victory, learning that I’d actually been on hand in person way back when... Oh yeah, the year that WHINEYBAGS STIFFED me during my very first ever Champ Car Autograph session; circa Twenty-oh-Six(2006) as I can still see his screwed-up face ‘N crooked ‘Schnauz... As I do known now that it was indeed Junquiera, so its even more ironic that the two Champ Car Drivers in question nearly four years ago; Alex Tagliani & Bruno Junqueira are inexplicably joined at the hip this Month of May via ‘TAG’s courtesy, eh?

Champ Car sends Devoted Fan Fuming

Yet it seems such a long time ago witnessing ‘Hinge capture his inaugural Atlantics victory at Portland International Raceway as I think that’s the year the track had a power failure due to the nearby Lightning Storm smack dab during Champ Car Final Qualifying.

Way to go ‘Hinge ‘N Team Moore! May you win the Title this year in front of the series proverbial “Heavy Hitters...” And Please! Bring Back the Indy Car’s to Portland will yuh Mr. Bernard, we miss you!

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

The Kay ‘N Cavin Show

Not to be ‘Cornfuzed with the Kevin ‘N Cavin Show... Tonight’s guest on Autosport Radio will be Curt Cavin and Alex “DoorSlammer” Lloyd! Which I’ll be interested to hear if Don Kay quizzes him upon his taking out of Justin ‘BIG UNIT Wilson at Long Beach, as in That’s what ‘Dem Mirrors are for Alex!

You can tune-in at 7PM Pacific, click here.

Citizen Tony Spotting

According to Grizzled F1 “Journo” Joe Saward... Guess where Tony George ‘N His Posse were this past weekend? As I can only imagine they’re having some difficulties getting’ home to the Hoosier State...

Apparently Mr. George ‘N (Drinkin’) Buddy Zak Brown were seen in the Shanghai Formula 1 Paddock over the weekend, as reputedly Tony’s still friends with a one Mr. Bernard Ecclestone... Along with holding the name rights to the term USGP, which will obviously need to be acquired if and when Uncle Bernaughty gets his new Grand Prix Americas race off the ground, eh?

Although I still do NOT understand why we CAN’T simply return to The Brickyard? As after all isn’t the MOTO GP contract up after this year? As George tried spinning that he was just on another Holiday and NOT doing any business dealings with Sponsor “Guru” Zackary in tow, yeah right! Hmm? Hold-on a moment? I thought George was trying to resurrect his floundering IndyCar Team in Suspended Animation... So what really is Tony’s Vision...

Monday, April 19, 2010


’Cause everybody ‘LUVS her... Just thought Y’all would wanna know that Milka-licious, nee the ‘Wanderin Milka... Err; Milka Duno will be celebrating her 29th Birthday (Again!) this coming Thursday; April 22nd, so Enjoy...

Watching the Wheels go round

What a long-strange-weekend, eh? Whale probably NOT as long ‘N strange for all of the Poor People stranded around the world due to the Iceland Volcano as I’ve just hung about watchin’ le Telescreen instead, seeing ‘JENSE ‘N RHR have their respective moments in the sun, albeit Messer Button’s day was spent largely Singing in the Rain, eh?

After having listened to another CRAPY IndyCar.Com internets Qualifying Broadcast Saturday afternoon, I watched the Formula 1 “Qualie” session from Shanghai and wrapped-it up “Just-in-Time” to witness the final 3 laps of the ALMS Race from Long Beach, CA... Where Simon “Symone” Pagenaud put on a Full Court press upon Adrian Fernandez in the faster Aston Martin V-12 LMP1 Prototype to complete a last lap Bonsai pass upon “Yo Adrian!” Whose brakes were apparently going off the boil... And thus the “slower” Highcroft ARX-01C Honda LMP2 Prototype was victorious, so Nice Job Symone!

And just one of numerous folks affected by the Icelandic Plume was Justin Wilson’s Mum, who had planned to fly over from Jolly ‘Ol England (Shettfield) to take in the Long Beach race weekend and probably check upon her Grandaughters... Butt to NO avail as Heathrow was a very quiet place this weekend instead Aircraft-wise!

Then Sunday morning I watched a very entertaining Chinese GP where everybody just “Slip-slided-Away!” As I was barking at le Telescreen for ‘JENSE to not let that pesky “Louise JAGUAR” Hamilton by, especially after his contretemps in the Pitlane with Master Zebb. (Vettel) Did Y’all catch the cheeky Post-race interview SPEED NewBoy Will buxom had with Sebastain leaving the (Stewards) Principal’s Office...

Then I found the Indy Lights race by accident; more later upon that... Before I selectively waited ‘til 1:05PM Pacific to drop into Versus ‘N see if the Pre-race banter was over yet?

And I’m very happy for Ryan “The IZOD Dude” Hunter-Reay winning the race, but I have to say I found it pretty lackluster overall, even trying to keep from nodding off during the telecast... Oh gee wiz? Another Go Danicker commercial!

Thus for entertainment... I went for my Sunday evening nightcap ‘O Motorsports lore, nee The Speed Freaks, who are definitely The Lighter side of Motor Racing...

Thus, in typical fashion, SF’s Ringleader Kenny Sargent spent a considerable amount of Airtime spewing on ‘bout the impact of the Texas RASSCARLAND events being postponed ‘til Monday due to precipitation...

Yet, in the most Karmic type of posterity... Which was absolutely FREAKIN' classic! As Kenny was BLATHERIN' ON about Rain Delays and the incurred expenses for the second time in the show... Waylaid with fodder over the NHRA’s Four-wide Charlotte event and Humpy Wheeler’s comments upon puttin’ roofs over Oval tracks... Hmm? Sounds like Uncle Bernaughty should hire Humpy to be his next USGP Promoter, eh? As we could then have track shortcuts, gold medals and all of the other trimmings, eh?

So somewhere near the end of the Show’s first hour, as I was only stickin’ round to hear what the Highcroft American Le Mans Boyz had to say... After having first lost StatMann, who'd been suffering Technical Difficulties ALL show long, fate intervened!?! As suddenly the Speed Freaks internets stream simply went DEAD in mid sentence... And trying to re-logon, I kept getting a broken internets Media Player message, NICE!

But Hey! As for the POOR RASSCAR teams/Fans, etc; Get Over It 'Sarge! Or have you heard 'bout what the Volcano in Iceland is doing to World Travel? As in 13 Formula 1 Teams with approx. 65 personnel apiece, not to mention their equipment, i.e.; Racecars and everything associated with a “Flyaway” Race! Not to mention the countless Support people, Pit Reporters and Media covering the event for us, who DON'T know if they'll be able to get home from China to Europe for One Week!

Then I read this morning via England that the Airspace is still shut down for a fifth consecutive day with 400,000+ BRITS alone stranded around the Globe, as none other then Grizzled F1 “Journo” Joe Saward has two very brief but entertaining posts upon his Grand Prix Blog towards the travails of the F1 Circus trying to wing its way home from Shanghai...

F1 not the most important thing – shock!

And Oh Yeah! They claim it's costing the Airlines $200 MILLION per day in LOST revenues, so I think getting back to Charlotte from DFW is really NOT worth the excessive Airtime you gave it Kenny!

An iconically named leader?

Whale I’m really surprised that NOBODY has latched onto the fact that the man tabbed to oversee the Indy Car’s ICONIC Board slated to select the league’s new 2012 chassis is some retired General Named Looney... As in LOONEY TUNES! Or is that just me? Hmm? Perhaps everybody is afraid of having to drop ‘N do twenty push-ups, eh?

And the rest of the selection committee, after General William R. Looney III and Gil De Ferran had been named are a most interesting bunch, especially the ex-Ford/Jaguar connection... As Brian Braveheart, a.k.a. THE I.H.J. nee Brian Barnhart was added, along with Tony Purnell, · Neil Ressler, Tony Cotman, Eddie “The Goose” Gossage and · Rick Long. To read more about each of these participants, click here.

