Monday, August 31, 2009

Taku ‘N the Dragons

So reportedly IRL’s Dark side ‘O written word… As Will of Is it May Yet chronicled how OWR Curmudgeon Robin Miller was Darth Vader (Otay, I made that ‘lil bit up…) and Kurt Cabin was “Obi ‘Juan Kenobi,” which makes sense since in my interview with Mr. Miller he noted how he’d been instrumental in Cabin’s hiring at the Indy Star, but I digress…

As Miller has reported that apparently Taku-San, nee Takuma Sato will make his Indy Car debut at the 2009 IRL season finale at Homestead aboard a second Luczo-Dragon Racing entry, which makes me wonder if this is being done courtesy of an unexpectedly free grand-Am pit crew that was preparing to do double duty that weekend for somebody just nicknamed “Willy-Bob.”

Of course I’m just going out on a proverbial small sized tree limb here, (guessing?) but I’m wondering if Penske Senior may indeed give Jay Penske a helping hand in the Japanese driver’s debut? As obviously part-time driver will Power won’t be participating as previously planned and I’m still not sure of the rumoured link between Sato and Gil De Ferran’s hoped for 2010 IRL team debut, which I’ve previously also spouted off about Takuma having some mystical tie to Formula Dream sponsorship which currently is being sported by Heideki Mutoh at “Mikey” Andretti’s outfit, whatever it’ll be called shortly, eh?

Of course, I’ve overlooked the possibility that “Frank the Tank” (Franck Montagny) could become a candidate for De Ferran Motorsports next year? As we all wait breathlessly for DFM’s “Rally- Rally- Rally” BIG announcement about his team’s line-up, eh? And with Scott Dixon (and Princess-URGH!) reportedly off the market, you’d think that De Ferran will have to look elsewhere for his supposed lead driver… Unless Takuma’s outing is simply a tune-up for next year at De Ferran, which raises interesting thoughts about just how well connected Mr. De Ferran is, eh? (If indeed Sato runs for LDR with roger Penske’s pit crew…) But don’t forget that one of his main cogs is the retired head of Honda’s vaunted Norte Americano operations, a one Mr. Robert Clarke and I suppose it’s possible that De Ferran could muster up his own pit crew from his ALMS squad also as an audition for next season…

So just exactly what colour are Dragons? As I’m guessing it’s NOT Pink since Sarah Fisher’s already planning to run that shade at Homestead, and don’t forget Vitor Meira’s intended comeback in Miami…

Friday, August 28, 2009

Edwards on Speed Freaks

Colin Edwards, a former two time World Superbike Champion seems like a very entertaining Cowboy from the Lonestar State… And has a great sense ‘O humour too, so you may wish to check out the “Texas Tornado” (Edwards) and the “Kentucky Kid,” a.k.a. Nicky Hayden at the Speedway this weekend… As according to my TV Guide SPEED will air two 1hr episodes of MOTO GP from Indianapolis; Saturday at 4PM and Sunday at 3PM. (PACIFIC Times) Along with listening to Edwards past weekend’s interview on Speed Freaks…

Edwards on Speed Freaks

Scooting down the Corkscrew

Otay, so this is slightly dated, since it was sitting in my queue ‘O Memorex viewing while cavorting about the Northwest sans Confuzer the first few weeks of July…

As it’s definitely the first time I’ve ever gotten to watch a “Live” MOTO GP “Qualie” session, which was airing late night (7/04) on SPEED; which I can only imagine what it’s like watching these Mad-men rocketing thru the Corkscrew live, knee touching the Tarmac as they hurtle past “Zanardi Corner…”

And these are truly High Technology works of art, as for example Ducati currently utilizes a Carbon fibre rear swing arm design, while these 800cc Four stroke ultimate “Pocket Rockets” weigh a mere 327lbs and exude 220bhp; giving a staggering horsepower to weight ratio of 1bhp:1.5lbs, while equipped with a dizzying amount of “Electric’s” which would make a Formula 1 Piloto jealous – state of the art traction, wheelie and launch control to name a few items.

