Monday, August 9, 2010

Hey Car No. 10 – Turn DOWN your Radio!

So it seemed to be the most aggravating ‘O circumstances yesterday, which also happened to be Seafair Sunday... As I went from the usual ritual of tryin’ to pull-up a decent indycar.com Indy Lights “live” stream: Herroe? Herroe? Can you hear me now? As alas, it only took three tries this morning, as the first two connections were barely audible... But I did manage to get the whole internets broadcast as WTF? What in the HELL is the Dealio with Mid Ohio still using Armco? As the FIL race was slightly delayed in order to cut ‘N splice in some new bits after a last lap collision by a Sports Car during its support race; SHEISA!

Then I amazingly tuned in “Just-in-Time” for the start of the race as my ‘Clicker were getting’ a workout between the Seafair coverage ‘N IndyCarz race... As I listened to the final few moments of Robbie ‘N Jon before it was time to Boogity-Boogity-Boogity! (BARF!)

And then the unthinkable happened... As it could only happen to Mwah, as upon lap 13 the upstairs neighbors decided it was time to ‘Busta Move... Turning on their CRAP!!! Err RAP on duh Stereo to level nine... Number Nine? Number Nine? Number Nine? TURN YOUR FUCKING CRAP DOWN!!! I’m trying to watch the Indy Car race – JACKALOPES!!!

Yet this LUV-lee rhapsody ‘O CRAP proceeded; fine I can play too, albeit those Honda lumps just DON’T sound like the racetrack even when you’ve got your TV’s volume cranked-up somewheres past level 43... Yet it didn’t do a DAMN thingy, as I could still hear MC Hammer croonin’ CAN’T TOUCH THIS... Oh Fiddlesticks!!! I feel another Meesh torrent ‘O F-BOMBS coming on here... As the RACKETT, Err NOISE continued somewheres north of lap 52, which made my following of the race utterly incoherent and miserable... NOT to mention elevating my blood pressure; SHEISA! KNOCK IT OFF YOU DICKWEEDS!!! As the NOISE subsided somewhat as ‘TAG came in for his final Pitstop after leading for 30 laps... Way to go Tagliani!

And then the ‘lil SHITHEADS left and the NOISE stopped as I could hear Bob Jenkins tell me there were 29 laps remaining, as somehow Dario “REO Speedwagon” Franchitti was now leading over Will Power ‘N Hulio... Although the ringing in my head had NOT abated; Oh Never Mind!

And then it was the end of the race with 30mins to kill, as Versus teased us with Franchitti’s victory speech coming up next: Commercial-Blue angels- Commercial-Blue angels- Commercial-Blue angels- Commercial-Blue angels-Franchitti, SHIT! As I missed the beginning as Ye ‘Ol Clicker was in full ADHD syndrome... As I was totally FRIED by this time, although I did get to hear Dario admit it was basically a NO passing track and he’d simply gotten Will during the Pitstop’s... As Mr. BRUT Arute-Arute babbled on ‘bout the Ganassi Triple, Dario chortled that in his home country they called it a Hat Trick... As ‘Cheep’s teams won the Grand Am, CUP ‘N Indy Car races this weekend.

So I decided I’d go for a walk and of course I somehow caught up with two “Tough Looking Hood Boyz in their Pro Team logo knockoffs...” Supposedly lookin’ for Blackberries in duh Bushes... Saunterin’ along directly in front of me, eventually goin’ off on an F-BOMB tyrade, whilst stopping every so often to confuse me as the one kept wiping his shoe on the sidewalk directly in front of my path, potentially having stepped upon some Doggie DuDu? SWELL! While as I try hunting ‘N peckin’ out this riveting story the ‘lil Chee-WOW-Wah across the way is having another barking tick as apparently the drapes are all a flutter in the light breeze... Aye Karumba!

Did I mention yet how much I’d still rather be Trackside in Edmonton, Eh!

As I’ll need...
I'll need a, a credit card that's got no limitAnd a big black jet with a bedroom in itGonna join the mile high club At thirty-seven thousand feet(Been there done that)I want a new tour bus full of old guitarsMy own star on Hollywood BoulevardSomewhere between Cher and James Dean is fine for me

(So how you gonna do it?)I'm gonna trade this life for fortune and fameI'd even cut my hair and change my name['Cause we all just wanna be big rockstarsLivin' in hilltop houses driving fifteen carsThe girls come easy and the drugs come cheapWe'll all stay skinny cause we just won't eat
Hey hey I wanna be a rockstarHey hey I wanna be a rockstar...
(NickleBack Rock Star song lyrics)

3 comments:

  1. No comment about no Prtland race next year?

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  2. Hmm? Does that mean your Peyton's Stunt Double? And I'll gladly pay you Thursday for a Portland IndyCar/American Le Mans Series Double Header Today!

    And speaking of Mr. Peyton... Do you have any surplus Colts doormats available for a very slight nominal fee?

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  3. The Colts will never be doormats as long as 18 is here. Let's hear something about the 20 car!! Maybe not since only you and I are the only ones who give a shi- about it according to "Little Robin"

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