Meanwhile I suppose I’d better drop ‘N give ‘Ol Gen. Looney III 20 push-up’s on the double, eh?

Sunday, April 18, 2010



Hey, I know its wishful thinking... But I’d like to see Bruno Senna be the first of the F1 NewBoyz to score his maiden Grand Prix Championship point, whilst also wishing for teammate Karun Chandhok continued success...

As I find Hispania Racing to be the new millennium’s Minardi of the Formula 1 Grid, and as such, you’ve just always gotta root for the little guys, eh? Especially since they seem to be the smallest of the three new outfits to crack the grid this year, so go givem’ HELL Hispania Racing, Bruno ‘N Karun!

Bruno Senna: “We want to have performance”

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Joe ‘N the Volcano

At least I think that’s what that really ‘Schnazy Volcano amusement thingy in Los Wages is called? (Las Vegas) Anyway’s today has been utterly chaotic for your Humble Scribe... But in a GOOD way!

Originally I was slated to leave for Sweden via Iceland bright ‘N early Monday morning... And in case you’ve been indoors or in a Cave like Mwah... Then perhaps you haven’t heard ‘bout some ‘lil Seismic action occurring in Iceland recently? As in a FREAKIN’ Volcano erupted (again) for the second time in a month on Wednesday night; CRIKEYS!

Being that a total of 17,000 flights were GROUNDED yesterday... And I’m assuming that the Airports ‘N Airspace’s will become utterly chaotic whenever flight travel is resumed... Then I just didn’t wanna “Roll the Bones” for the moment, thus having deferred my travel dates...

So I spent the whole morning coordinating the rescheduling of my much anticipated Holiday and haven’t even caught my breath yet to watch the taped recording of last nights Formula 1 Qualifying from Shanghai, and will try relaxin’ a bit by hopefully listening to the Indy Car Qualie session provided I can get the stream to cooperate, eh? Then I’ll watch the F1 action “Just-in-Time” to get ready to tape the Race tonight; Blah-blah-blah!

Thus I’m sorry for the lack of F1/IndyCar coverage, while I’ll be raising a RedHook IPA or 3 to the Hundreds of Thousands stranded Abroad in what must truly be a NIGHTMARE!

So why does that long, long, long ago TV Show Hill Street Blues spring to mind when the Sergeant tells everybody “Let’s be Safe out there Today,” Yuhs here!

Longing for the Beach

Which is where I wanted to stick IndyCar.Com’s NEVER ending CRAPY internets stream, as may be a crab or Geo-Duck would drag it away into the Surf and put it OUT of its misery!

But, nevertheless I made it thru the PAINS of listening to another Indy Car Qualifying session via le internets... And NOPE Folks! It’s ONLY INdyCar.Com that I have the ever-continuing Problema’s with... As I tuned in at 2:25PM Pacific and was amazed to get a connection, but I was already worried as it cut out 3-Times before the screen went blank... So I refreshed it and got a momentary dose ‘O Mike “Yippee Kai Eh!” King fillin’ time with Mark James before the CRAPY internets stream went TITS UP! SHEISA!!! As it went completely blank with an internet error screen...

As I had to power down... Pun intended? And then reboot the ‘MUTHER and decided to do it the HARD way ‘N log onto IndyCar.Com and go thru the myriad ‘O Painful screens which I’m getting really used duh, eh? So what gives Indy Car? I mean did Mr. Belskis cut corners on this service too? As in this is the ONLY internets site I have a reoccurring issue of NOT working with EVERY time I tune into a Broadcast, having LOST the connection 2.5 times today, but I digress...

Sure was nice to hear them talk up the Swiss Miss, nee Simona De Silvestro over You-know-who! As although simona just missed out on advancing to Round 2 as she was in on her final lap before Marco bumped her... De Silvestro will roll off P13 while Danna-Who? Is back in Row 10 with Taku-san; YEE-HAW!

Most impressive had to be ‘TAG, who was running with a very sore left wrist as apparently he got his thumb caught in the paddle shifter during an incident during Friday practice and it was quite swollen with the FAZZT Race Team being worried ‘bout possible Tendon damage, as Tagliani will start 7th tomorrow!

And amazing! NO TCGR Boyz in the Fast Six Final Qualifying session today... With YAWN! Three “Peskies,” Two Andretti Autosport’s and D & R’s ‘BIG UNIT Justin Wilson being the lone interloper, eh?

Almost woulda been too scripted if Ryan “The IZOD Dude” Hunter-Reay coulda miraculously pipped Will Power for Pole, BUTT! Power’s simply TOO DAMN FAST! Taking his third Pole Position in-a-row, with Wilson 3rd, Hulio P4 and TK, nee Tony Kanaan ‘N Ryan Briscoe rounding out the Top-6.

And now I’m gonna try watchin F1 Qualifying...

Friday, April 16, 2010

More Lotus fodder

Just finished watching last nights Shanghai Formula 1 Practice 2 TV coverage where SPEED’s Bob Varsha decided to bust out the trivial info of having seen it somewhere... (On le internets?) That this weekend’s Long Beach Grand Prix Indy Car action just happens to coincide with the 33rd Anniversary of some Cat named Mario Andretti winning the Formula One’s ’77 USGP West held at Long Beach, CA aboard his Lotus 78-Ford.

David Hobbs who participated in the inaugural Long Beach Grand Prix noted how a ‘Juan Mr. Rufus Parnelli Jones will be the Man of Honour this year in some sorta celebratory occasion of which Dan Gurney was the honoree last year and that others such as Brian Redman and Bobby Rahal amongst others should be on hand participating.

Actually the date was April 3, 1977 when Mario took the chequered flag ahead of the Scuderia’s Niki Lauda, in his Ferrari 312T2 with the upstart Canadian Walter Wolf’s Jody Scheckter taking the Podium’s final step in his Wolf WR1/WR3 Ford Cosworth DFV V-8.

Andretti’s victory would be the first of his four that year: Long Beach, Spain, France and Monza, Italy, while his lesser known teammate, the late ‘Swede Gunnar Nilsson scored his lone F1 victory at the rain soaked Belgian GP at Zolder on June 5th.

Interestingly this trio of Long Beach’s Podium finishers would also claim the top three positions in the 1977 Driver’s World Championship, albeit somewhat inverted, with the title winner being Niki Lauda, with a surprising Scheckter runner-up and Mario finishing third...

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Where Art Thou George?

Don’t know why, but every time I think about Good ‘Ol Uncle Sam ‘N Tax Day... I immediately flash to that time honoured Beatle’s song TAXMAN! And even clearer yet; Put Clover Pennies on your Eyes...

Hence, I thought of ‘Ol George Harrison a few dayzes earlier this week and thought it a perfect metaphor to scribble ‘bout... As after all in his later life Messer Harrison was known to frequent the Formula 1 Paddock and even Chum about with his new found pal ‘EJ, Y’all know that plucky Irishman named Eddie Jordan... Who will always have a place in my Memorex for being a very colourful character in F1, a la Flavour Flav... Except NOT in the same BAD way as his Royal Highness FB, nee Flavio Briatore... Even if their fates were somewhat intertwined over the career path of a one Mr. Michael Schumacher, eh?

Yet, perhaps ‘Ol EJ will dust off his ‘Drum Kit ‘N play a rousing rendition of George’s Taxman Song amongst other Dities the Boyz used to jam to while Harrison’s GeeTar continues weeping...

F1: 2010 Malaysian GP highlights

Round 3 of 19
(Sepang, Malaysia: April 4, 2010)

So after the daily afternoon rain shower made a most entertaining Qualifying session, with both McLaren’s and Ferrari’s NOT advancing past Q1, the rain didn’t arrive on Sunday and thus, we were left to a somewhat typical race of the “Heavy Hitters” running off and hiding instead...