And according to SPEED’s Greg White, these machismo leather clad warriors are now utilizing elbow pads similar to the knee pads they use to “touch” the Tarmac with both their arms and knees while experiencing “Lean” angles of up to sixty degrees, with a rubber tyre contact patch surface area totaling the volume of a size 10 men’s tennis shoe!

And the hour long session was extremely intense, as two thirds of Row 1 would end up crashing in the dying moments of qualifying, as eventual Pole sitter George Lorenzo crashed harmlessly before making his way back to the pits to go out on his “Back-up Scooter” with the softer of the two available Bridgestone compounds mounted. Yet next ’07 Champion Casey Stoner would go deposit his Ducatti into the gravel traps, sustaining a bruised hip, while with mere minutes left, Lorenzo would crash his second Yamaha; this time incurring a partially separated shoulder and sore ankle and was carted to the infield medical center via ambulance; leaving Fiat-Yamaha teammate and reigning World Champion Valentino rossi the opportunity to steal “P1,” as both Lorenzo and Stoner had incurred wicked “High-sides.”

Yet, “The Doctor” (Rossi) was unable to pull off the maneuver, managing only to eclipse Stoner on his final Flying lap, and thus, Row 1 was set with Lorenzo keeping his Pole, Stoner in third and Rossi in-between the to vanquished riders, being the only one to show up for the post-qualifying interview…

Meanwhile Stoner’s Ducati teammate, “The Kentucky Kid,” a.k.a. Nicky Hayden managed to nab his best qualifying position of the year – winding up eighth, his first top ten of the season; while Colin Edwards on his “Sudo-Privateer” Yamaha had another strong outing, finishing one spot ahead of Nicky in seventh.

Yet it wasn’t to be “the Doctor’s” day, as the legendary rider who’s just scored his 100th career victory, along with eight World Championships, (one 125GP & 250GP, one 500GP and five MOTO GP’s as the top 500GP class transitioned from 500cc two strokes to 990cc four strokes before shrinking to the curren 800cc limit) wasn’t able to catch Dani Pedrosa on the factory Repsol Honda, ending the Japanese company’s victory drought by holding off the hard charging Rossi. Pole sitter Lorenzo took the final podium step, with Ducatti’s Stoner and Hayden finishing P4-5 respectively while Edwards wound up a respectable P7.

Hmm? Perhaps a trip to Indy is in order? Uhm, looks like I’ll be tied-up this weekend, BUT I’d rather see these rocket ships at Laguna Seca! So may be next year? Although I do highly recommend attending Indy if you’re anywhere near as these Machismo Scooter Piloto’s are simply AMAZING!

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Rubino does it!

Isn’t it funny how opinions change? As years ago I simply delighted in seeing the TERMINATOR CRUSH his opposition weekly… As Herr Schumacher was simply invincible in that blood red machine, while the rest of the grid fought for the remaining crumbs…

Yet, this past weekend I found myself chanting “RUBINO-RUBINO-RUBINO!” As he first chased the two McLarens ahead of him, before leapfrongin Heikki Kovalainen and setting his sights upon race leader Lewis Hamilton, as I growled at the Telescreen, Get-him Rubino!

And then it all came “Pear-shaped” for the young “Louise” as the McLaren Boyz muffed Hamilton’s final pit stop as Rubens Barrichello was urged to put the hammer down and pound out five qualifying laps… As Barrichello would go on to record his first Grand Prix victory in five years, as his last win had come in 2004 in China whilst driving as Michael Schumacher’s wingman 82 races ago… As it would be the Brazilian’s very first non-Scuderia Ferrari victory of his long running career, catapulting him back to second in the championship behind his BRAWN GP teammate ‘JENSE, with six races remaining… Way to go Rubino!

Grey Beards

“You’ve been a BAD boy; you let your face grow long…”

Obviously, I had a hard time getting as excited over this past weekend’s European Grand Prix as I would have been if the TERMINATOR had indeed made his proposed comeback…

James Allen:
“Just two weeks after announcing a shock comeback to Formula One, Michael Schumacher pulled off another surprise yesterday by calling the whole thing off.”