“ZEBB made a masterful start, grabbing a tow like a Klingon from teammate Mark Webber and out braking him into the first series of curves and then never looking back again, as this time his delicate Red Bull chassis held together for the young German to claim his first victory of the Twenty-Ten season and sixth overall, while Webber was forced to settle for another runner-up finish and put on a “Brave-face” during the requisite Post-race interviews.

But the highlights of the race were behind the leading trio, albeit Nico Rosberg was basically running his own race in P3, while Robert Kubica finished a fine fourth with Adrian Sutil grabbing his first points of the year... As fortunately the cameras showed us all of the frivolities “JENSE, “Louise,” Felipe and Fredrico had slipstreaming ‘N passing their way towards the front of the pack from their unaccustomed lowly starting grid positions... As I must say it was interesting how difficult it was to pass those pesky Toro Rosso’s!

As “The Spanish Punk” (Jaime Alguersuari) and “The Incredible(?) Hulk” (Nico Hulkenberg) both scored their maiden Grand Prix points with Alguersuari finishing one place ahead of Hulkenberg.

Other Top 10 Qualifiers
P4) A. Sutil; Force India
P5) N. Hulkenberg; Williams
P6) R. Kubica; Renault
P7) R. Barrichello; Williams
P9) K. Kobayashi; BMW Sauber
P10) V. Luzzi; Force India

Other Point Scorers
P4) R. Kubica; Renault
P5) A. Sutil; Force India
P9) J. Alguersuari; Scuderia Toro Rosso
P10) N. Hulkenberg; Williams

Race Drive of Malaysia
Whale I suppose there are several candidates for this race, with Alguersuari, Hulkenberg, etc. Not to mention the Big Names of Button, Alonso, Hamilton and Massa all coming from the back of the grid... Yet, you’d expect nothing less from this quartet of Gran Primo Piloto’s... And thus my pick goes to Adrian Sutil for his outstanding job of holding off the never ending pressure of friend ‘N combatant “Louise JAGUAR” Hamilton for a fine 5th place. (Along with being sutil’s first points of the season)

Truly amazing stuff to see two World Champions fumbling their way about the track during the Malaysian deluge on Saturday with Button stuck in the Kitty litter and Hamilton unable to find any grip to advance to Q2. Thus both drivers made their respective ways forwards, with both scoring points, but it was ‘JAGUAR who seemingly had the far better outing of the British duo, not only passing the reigning World Champ, but finishing the highest of the “Mega” Quartet of Starz who were the Show today... Although I found myself cheering quite loudly for Sutil to NOT let that ‘Louise pass him – Yuhs Here? While apparently Jenson made a mistake which allowed Massa to pounce for the position and finish ahead of him, becoming the meat in the McLaren sandwich.

No. 1) J. Button: Q) 17th; R) 8th
No. 2) L. Hamilton: Q) 20th; R) 6th
(Car No; Driver)

Name Q R
Button 2 1
Hamilton 1 2
(Head-to-Head Standings)

Another somewhat lackluster performance from the reigning Double World Champions, one might be tempted to say? Although Nico Rosberg once again was the “Hero” of the team, scoring his first Front Row start and then first Podium for the newly reinstated Mercedes GP squad, once again it was a lonely race for Nico, while it seemed more attention was paid to his elder teammate who retired very early on with an uncharacteristic wheel nut failure.

No. 3) M. Schumacher: Q) 8th; R) Retired; Wheel Nut (21st)
No. 4) N. Rosberg: Q) 2nd; R) 3rd

Name Q R
Schumacher 0 0
Rosberg 3 3

Red Bull
Third time is a charm... For Master Zebb, who simply out dragged his older teammate into the first set of corners and then simply drove away from the Aussie who apparently had NO answer for the German today, as Webber had hoped his second career Pole Position would lead to his third career victory... But it wasn’t to be, as Vettel seemingly should be leading the Driver’s Title chase by a country mile right now, eh? Yet his victory today brings him right back into the hunt only two points behind leader Felipe Massa.

No. 5) S. Vettel: Q) 3rd; R) Winner
No. 6) M. Webber: Q) Pole; R) 2nd

Name Q R
Vettel 2 2
Webber 1 1

So this was the best of both worlds for me today... As I actually got a sore throat from screaming at le Telescreen for Alonso to BLOW UP! Although I must admit he drove a masterful race with a Gearbox full of Jell-O which sounded quite narly on the in-car camera shots, but I was more overjoyed by his retirement then Vettel’s victory... While best radio call of the day went to Rob Snedley telling Felipe: “That’s a Good Boy, now get on with it!” Upon completing his pass on Button for seventh place which ultimately gives him the early points lead, albeit I was somewhat surprised how much trouble Massa had overtaking the “little sister’s” Powered by Ferrari Toro Rosso’s.

No. 7) F. Massa: Q) 21st; R) 7th
No. 8) F. Alonso: Q) 19th; R) 13th; DNF (Retired-Engine -2 laps)

Name Q R
Massa 1 2
Alonso 2 1

2010 NewBoyz
There didn’t seem to be much Fanfare over the trio this weekend, albeit being the reconstituted Lotus Racing’s Home race, which saw their Third Driver and HomeBoy Fairuz Fauzy participate in Friday’s first practice... The biggest news was the fact that a Lotus and Virgin apiece out qualified the Quartet of McLaren ‘N Ferrari!

So perhaps the pressure of whose boss will be performing Hostessing duties is being felt by the respective Drivers? As I find it ironic that ‘The scrumptious Juan (Trulli) was entangled with Glock, while KOVY ‘N Di Grassi played Wackem’ moe Ball with each other too... As both Teams saw a car apiece classified as finishing, with Jarno in P17 behind Virgin’s Di grassi’s 14th place finish, while the squad claims that Kovalainen did indeed finish the event even though he’s not classified, with unknown maladies.

No. 18) J. Trulli: Q) 18th; R) 17th (-5 laps)
No. 19) H. Kovalainen: Q) 15th; R) Retired; (18th)

Name Q R
Trulli 1 1
Kovalainen 2 2

Hispania Racing
I really don’t recall much being said about these Boyz, albeit they’ve now beaten Virgin to a double car race finish which is very impressive considering where the Team has come from, eh? Even more impressive is India’s Karun Chandhok’s complete reversal of fortunes, having now out qualified and finished ahead of Brazilian teammate Bruno Senna, who obviously bears the mighty weight of his last name.

No. 20) R-Karun Chandhok: Q) 22nd; R) 15th; (-3 laps)
No. 21) R-Bruno Senna: Q) 23rd; R) 16th; (-4 laps)

Name Q R
Chandhok 1 2
Senna 2 1

Virgin Racing
So unfortunately Timo Glock collided with Jarno Trulli at the beginning of the race, while the German claims he was much quicker then the rival Lotus Piloto... While it was his junior teammate garnering Virgin’s first race finish instead, as Di Grassi claimed he grabbed five spots on the races start before motoring home in fuel conservation mode after surviving a clipped front wing endplate courtesy of KOVY’s aggressive overtaking maneuver which resulted in a punctured rear tyre, while Technical Director Nick Wirth was quick to point out that they were the highest finisher of the NewBoyz today...

No. 24) T. Glock: Q) 16th; R) Retired; Spin (23rd)
No. 25) R-Lucas di Grassi: Q) 24th; R) 14th; (-3 laps)

Name Q R
Glock 3 2
Di Grassi 0 1

Q) = Qualifying;; R) = Race

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

INDYCAR: Picking a Good Barber

So I spent last weekend listening to the Indy Lights ‘N IndyCarz via le internets, albeit a most ANNOYING internets stream... Both Saturday & Sunday, 'cause I was interested in the Indy Lights race as a Barometer of what the Big Boyz race would be like...

And without going into a long winded tirade ‘bout Comcast ‘N Digg-it-Tull TV Boxes... I wanted to tape the MOTO GP LOONS from Qatar in favour of the Indy Car Series as I can only choose 'Juan at a time; But Hey! 324kph (201mph) on a “Scooter,” CRIKEYS!

So call me cynical, eh? But I began to wunder if the attendance claims being made were true? Especially since it was coming from the IMS Radio Network for two days straight, as Mike “Yippy-kai-Eh!” ‘N Mark James were just a few to say; "It's Great!" And then ‘Ye Windbag Dave Despain 'N Robin Miller chimed-in on SPEED’s Wind Tunnel and The Speed Report (TSR) claiming that they’d had great attendance.

Miller noted on TSR that approximately 45-50,000 attended Barber Motorsport Park's inaugural Indy Car race, but I remained skeptical a little while longer since the Gran Am boyz were there this weekend too, until multiple sources seem to confirm that there was indeed a nice crowd on-hand with approx. 85,000 total for the 3-Day event at the Barber’s... Yuhs seez, I was skeptical since this event was taking’ place in the Heart ‘O RASSCARLAND and thought it might just be some sorta backhand swipe at the 800lb Gorilla? But it sounds like a weekend at Portland in its heydays, albeit a little lower crowd number, but same type of flavour, so I’m glad for Indy Car!

Especially since I heard Terry “Where’s the Beef?” Angus, Err Ang-Stat proclaim it was the highest ever Attendance for an Indy Car event in Birmingham, AL; Oh Never Mind! Clever, eh?

And it struck me that both the FIL 'N ICS races had the same outcome; with each having a Driver trying to jump ahead for position for overall lead penalized on their respective race starts, which potentially cost both AFS-AA’s Charlie Kimball ‘N TCGR’s Scott Dixon victory. Although “Dixie” seemed to be much hotter under the collar then Kimball...

So I won’t bother tryin’ to recap the race... As I don’t want Yuhs to think I’ve got sour grapes over HULIO’s RALLY-RALLY-RALLY-BIG Win; SHEISA!

As other then Marco Andretti’s excellante pass upon the Dancin’ FOOL... There didn’t seem to be an overabundance of passing – Persei, eh?

And was it just me as that ‘Ol Sesame Street song which ‘Juan of these DON’T look like the others came to mind... With Mike Conway running in P2 during the early stages of the event, while Will Power ended up 4th due to pitting early whilst HULIO ran a fuel strategy race... Hmm? Penske’s 1st-4th-6th, Ganassi’s Boyz 2-3 with Marco - Where’s the FREAKIN’ Yellow? Andretti in P5, with the highest NON-BIG 3 being Justin ‘BIG UNIT Wilson in P7, who got around his teammate... As Conway finished 9th, while the resta my Top 5ish; ‘TAG came home 10th, while the ‘Grahaminator, nee Graham Rahal finished 17th, Swiss Miss Simona De Silvestro was scored in P21 and Taku-san was last in P25...

Yet the Box score doesn’t reflect the latter two’s real race as Simona ran a very impressive 5th place for the majority of the race before causing the late race Yellow flag Marco was looking for 4-laps after he’d pitted from the lead, while Takuma Sato suffered from an apparent throttle linkage break.

Yet Bertrand Baguette seemed to run a pretty quiet Debutant Indy Car race by keeping his nose clean and running home in P20, nipping at DannaCarz heels... Funny, how nobody’s talking ‘bout her lately, eh? While I didn’t get to hear Robin exclaim ‘bout the Lucky Milka! As that sounded like a wild pass when ‘TK (Tony Kanaan) ‘N ??? split the Wanderin’ Milka... Sorta like a Waltzing Matilda?

Next up is this week’s outing at Long Beach, CA, where Will Power could return to the front of the Queue, eh? Although I’d enjoy seeing the elder Wilson give Team England, Err D & R its first win in a Decade; Hmm? 3-Penske’s, 2-TCGR’s & 2-AA’s in Barber’s Top 10, with only Team England ‘N FAZZT breaking up the party...

So, should I drop into Versus this weekend to hear the great pontificating of the Hippy Dippy Weatherman, eh?

RO-RO! Another Fenderlandz rant

Yeah, and I AIN’T even guzzlin’ Nyquil... But, I’m still fighting this FREAKIN’ Cold, although I’m going on Holiday next week NO matter what; Yuhs hears FRILLIN’ Cold...

So today’s rant includes just a very fast look at a few Tin top developments of note, even if I’ve never been exactly enamoured by ‘Ol DC who I used to call “SquareJaw.” Amongst other not so PG rated thingy’s... As I suppose it’s silly to need to have villains in motor racing, eh?

Coulthard to DTM
In case you haven’t heard, Scottish ex-Formula 1 Piloto David Coulthard has agreed to compete in this year’s Deutch Touren Meisters (DTM) series as a Mercedes Benz competitor. ‘Ol DC will begin his Tin Top adventure at the upcoming Hockenheimring event behind the wheel of a 2008 Spec ‘Merc along with keeping his day job as an F1 Commentator for the BBC as his racing won’t interfere with this.

Grand Am to “Hookup” with DTM?
Interestingly during the Last Lap segment of the Speed Report, (TSR) it noted that reportedly the Grand Am Officials had flown Across-the-Pond to discuss a possible rules sharing package with the DTM? Which I’m guessing would be sorta like how the American le Mans Series runs off of the ACO’s rules for the 24 Heurs du Mans. As wouldn’t that be entertaining to see those silhouette ‘Merc Door Bangers bouncing around Day-Toner...

Thunder Down Under
Marc of Full Throttle has been covering the “Mega” SuperStarz gala entry list for the upcoming SuperCarnivul race at Surfers Paradise later this year, as the V8 Supercars take over the abruptly dropped Indy Car event which is a real fan favourite... (Not to mention how much the Sheila’s like it, eh?) Thus in order to spice up the show, Organizer’s have made it into a SuperStarz showdown with the likes of Chip Ganassi’s IndyCar Boyz, Team Penske’s Aussie Twins, etc. Check it out here; SuperCarnivul update

Monday, April 12, 2010


So I’m guessin’ Y’all are lookin’ for the roundup on yesterday’s racing action, eh? And hopefully I WON’T scare Yuhs all off again... As everybody seemed to JUMP ship when I tried warning Y’all that my No Fenders site might be having a temporary blackout in; WARNING: to Blackout?

But it appears that my Blogmeister has a plan which I certainly hope pans out, eh? As I’ve been trying to do some behind the scenes maintenance whilst in the midst of fighting a NEVER ending COLD; Aye Karumba! As its kinda like our weather up here; cold, rainy, cold, sunny-but COLD! Blah-blah-blah... And try laying low to kill a cold when they’re replacing the carpet directly above you and it sounds like Ed McMahon ‘N his WWF Crew are using your ceiling as their wrassling mat! (BUTT DON’T bother to fix the overly creaky floor joints; SHEISA!) But I digress...

And I’m trying to get the work done before I go off on a long needed Holiday break away from this blasted Confuzer next week, so please be patient as I’m trying to run around in the kitchen with NO Cooks, so to speak, eh? And now I know what the Postman must feel like, you know; neither rain, sleet, snow, etc.

Saturday, April 10, 2010

A long day at the Barber’s

So I just finished watching a somewhat entertaining Grand Am race from this weekend’s featured venue, the Barber Motorsports Park down ‘dar in Sweet Home Alabama.

And what’s the Dealio with As this morning in the DARK, It took an excruciating 14mins to get a FREAKIN’ internets connection... C’mon, you’ve gotta be joking! Especially at six FRILLIN’ A.M. in the morning; CRIKEYS!