“Michael Schumacher’s comeback-that-never-was, has drawn the attention in recent days and it was clear looking at his face and his body language at the Geneva press conference how disappointed he was.”

(Source: James Allen’s F1 Blog)

And thus, it wasn’t meant to be, albeit Schuey was set to become the Old Man on the grid, (40yrs – 8 months) making a heroic comeback a la “Il Lione” or BLOODY NIGE’s. (Mansell) return 15 years ago, as the honour of F1’s elder statesman currently belongs to his ex-teammate Rubino… (Barrichello) Who in his own mind thought he coulda been a contender for the World Championship if only he wasn’t in Michael’s shadow and hence moved onto what has ultimately become BRAWN GP, albeit I think his junior teammate and current points leader ‘JENSE (Button) is clearly head ‘N shoulders above him. And thus a quick perusal thru my loosely kept Formula 1 statistics and Al Gore’s world wide web thingy reveal the following...

(ALL Statistics compiled PRIOR to the 2009 European GP)

Michael Schumacher
Age: 40 (Born 01/03/69) Starts: 249; Wins: 91; Poles: 68; Podiums: 154; Fastest laps: 76; Teams: Jordan, Benetton, Ferrari; World Championships: 7; Seasons: 15 (1991-2006).

What can I say about Herr Schumacher? I mean he’s certainly one of the greatest drivers ever… and I’m just really bummed that he had to F%%K UP his neck racing “Scooters” in order to not be able to fulfill his hoped for comeback… which would certainly have brought some Zest back to one of Formula 1’s most scandalous seasons…

Ricardo Patrese
Age: 39 (At retirement; Born 04/17/54) Starts: 256; Wins: 6; Poles: 8; Podiums: 37; Fastest laps: 13; Teams: Shadow, Arrows, Brabham, Alfa Romeo, Williams, Benetton; World Championships: 0; Seasons: 16 (1977-1993).

I’ve only included Ricardo because he was the benchmark of durability of all Formula Uno Piloto’s with an unheard of 256 Grand Prix starts, which was thought at one time to be untouchable. Hell! Even Herr Schumacher has less career starts then Patrese…

Luca Badoer
Age: 38 (B 01/25/71) Starts: 48; Wins: 0; Poles: 0; Podiums: 0; Fastest laps: 0; Teams: BMS Scuderia Italia, Minardi, Forti Course, Ferrari; World Championships: 0; Seasons: 4 (1993, 1995-96, 1999, 2009).

Although some are questioning Ferrari’s choice of Italian Luca Badoer over the teams younger test/reserve driver, the 35yr old Spaniard Marc Gene after not having contested a Formula 1 event since Suzuka, 1999, I’d like to believe the story of Badoer being granted the position due to his loyalty to the Scuderia, having become a test driver at Maranello way back in 1997.

Will we see Badoer thru the remainder of the season, not to mention the upcoming event at Monza?

Badoer began his F1 career with BMS Scuderia Italia, powered by Ferrari V-12 “Lumps” in 1993, regularly outshining senior teammate Michele Alboreto, whom he lost his drive to in 1994 when the team merged operations with Minardi, but stayed on as their test driver and replaced Alboreto in 1995 upon his retirement from F1, before moving onto an unsuccessful season with Forti Course. Badoer then ran his final F1 campaign with Minardi in 1999, and was surprised when Ferrari drafted Mika Salo as Schumacher’s stand-in upon the German breaking his leg, as Badoer was the team’s test driver, and still is…

And if you’re questioning Badoer’s pedigree, then you may wish to know he’s a multi-series champion; Italian Karting, Italian F3 and F3000, having beat some Dude named Zanardi for his F3 crown…

Rubens Barrichello
Age: 37 (B 05/23/72) Starts: 277; Wins: 9; Poles: 13; Podiums: 66; Fastest laps: 17; Teams: Jordan, Stewart, Ferrari, BAR-Honda, Honda, BRAWN GP; World Championships: 0; Seasons: 16 (1993 - Present).