So it was 6:27AM when I finally got the melodic rhapsody ‘O Mark James Baritone voice to finally come on ‘Duh Blower, having missed approx. the first 18min of Firestone Indy Lights action, as it seemed somewhat ironic that Don Kay’s Autosport Radio guest J.K. Vernay ‘N James “Hinch Town” Hinchcliffe were fighting it out for the Pole Position, with ‘Hinge dropping from P2 to P5 on the final lap, while Vernay, who’s ironically driving Hinchcliffe’s No. 7 Sam Schmidt mount of last season snatched his very first FIL Pole... Also it was entertaining to learn that ‘Hinge’s (Indiana?) Roommate is none other then Phillip Major “Tom,” the Kuh-Nuck who took him outta round 1 at St. Pete with his first lap Bonsai move!

Then as “Aunty Harriet” likes to call ‘Dem, the Big Boyz were next up, as it was time for Fast Six Indy Car Qualifying... As you’ll never guess who was untouchable once again on another Twisty circuit... Yep, that’s correct; it was Will Power putting on a show, as the guy is simply blindingly quick! Yet it was his front row companion who was the surprise of the show, as it was a Dryer & Reinbold car, but not Justin ‘BIG UNIT Wilson... Instead it was Mike Conway who broke up the Team Penske party, with HULIO knocked back to P3 with Marco Andretti alongside. Rounding out the top six was Scott Dixon with Takuma Sato in his Team Lotus livery Dallara Honda.

And the biggest issue for the Grand Am racers seemed to be the massive accumulation of “Klag,” a.k.a. marbles or rubber build-up from the tyre wear making it very difficult to go offline to attempt passing anybody on what has been called a difficult circuit to pass on...

And it was pretty funny that Scott Pruett won again for Chip Ganassi, with Ryan Dalziel third, Memo Gidley fourth and Buddy Rice sixth, since all of these ‘Boyz are ex-Open Wheeler IndyCar Starz. Now what to due, eh? As the Indy Car race is on Versus tomorrow at the same time as the Qatar MOTO GP race on SPEED...

Formula One’s Two Wheeler’s kickoff 2010 Season in Qatar

(Nicky Hayden; Source: Randy

This weekend the 62nd FIM World Championship will kick off its season with its now traditional night race under the Desert Stars of Qatar at the Losail International Circuit.

Look for a field of 17 riders to contest the season, with 16 of them trying to knock “The Doctor,” a.k.a. Valentino Rossi from his perch of invincible World Champion...

As the diminutive Italian will make his Championship defense aboard his No. 46 FIAT-Yamaha with Spanish teammate George Lorenzo nipping at his heels, as Lorenzo tries to finally wrestle the crown away from Rossi, who’s miles ahead with an astounding 103 wins from 227 starts, complementing his massive seven Top-rung MOTO GP World Championships... (9 total including 125GP & 250GP)

Ducati Corse’s Casey Stoner seems to have recovered fully from his unspecified illness last year and was fastest in the final Pre-season test session in Qatar, whilst seeking to win his fourth night race, not to mention taking back the title, while “The Kentucky Kid,” nee Nicky Hayden returns as Stoner’s teammate for his Sophomore season with the Italian concern.

Other potential race winners probably include the Repsol Honda duo of Andrea Dovizioso and Dani Pedrosa, While Pedrosa could even be a potential World Champion Dark horse?

Yet for Mwah, the Team I’m most interested in is unofficially known as Team Texas... Err, Monster-Yamaha Tech 3 Which sees Rookie Ben Spies join elder Texan ‘N Teammate Colin Edwards, who’s now in his seventh MOTO GP season, and unlike spies, who joins the Crème de la Crème of Motorcycle Road Racing as the reigning World SuperBike Champion, Edwards has won that series twice...

Interestingly, Edwards is the oldest of the trio of American riders at 36yrs old, with Hayden next at 28yrs old and Spies the “Baby” of the group at just 25 years young.

Yet only Hayden has captured the No. 1 plate to date, winning the World Championship back in 2006 for Honda, while Edwards and Spies still are chasing the extremely elusive crown.

Colin Edwards
Nicknamed the “Texas Tornado,” Edwards began racing in MOTO GP in 2003 and finished 5th in the Championship last season thanks in part to Spies finishing ahead of his rival in the final round of last year’s Championship, as it’ll be entertaining to see who wins the battle between the Texas Twins...

Team: Monster-Yamaha Tech 3
Mount: Yamaha YZR-M1
No. 5
Starts: 103
Poles: 3
Wins: 0
Podiums: 10

Ben Spies
Spies’s nickname is “Elbowz” due to his elbows out riding style... Yet the 25yr old has a very impressive pedigree, having won the AMA SuperBike title three years in-a-row; 2006-07-08 before winning the World SuperBike title in his rookie season last year. Spies made three Wildcard MOTO GP starts in 2008 before an additional start at the Season Finale last year and has scored three Top 10 finishes out of these four starts...

Team: Monster-Yamaha Tech 3
Mount: Yamaha YZR-M1
No. 11
Starts: 4
Poles: 0
Wins: 0
Podiums: 0

Nicky Hayden
Known as “the Kentucky Kid,” Nicky is the only rider of this American trio to have won races and a Championship, yet he was vastly overshadowed by his Aussie teammate Casey Stoner last year and is hoping to have a better season in 2010, albeit Hayden did snatch a much deserved third place finish at Indianapolis last year...

Team: Ducati Marlboro Team (Ducati Corse)
Mount: Ducati Desmosedici GP10
No. 69
Starts: 116
Poles: 5
Wins: 3
Podiums: 26

So nicely timed was Hayden’s appearance on Wind Tunnel this past Sunday night as a precursor to this weekend’s race outing which I’ll be tuning into at 1PM Pacific on SPEED. As it was interesting to hear Nicky discuss how the Ducati’s carbon fibre frame is a whole different animal compared to his earlier Honda days... And contrary to popular belief, you cannot simply out-muskel the ‘DUC and instead need to use an incredible amount of finesse to coax the maximum performance out of the bike, which is totally different then he’s used too, but he’s learning to adapt and hopes to do much better this Sophomore season with the Italian concern.

For humour Dave Despain prodded him on whether or not he’d gotten any phone calls from Maranello about a future four wheel career after having beaten the Ferrari “Stud’s” in the annual Ducati-Ferrari winter Go Karting event...

Yet I’m curious to see how the little known (Privateer) Satellite squad Pramac Racing Team fairs with its GP10 “Duc’s,” (Ducati) which will be campaigned by Finland’s Mika Kallio and Spain’s Aleix Espargaro...

Friday, April 9, 2010

Round Mound to tower over ‘Indycarz

Yep, I know I’m supposed to be getting’ all excited ‘bout the Indy Car’s trip to the Barber this weekend... As I’ll most likely be getting up extremely early just to drop-in to the soothing????? Raspy sounds of Mark James & Kevin Lee calling the Firestone Indy Lights “Qualie” session Saturday morning at an obnoxiously early 6:15AM West Coast time... Immediately followed by the Big Boyz at 7:15AM Pacific; Aye Karumba! All just in order to squeeze in some Grand Am Thunder, but I digress...

As this weekend’s Grand Marshall of Festivities for the “AllaBammie” Grand Prix will be none other then Sir Charles, a.k.a. Charles Barkley who was once known as the Round Mound ‘O Rebound due to his enormous girth whilst having an unbelievable ability to snare an enormous amount of rebounds over his much taller adversaries.

Yet, it was a long-long Time Ago when I saw Sir Charles cutting his swath towards stardom during his early years with the 76ers, way back in 1987 during Doctor J’s Swan Song year in the NBA; CRIKEYS! As I can still recall Barkley in his all white “uny” with a buzz cut before he went Air Jordan style... In what was then known as simply as the coliseum, before later being renamed Key Arena when the Seattle Supersonics still existed in the Pacific Northwest!

But I’ve been able to find very little regarding Sir Charles activities this coming weekend in his Home state, where he’s confessed to ‘Juan day wanting to dabble in Politics, even reportedly announcing his candidacy for Alabama Governor in 2014, albeit probably after his TNT Studio Analyst Dazes, eh?

As The Chuckster’s appointment makes me flash back to The Big Cactus’s duties as Indy Car Grand Marshall last year at TMS; Y’all know everything’s BIGGER in Texas, right? As that seems like a perfect fit for Texas Motor Speedway’s Front man extraordinaire Eddie “The Goose” Gossage...

Recall that Shaq also took part in a Pitstop Demonstration as a tyre changer for the then simply Luczo Dragon Racing Team, before The Big Diesel simply picked up Rafa’s entire racecar to speed-up the proceedings...

And all this talk of large-ish black men makes me think of somebody named Cedric the Entertainer who went the extra mile and was actually a Champ Car Team Owner alongside Keith Wiggins. So I’m wondering what Mr. Barkley will have to say when telling those IZOD Kids to start ‘Dem motors...

Thursday, April 8, 2010

F1: 2010 Australian GP highlights

Round 2 of 19
(Melbourne, Australia: March 28, 2010)

Whale I even managed to stay up into the wee hours of the morning two nights in a row to watch all of the action from Down Under... As after what many critics were calling “Bore-Rain,’ in regards to the season opening Bahrain GP, there’s nothing like a little precipitation to throw a “Cat amongst the Pigeon’s,” eh? As there’s nothing like seeing three World Champions with 10 Titles amongst them go into a three wide scrum in the first corner, as “M. ScueMawker, Fredrico Suave (Alonso) and ‘JENSE” (Button) all fought for their place at the front with Schumacher coming out the worst, having to pit for a new front nose, before settling into a long period of playing what must have seemed like Groundhog Day... As the Grid’s elder statesman battled all race long against the Spanish “Punk” (Jaime Alguersuari) who’s just turned a whopping 20yrs old!

The day prior had seen ‘ZEBB (Vettel) spoil Aussie Homeboy Mark Webber’s parade by snatching his second Pole of the season, with Webber alongside for Red Bull’s very first ever front row lockout, with the rest of the Top 8 filling in the rest of the first five rows, with the only unexpected casualty being “Louise” Hamilton who would be starting from P11, while ‘rubino, Kubica and Sutil all made it into Q3.

Other Top 10 Qualifiers
P8) R. Barrichello; Williams
P9) R. Kubica; Renault
P10) A. Sutil; Force India

Yet it wasn’t to be as Vettel once again retired whilst leading the race... While everybody had scrambled onto Intermediate Rubber due to the wet stuff falling, while after being passed by Hamilton, ‘JENSE was the very first brave soul to pit for “Slicks” on lap 6 and make it work all the way to the end, with the others trying to catch up...

Other Point Scorers
P2) R. Kubica; Renault
P7) V. Luzzi; Force India
P8) R. Barrichello; Williams

Race Drive of Australia
This pick seems easy to me, as I’m giving it to “The Krakow Kid,” a.k.a. Robert Kubica who seemed overshadowed by Button’s blast and the mighty scrum behind him, as the Pole held off both Ferrari’s, a McLaren, two Mercedes, the second Red Bull and the others, so good job Bob!

This season I’m focusing upon what I’m referring to as the “Top 8;” McLaren, Mercedes, Red Bull and Ferrari, which I expect both the Drivers and Constructors Titles to be won by these select eight participants, yet the Q3 Pole Shoot-out and Points both go to the Top 10 Competitors, so I’ll also provide any names of Drivers who make the cut that don’t belong to the top 8.

Talk about your tale of two races, eh? As ‘JENSE seemingly came from nowhere after having played “BumperCarz,” before being the first to gamble and switch over to Slicks after the brief rain shower, then amazingly drove the next 52 laps on these tyres, in what was a great victory for the Briton... While Lewis Hamilton seemed to have a “Sophomorish” meltdown while slamming his team over the radio, as he’d simply worn out his Bridgestone rubber trying to chase down the Ferrari’s ahead of him, before Webber tried running over him...

No. 1) J. Button: Q) 4th; R) Winner
No. 2) L. Hamilton: Q) 11th; R) 6th
(Car No; Driver)

Name Q R
Button 1 1
Hamilton 1 1
(Head-to-Head Standings)

“Ro-Ro,” as I don’t seem to recall Nico’s race at all, although apparently he slipped past the dueling Webber – Hamilton Scrum and took the place ahead of them after their coming together, having previously pitted for new tyres to hopefully close the gap on the cars ahead of him. But Michael had a more eventful race having bloodied his nose at the start and having to play Ketsup the rest of the race, dueling with Alguersuari for a long time before ultimately grabbing the final point with his 10th place finish.

No. 3) M. Schumacher: Q) 7th; R) 10th
No. 4) N. Rosberg: Q) 6th; R) 5th

Name Q R
Schumacher 0 0
Rosberg 2 2

Red Bull
Whale I simply don’t understand what’s going on here; as ‘ZEBB has had the first two races by the scruff of the neck only to let them slip away due to mechanical gremlins! Claiming this time a front brake failure, while the local hero, “Homeboy” Webber had a mighty tussle with ‘JAGUAR before falling behind in the waning moments of the race... Yet Brembo was quick to issue a Press Release saying it was NOT a brake failure, to which the Team has subsequently acknowledged, whilst claiming to not fully understand what the exact cause was? Psst! We DON’T wanna tell our Opposition, Mates!

No. 5) S. Vettel: Q) Pole; R) Retired; Brakes/Spin (17th)
No. 6) M. Webber: Q) 2nd; R) 9th

Name Q R
Vettel 2 1
Webber 0 1

I only seem to recall a few fuzzy thoughts for the Scuderia Duo, most notably my happiness over Felipe finishing ahead of Fernando... As Massa apparently made a very good start from P5 to P2 on the first lap while Ferdi went to the rear after playing Wackem-O’ball with ‘JENSE ‘N Schuey... As Ferrari opted like Button and Kubica to stay out on worn rubber for extended running in order to garner points, as I think Massa held off Alonso in some “Criss-Crossing” manouvers? Yet Fredrico had my favourite radio call of the race, when his Engineer informed him that Hamilton was only 3.5 seconds behind (and closing) The Spaniard replied “I DON’T WANNA KNOW!”

No. 7) F. Massa: Q) 5th; R) 3rd
No. 8) F. Alonso: Q) 3rd; R) 4th

Name Q R
Massa 1 1
Alonso 1 1

2010 NewBoyz
The biggest noise made by this trio has to be Virgin’s fuel tank gaff, as I’m still quite baffled how Nick Wirth could have gotten the tank’s volume parameters so wrong, as suggestions claim that they’re either 12, 13, 15 or 20 liters shy of finishing a full race distance at some venues, while the other three “Cossie” (Cosworth) runners seem to have all gotten their sums correct!

Once again “KOVY” (Heikki Kovalainen) did a Yeoman’s job of finishing his second race in a row for the upstart Team and once again was the highest placed finisher amongst the Trio le NewBoyz, while The Scrumptious ‘Juan’s *Jarno Trulli) day wasn’t exactly what he or the team ordered, when a Hydraulic Power pack failure on the Grid prior to the lights going Green caused his premature retirement.