As we all know, Rubino, who ironically made his Formula 1 debut at the exact same race as Badoer, the 1993 South African GP, began his career with “EJ’s” (Eddie Jordan) plucky Privateer team, driving the Sasol sponsored Jordan 193/Hart V-10, which slowly rose in stature, while Barrichello’s career zenith obviously came while deputizing as Schumacher’s wingman at Ferrari, where he scored all of his Grand Prix victories, before eclipsing Patrese’s starting record late last season.

Giancarlo Fisichella
Age: 36 (B 01/14/73) Starts: 222; Wins: 3; Poles: 3; Podiums: 18; Fastest laps: 2; Teams: Minardi, Jordan, Benetton, Jordan, Sauber, Renault,, Force India; World Championships: 0; Seasons: 13 (1996-Present).

Not really sure what to say about “Fishy-fellah,” other then he’s been around an awful long time, having started his career with perennial back marker’s and Minnow Minardi, which has given many F1 Piloto’s there chance to race in Formula 1, kinda makes me think of Dale Coyne Racing, eh? Although I do recall some mighty infighting at Jordan with hotshot Ralph Schumacher before moving onto Benetton, while Fisichella’s final Grand Prix victory came in very strange fashion, scoring Jordan Grand Prix’s final victory as the race was red flagged just moments after his Ford “Lump” burst into flames and the outcome wasn’t decided until one week later…

Jarno Trulli
Age: 35 (B 07/13/74) Starts: 209; Wins: 1; Poles: 4; Podiums: 10; Fastest laps: 1; Teams: Minardi, Prost, Jordan, Renault, Toyota; World Championships: 0; Seasons: 12 (1997 - Present).

Jarno, a.k.a. “Trulli Scrumptious” according to Professor Matchett, is another long time veteran of Formula One and has never really seemed to become one of the sports top stars… Although he did have to suffer in the limelight of Ralfanso; you know Michael Schumacher’s brother for three years while routinely outperforming him! And I can’t quite remember which race it was? But Trulli put in a sterling drive when not being denied a much overdue Podium for Toyota, not to mention securing the team’s very first pole. Jarno seems like one of the good guys and reportedly makes some killer vino in his spare time…

Mark Webber
Age: 32 (B 08/27/76) Starts: 131; Wins: 1; Poles: 1; Podiums: 8; Fastest laps: 1; Teams: Minardi, Jaguar, Williams, Red Bull Racing; World Championships: 0; Seasons: 7 (2002 - Present).

Good Day Mate and get your BLOODY ARSE OUTTA MY WAY! As Webber’s been known to have ‘Juan of the widest cars on the grid… But his dogged determination finally saw him score his maiden Grand Prix victory at the Nurburgring after 130 starts. Not to mention coming back from a broken leg and shoulder suffered while riding in his Tasmanian charity event this past winter…

Nick Heidfeld
Age: 32 (B 05/10/77) Starts: 160; Wins: 0; Poles: 1; Podiums: 12; Fastest laps: 2; Teams: Prost, Sauber, Jordan, Williams, BMW-Sauber; World Championships: 0; Seasons: 9 (2000 - Present).

Contrary to Bob Varsha’s quoting of Mark Webber having just broken the longest drought for first victory by an F1 driver, unfortunately “Quick Nick” still holds that dubious honour, with 160+ starts to his credit… Then again, I’d say the majority of the teams he’s driven for never gave him a chance, as most don’t recall the fact that he outqualified his teammate Kimi Raikkonen in convincing manner whilst teammates at Sauber…

Kimi Raikkonen
Age: 29 (B 10/17/79) Starts: 149; Wins: 17; Poles: 16; Podiums: 59; Fastest laps: 35; Teams: Sauber, McLaren, Ferrari; World Championships: 1; Seasons: 8 (2001 – Present).

Obviously “The Kimster’s” greatest accomplishment in Formula 1 to date was his miraculous snatching of the 2007 F1 Drivers World Championship away from rookie Lewis Hamilton by one point in the final race at China in 2007…

And Kimi, a.k.a. the REAL “Iceman” has always been known for his blindingly quick pace along with David Hobbs routinely pronouncing how large the Finn’s attachments (Balloc’s) are… But for me, his finest moment came during the 2005 Japanese Grand Prix, when Raikkonen chased down “Fishy-fellah” and with two laps remaining, whilst ignoring the klaxon bell of the McLaren’s Mercedes Benz rev limiter, magnificently sweeps past the Roman’s Renault on the OUTSIDE of Turn 1 and snatches a breathtaking victory away from an utterly gutted Giancarlo… (Which would lead to his downfall from Renault).

Jenson Button
Age: 29 (B 01/19/80) Starts: 163; Wins: 7; Poles: 7; Podiums: 22; Fastest laps: 2; Teams: Williams, Benetton, Renault, BAR-Honda, Honda, BRAWN GP; World Championships: 0; Seasons: 9 (2000 - Present).

As we all know: “You’ve come a long way baby!” As our man ‘JENSE was on the outside looking in this past winter in regards to whether or not he’d be even racing in Formula 1? And his season has been magnificent to date, albeit the boil having come off quite a bit recently… Yet, when I think of Button, I hearken back to his rookie campaign, when under the tutelage of one Messer Gerhard Berger… ‘JENSE lost his license for excessive speeding in a BMW Diesel road car!

Monday, August 24, 2009

Snakes ‘N Stuff

Whale other then the fact that the “Danicker Channel,” nee Versus nearly 1hr IndyCar preamble is TOO F%%KING LONG! (Are we going for the RASSCAR approach here or what?) I did get a chuckle outta Mr. BRUT Aruet-Arute’s interview segment with EJ “What, Me Worry?” Viso, who listed his hobbies included Skydiving and Base jumping… Before showing Arute-Arute ‘Juan ‘O his pet Snakes… To which the BRUT-ish ‘Juan professed his huge dislike of the scaly critters… while viso stood there laughing loudly while Arute-Arute said; “You think this is funny?” Before asking what does it mean when he wraps himself around my neck to which viso replied it means FRESH MEAT! Before telling Jack to give his Snake a kiss… I tells yuh, that Viso dude is ‘Juan SIC cookie… Now if he could just pull some of his woe-jo on those DAMN pesky red carz, eh? As I’d really like to see someone else besides Dario, Scott, Ryan or Hulio in Victory circle – Kapishe?

Youtube CEO joins USF1

As previously mentioned, the perceived tie-up between Youtube and USGPE (USF1) has just become a whole lot stronger with the addition of Youtube’s CEO Chad Hurley to the USGPE Organization, as Hurley looks forward to helping the new Formula 1 start-up achieve dizzying heights in the near future; as possibly you caught him and Team Boss Ken Anderson last night on Wind Tunnel with a much easier on the eyes Dave Despain, eh? As Kris De Bota was filling in for Ye ‘Ol Windbag who’s out ‘N aboot on his motor scooter…

Yet, like most interviews with the House ‘O Winsor, nothing terribly important was divulged as Ken Anderson basically spoon fed Bob Varsha & Kris De Bota the least amount of factual information possible… Although he did divulge that they’ve received 6,000 resumes from around the world seeking possible employment, most likely a “veteran” driver would be hired due to the lack of testing allowed, a “roller” chassis should be completed by October and their chassis should begin testing in December, while Hurley’s best quip was that he was simply looking for something that didn’t compete with Google which was pretty hard to find…

Hurley interview on joining USF1

Massa to travel to Miami for more tests

Injured Ferrari F1 driver Felipe Massa will travel to Miami on Friday to see renowned surgeon Dr. Steve Olvey for further evaluation on his recovery, as Olvey was one of the surgeons who performed life saving surgery upon Alex Zanardi and has helped several drivers return to the cockpit as Massa has stated that he’d like to return to competition this year in his home race in Brazil this October…

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Power and Philippe sustain season ending injuries

Just finished listening to the IMS Radio Network broadcast of the Sears Point qualifying session, where Mike “Yippee-Kai-eh” King and Davey Hamilton have recapped all of the action including the vicious practice crash that occurred today prior to qualifying.