No. 18) J. Trulli: Q) 20th; R) Retired; Hydraulics (24th)
No. 19) H. Kovalainen: Q) 19th; R) 13th (-2 laps)

Name Q R
Trulli 1 0
Kovalainen 1 2

Hispania Racing
What a difference a Fortnight makes, as Karun Chandhok who literally had a total of 5-laps in Bahrain, pleasantly surprised everyone by finishing his very first Grand Prix, and to boot, just one place behind Lotus’s KOVY in P14. Unfortunately Bruno Senna’s day didn’t fare anywhere’s as well, as the Brazilian had a Hydraulics’ failure, a la the second Lotus of Trulli, albeit a different sort of hydraulics malady.

No. 20) R-Karun Chandhok: Q) 24th; R) 14th; (-5 laps)
No. 21) R-Bruno Senna: Q) 23rd; R) Retired; Hydraulics (20th)

Name Q R
Chandhok 0 1
Senna 2 1

Virgin Racing
Due to the Virgin’s Fuel Tank capacity caper... Both cars started from Pit lane upon having finished internal modifications late, regarding setting the cars back to an earlier fuel saving consumption mode, along with requiring the Driver’s to utilize a very conservative strategy... Di Grassi was first to retire with an Hydraulics failure, thought to be an internal leak, while Glock’s suspension failure was attributed to some rear bracket failing, which allowed the rear suspension’s shims to dislodge... Hmm? You’d think Formula 1 chassis would be a little “HigherTech” wouldn’t Y’all? As Glock’s failure makes me think of Professor Matchett hammering Renault over Rookie Vitaly Petrov’s front suspension shim failure in Bahrain... Oh Whale! At least Timo admitted to enjoying his dustup with DER TERMINATOR (Schumacher) ‘N Chandhok before his retirement!

No. 24) T. Glock: Q) 21st; R) Retired; Suspension (15th)
No. 25) R-Lucas di Grassi: Q) 22nd; R) Retired; Hydraulics (16th)

Name Q R
Glock 2 2
Di Grassi 0 0

Q) = Qualifying;; R) = Race

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

WARNING: to Blackout?

Without going into the long winded rant I wrote about this story for future posting, It has been brought to my attention upon spending the morning discussing the travails of my current ‘Vurd Butchering... That perhaps I’d better warn my loyal No readers of a massive change that is most likely set to impact my site in the very near future...

Since beginning this blog in “ZeppTember” (September) of Twenty-Oh-Six, (2006) I have been publishing my racing stories thru the Blogger.Com blog platform which is owned by Google. Unfortunately it is an OLD style FTP blog which Google/Blogger.Com will NO longer be supporting as of Saturday, May 1, 2010.

Thus at the moment, I do NOT know how my dedicated Blogmeister Miguel will be able to rectify this matter? Or what the final impact – outcome will be? As we’re hoping to continue on bringing you the latest happenings of the Motorsports ‘Vurld via the internet Custom Domain of

You can follow-up the latest developments at my other temporary address:

If you wish to read some of the Techno-babble over what this FTP NIGHTMARE is all about, click here. And fear not, I will continue to scribble ‘bout Motorsports until the impending Blackout deadline and beyond.

Thank you for your continued interest and support... And now back to my latest Motorsports scribblings, with more to follow; obviously!

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

F1 TECH: New fuel tanks, trick wheels ‘N wings and tilted lumps

As I’m sure Y’all are painfully aware of by now, this year’s Formula 1 Challengers have become “BRAWNIER,” Err longer ‘N bulkier due to the new in-race refueling ban and hence the fuel tanks have effectively doubled in size. Although I cannot find any pertinent info on exact regulations, it appears that the fuel tanks have stretched from a maximum of 90 liters to approx. 250 liters. Thus, I’M assuming that THE Teams were free to play with the exact shape of said tanks which therefore can become either longer, wider or a combination of both.

The SPEED lads have noted that the increased fuel capacity now weighs about an extra 300lbs on a chassis who’s minimum weight has been increased to 620kg, (1,367lbs) from 605kg, (1,334lbs) having been done so for the usage of KERS vs. taller/larger Drivers being penalized for their additional mass...

Meanwhile there are several developments occurring constantly in Formula 1 as after all F1 NEVER SLEEPS! With some of these being:

The Mercedes MGP W01 is claimed to be utilizing a triangular shaped Airbox with some sort of splitter inside it vs. the traditional round/oval roll hoop structures for some sort of increased airflow/downforce.

The McLaren MP4-25 is running some sort of side body air snorkel contraption to reportedly dump air onto the rear wing to make it stall predictably to increase the car’s straight-line speed.

The Ferrari F10 and Red Bull RB6 have reportedly tilted the angle of their engine’s installation in order to allow for increasing the size/room of the all important rear diffuser, with claims that Ferrari’s 056 V8 lump is angled at 3.5 degrees, while Red Bull has altered the angle of the Gearbox, which also alters the rear suspension while McLaren is said to be utilizing a long/thin Gearbox to aid in its Aero-treatment.

Ferrari has come up with a new wheel molding that casts an Aerodynamic effect into it, along with auto locking wheel nut catches.

And with all of the conjecture over the RB6’s rear bodywork’s exhaust location, one has to ponder if this caused any trouble with Sebastian Vetttel’s car while he was leading in Bahrain? (As NO! It was a Spark Plug, yeah that’s the ticket...) As Mark Webber was previously sidelined with some sort of cooling/exhaust issues during practice.

For a better explanation of some of these developments, you may wish to check out James Allen’s new Tech Talk posts...

James Allen: Bahrain Tech Talk

James Allen: Melbourne Tech Talk

James Allen: Sepang Tech Talk

Monday, April 5, 2010

Virgin comes up short

Sitting down to watch my recorded Thursday night’s SPEED TV coverage of Formula 1 practice Down Under, in Melbourne, Australia Friday morning, it was entertaining to hear “Westminster Newberry,” Err Westberry Gillette; sorry ‘bout ‘Dat - Inside Joke! As ‘Ol Wes actually rung me up during SPEED’s replay of the Bahrain “Qualie” session... Telling me I needed to put meeze ears ups tooze duh phone ‘cause its really LOUD in the Pit lane and he didn’t want me to be sleeping thru the Time change! But I digress...

As Wes Gillette claimed that the buzz in the F1 Paddock was over the comments that the Virgin Racing VR01’s fuel tank was 12 liters too SMALL! And that the driver’s were gonna need to Pussy-foot about the circuit in order to stroke it home... Although Professor (Steve) Matchett was fairly blunt over the matter saying I DON’T think they really need to worry ‘bout it, as reliability is more of a problem for them at the moment, scoffing; if I was Virgin I’d simply filler-up with 60 liters and tell the drivers to go like HELL ‘til it darn Blown Up! To which Bob Varsha chortled in; or runs outta petrol...

And Professor Matchett quickly said; there’s NO dimensional requirements to the fuel tank’s size, albeit the Kevlar/rubber bladders are exactly the size of the tank and thus to increase it means you’d need to redesign the chassis!

Yet a USF1 Blog post on 2010 Fuel Tank design sheds a little further light on their design criteria. As it appears that there is indeed a maximum width dimension along with strick locations of the fuel tank’s placement behind the driver and ahead of the engine, therefore causing the chassis wheel length to grow approx. 20-22cm, with the McLaren MP4-25 thought to be the longest?

And Westberry Gillette noted that it seemed that the F1 Teams were thought to be carrying approx. 170 liters of fuel for the event at a usage (“Burn) consumption rate of 2.8 liters per lap... Why Oh Why does this all seem like a blur now? As AIn’T it SWELL how time flies...

So afterwards I sat down to try doing some writh-muh-ticken... Which is always a dangerous proposition and I’m certain some sharp Mathematician will prove my numbers to be horribly wrong, eh?

Yet I just cannot simply conceive how Nick Wirth ‘N Co. could get their numbers so WRONG? I mean the other three “Cossie” (Cosworth) runners have managed to run their numbers correctly and include a proper size fuel cell in their respective chassis... As the Virgin AIN’T gonna be a Virgin NO More, eh?

Virgin to redesign car because fuel tank is too small

F1 Math Question

Apparently my headache wasn’t throbbing hard enough when I first heard the news... And therefore I tried performing the following math question, to see if I could make my headache even worse?

Liters to gallons = X 0.264.
Gallons to pounds = X 8.35
Pounds to kilograms = X 0.454

12 X 0.264 = 3.168
3.168 X 8.35 = 26.4528lbs
26.453 X 0.454 = 12.00962

Therefore 12 liters = 3.168 gallons.
3.168 gallons = 26.4528 pounds
26.453lbs = 12 kilograms

And then multiply/divide that by Professor Matchett’s Kilos vs. seconds per lap time which I cannot recall at the moment...

Thus I am once again quickly reminded why I never tried to become an engineer! But I’d hazard to guess that the Virgin’s fuel tank was built this way on purpose to produce slightly faster lap times? As it’ll be interesting to learn whether there will be a VR01B or simply an all new monocoque? As I’m still quite befuddled by how Nick Wirth could have gotten these figures so WRONG? I mean, that cannot be a simple CFD mistake, eh?

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Fernando’s Rotten Egg

Whale I must say that I joyously shouted out loud when Fredrico Suave, a.k.a. Fernando Alonso DONE BLOWN UP! With just two laps remaining in today’s overly intense Malaysian GP... As he was doing a masterful job of driving around a muddled Gearbox which I must say sounded quite nasty...

And although I mused to myself how this seemingly put Ferdi into the annals of Schumacher lore; recall Michael’s amazing drive in the Benetton way back in 1994 at the Spanish Grand Prix, when being stuck in 5th gear for the majority of the event, nevertheless the German brought his stricken ride home runner-up behind Arch-nemesis Damon Hill...

And that’s the difference folks, as Michael preserved his equipment and finished the race, whilst Alonso thrashed his unnecessarily trying to beat ‘JENSE in his rival’s Team McLaren over a lowly eighth place... Hmm? Is Alonso still reeling over his troubles of driving at McLaren? Hence Alonso was classified 13th and I’ll be most intrigued to see if Fredrico loses the Crown by a scant two points, which he would have scored by finishing in P9...

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Winging it in KL

So I’m feeling a bit like being in Kuala Lumpur this weekend, albeit not quite the downpour, but very windy nonetheless... As I find it somewhat bemusing how everybody; including the FIA knows that it RAINS every day in Malaysia at almost exactly the same time every afternoon, when guess what? That’s right in the midst of Qualifying – plus the Race!

So you’d think that all of the “Heavy Hitters” would indeed go out early in Q1 and put a “Flyer” in the Bank... As ‘Hobbo, a.k.a. David Hobbs likes to say, but NO! Most amazingly the Scuderia, nee Ferrari sat contently in the Garage, with perennial arch rival McLaren following along, hoping for the WET stuff which had shown up right on “Que” to dissipate before the end of the 20min session... While we were witness to first Lewis Hamilton doing a snap spin before his teammate Jenson Button simply Aquaplaned into the Kitty litter where he sat with his Mercedes lump idling in hopes of getting pulled out of the gravel trap while in P13... But to NO avail! As if to show just how rough the conditions were, Michael Schumacher ended up in 14th even after having pitted to put full WET’s on his racecar... Although it was the trio of Heavy Hitters that I must confess I was rooting against.

As with less then 6mins remaining both Ferrari’s and the lone McLaren were ALL outside of P17 and in danger of not making it thru the Q1 “Qualie” session as I cheered mightily against ‘JAGUAR (Hamilton) ‘N ‘Fredrico (Alonso) making it! As they’d simply messed-up their respective strategies... Albeit I had a good chuckle over “Bosom Buddies” Alonso snatching P19 away from Hamilton in the waning moments, as shockingly Fernando will start in Row 10 alongside his good friend “Louise” (Hamilton; 20th) with Felipe Massa directly behind rolling off in P21. As it’s the very first time ever since Knock-out Qualifying began that both Ferrari’s have FAILED to advance out of Q1!

And although ‘JENSE did survive Q1 in 13th, he was unable to return his beached MP4-25 to the Pit lane in time to proceed into Q2 and therefore will line up 17th alongside The Scrumptious ‘Juan, a.k.a. Jarno Trulli in his Hometown Lotus affair, while all four of the mighty McLaren’s & Ferrari’s start behind “KOVY’s” (H. Kovalainen) Lotus in P15 and Virgin Racing’s Timo Glock in P16, both drivers having made it into Q2 for the first time in their respective Team’s short history’s, as only the second Virgin and Both Hispania Car’s start further back then those mighty “Big bucks” Constructor’s...

And Q2 was another entertaining session as I found myself rooting for “The Old Man,” DER TERMINATOR – better known as M. Schumacher who scraped his way into Q3 by finishing on the bubble in P10.

And then the RAIN came again with Q3 being Red flagged with 7+ minutes remaining as the circuit had become a veritable Lake Sepang with standing water everywhere apparently NOT being conducive to surfing the Formula 1 LandShark’s with their mandatory FIA “Legality Planks” underneath their ultra low ride heights... As the Final Session featured an interesting cast of Grand Prix Animals going in 2-by-2 fashion...

As both Red Bulls, Mercedes, Williams and Force India’s made the Top 10, with The Krakow Kid, nee Robert Kubica in the Frey, plus first time Debutant Kamui Kobayashi for the somewhat maligned Sauber concern... Although it possibly would have been better to lose his front wing this weekend instead, as the Team has now reinforced the C29’s Front Wing pylons...

And it was the Red Bull on top again, but not who Y’all are guessing, as it was Mark Webber instead, as I’ve just realized that the lone Aussie has Four Germans behind him... With Nico Rosberg claiming his first Front Row start with ‘ZEBB (Vettel) in P3 and Adrian Sutil alongside in P4.

Schuey will roll off a disappointing 8th, while ‘Rubino (Barrichello) was finally out qualified by his younger teammate Nico Hulkenberg (5th) and the ageless Brazilian will start alongside his ‘Chum Michael in 7th. Kubica was a fine 6th, while New Boy Kobayashi will start from 9th with Vitantonio Liuzzi next to him in P10.

And there was some idle(?) speculation made about how perhaps the Teams with both cars in Q3 had put their Driver’s on different set-ups to cover the range of possible weather? Although I think it’s supposed to Rain again tomorrow, about halfway thru the Race, as apparently Uncle Bernaughty wants to insure there will be another Spectale du Jour!

Friday, April 2, 2010

Fans groove Bernard

This past Tuesday Don Kay’s guest on the Autosport Radio Show was none other then somebody named Randy Bernard... Yep, as in the newly appointed CEO of the Indy Racing League, as this was the third time I’ve heard Mr. Bernard speak. First on Trackside with Kevin ‘N Cavin and then on wind Tunnel with Robin Miller guest hosting... And all I can say is WOW! The more I listen to Randy “Andy,” apparently an inside joke according to Jeff of My Name is IRL... Something to do with some TV show I’ve never seen, but I digress... I’m just overly impressed by Mr. Bernard’s charisma, as he’s just a breath of fresh air and seems like a really good fit to lead the league into the future... As could you imagine Tony George not only taking an hour plus out of his schedule to go on some little webcast program... And then saying he’d like to stay afterwards and talk, and Meet ‘N Mingle with everybody! Not to mention wanting to potentially establish an email correspondence with Fans; Aye Karumba! So you may want to listen to the Archived show by clicking here... And yep, that was my question that don asked about (when in the HELL) will Indy Car return to Portland?

While there was NO word on what Mr. Bernard plans to do to mesmerize jaundiced Old Timers over The Speedway’s infamous “Powder Rooms...” While hopefully he’ll leave the Tenderloin Sandwiches alone, eh?

Good Luck Mr. Bernard!