Nelson Philippe spun his car on the top of Turn 3A and EJ “What, Me worry?” Viso managed to only give Philippe’s stalled chassis a glancing blow, but unfortunately Will Power was unable to miss Philippe and basically T-boned the stricken Conquest Racing machine upon cresting the blind corner; causing Philippe to suffer a compound fracture of his left foot and right leg, while Power sustained two broken vertebrae and some minor facial lacerations, including some chipped or broken teeth due to his helmet hitting his steering wheel, with both drivers being taken to the Medical centre… As most likely both will be out for the remainder of the ’09 Indy Car season, while HVM Racing was able to repair Viso’s car and return him to qualifying….

Also hats off to ‘Ol “Super Tex,” a.k.a. AJ foyt for giving up his private jet in order for Ryan Hunter-Reay’s mother to be able to fly back home for treatment whilst apparently battling that dreaded “C-Word” Cancer…

Friday, August 21, 2009

Hungaroring Highlights

Hopefully this weekend’s outing in Valencia; Spain will be less spectacular then the previous “Hunga-boring” race, which unfortunately was fraught with chaos… With the passing of Henry Surtees just one week earlier, Massa’s horrifying accident and Alonso’s errant tyre episode all unraveling prior to Michael Schumacher’s intended comeback…

So isn’t it ironic, how Professor (Steve) Matchett spent a considerable amount of time during Friday’s practice coverage prior to Felipe Massa’s horrifying accident in Saturday’s qualifying trying to figure out what BMW Sauber was running on the front nose section just forward of the cockpit… At first thinking it was a timing monitor stand forgotten, before guessing perhaps the team was running some sort of 2010 “Aero bits,” to which Peter Winsor agreed with, as both speculated that the Swiss-German team may be trying to get a jump upon next year’s design which will change once again with the mandatory abolishment of in-race refueling.(Of course I’d hazard to say it was something left on the car by accident, since BMW has now pulled the plug on their F1 team, which makes me doubt they’ve been spending any time or money on next year’s chassis.

As you may be aware of? During the final moments of Q3 Pole session qualifying the Timing & Scoring inexplicably malfunctioned and we along with the SPEED commentators were left wondering who’d won the Pole. As I simply laughed out loud at their quips…

Bob Varsha) At the worst possible moment we’ve lost Timing & Scoring.

David Hobbs)Oh jolly good!

Varsha: On a Dark ‘N Stormy night…

Steve Matchett) A Shot rang out in the Town’s Square… (As Varsha bursts into laughter).

Varsha: Perhaps Vettel’s on Pole? May Be? Perhaps Hamilton’s done it? Perhaps NOT! Ok, Fernando could be P1? May be Nico’s done it? Oh please Mr. Director-man.

As the session ends we’re suddenly treated to a live camera following Alonso around as he ‘N JENSE discuss their relative times according to their in-car telemetry… Before “Fredrico Suave” (Alonso) drops an F-Bomb as the audio mikes pick up Ferdi saying FUCK Man, I’ve got a 21.5…

Matchett: Sorry ‘bout that outburst, as our microphones shouldn’t have caught that.

And as we’re treated to all of the drivers standing around and being weighed, as Nico Rosberg and ‘ZEBB (Sebastian Vettel) seem to be quite amused by Alonso’s antics…

Varsha: Careful Boyz, there’s NO laughing allowed in Parc Ferme, its “Verbotten” by the FIA!

Hobbs: C’mon Bernie… Spend some of your (FRILLIN’) money on the Timing & Scoring!

Varsha: Don’t worry Boyz, drinks are on Bernie… Perhaps NOT?

And thus we finally have the top three finishers revealed, with Alonso on Pole, Vettel second and Mark Webber third, who has to be summoned to the Post-race interview…

So it was a most surreal Hunga-Boring weekend, as first qualifying was delayed by 20min due to Massa’s shunt, then Timing & Scoring was lost and ultimately Renault would be penalized for Alonso’s front tyre coming adrift and bouncing down the Tarmac, while Lewis Hamilton would go on to score McLaren’s and his first win of the year and the very first victory ever for a chassis fitted with the much ballyhooed KERS system.

And now after a month’s break can F1 return to normality? Will BRAWN GP bounce back, will Red Bull continue to close in upon the World Championships, or will a red car spoil Alonso’s party…

Now I’ve gotta go watch the Friday tape…

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Team Who?

Not to be cornfused with Team Iannucci; as the head scribe of My Name is IRL is seemingly busy at the moment building his own IndyCar World Series entity… Err, interviewing the countless IWS drivers currently available; NOT to be mistaken with the fine folks over at De Ferran Motorsports, who as Jeffey notes; Team Boss Gil De Ferran has taken the House ‘O Winsor’s USF1 (USGPE) creative marketing technique by doing some name dropping of his own on potential Drivers of his yet completed Indy Car team…

But don’t get me wrong, I certainly admire Gil, I mean HELL! Why else would I have gotten Donald Kay of Autosport Radio to get me the 2003 Indy 500’s “John Hancock” otherwise, eh?

Thus it was somewhat surprising during the Mid-Ohio (ALMS) weekend, when the 41yr old Brazilian (De Ferran) announced his retirement from the cockpit at the end of 2009; for a second and final time… In order to devote his energies fully towards his race team, in which he’d like to see a second car added to his ALMS program along with his dream of running a two car entity in Indy Car in 2010.

So, with that stated, I for one duly hope that De Ferran’s lofty ambitions come true with the debut of a two car IRL entry next year, as there’s certainly room for some new blood to spice things up a bit, eh?

And there certainly doesn’t seem to be a lack of quality “Hotschue’s” available… As perhaps De Ferran will go for an all Royal Bleu squad of Sea Bass (Bourdais) and “Symone” Pagenaud? Or perhaps Danny Boy Wheldon, whom reportedly doesn’t feel the LUV at Panther Racing anymore; not to mention Penske’s third wheel, (Will Power) Justin “BIG UNIT” Wilson or Scott Dixon? (Leggo my Dixie, sez the Cheepster!)

Or to get really far fetched, how about “Quick Nick” (Heidfeld) or Rubino? (R. Barrichello) But my money’s on either Wheldon/Power alongside Pagenaud, as we’ll see, eh? As I’d go for Power if it’s possible, although “Taku-san’s” *Takuma Sato) name keeps popping up along with Formula Dream sponsorship…

Whale it certainly bothers me when Mr. BRUT Arute-Arute not only picks the same driver as Mwah, but then has the audacity to try needling Gil about it on camera. And wasn’t it funny seeing Arute craning his neck skywards to talk to Justin Wilson…

Welcome Back Gil De Ferran

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Grosjean promoted

As expected, now that the “Reggie” has paid off the “Cigarette Girls” and gotten reinstated for this weekend’s European GP, current Renault test driver Romain Grosjean has been announced as recently SACKED Nelson Piquet Jr.’s replacement for the remainder of the season.

And I find it especially funny how the Press Release broke the news; as they say the best defense is a good offense… As Flavor Flav (F. Briatore) was all Hugs ‘N Kisses in wishing Nelson Ho all the best in his newest endeavors… Just don’t forget who the boss is - Sunshine!

Monday, August 17, 2009

Renault wins appeal

Apparently the “Powers to Be” have decided that with the absence of Michael Schumacher’s hoped for comeback dashed and Spain’s largest Formula 1 driver potentially sitting in some luxury box with King Juan Carlos, the FIA’s Court of Appeals has decided to overturn the Hungarian race stewards one race ban imposed upon Renault for the error of sending Fred Alonso out of the pits with an unsecured front tyre which was last seen bouncing down the race track just one day after Felipe Massa’s horrible shunt…

Thus Renault has been reinstated for the upcoming European GP and simply had their knuckles wrapped and fined $50,000 Euros for their indiscretion… A la Red Bull Racing when telling Sebastian Vettel to continue on after his coming together with Robert Kubica in Australia…

USF1 standing firm?

Apparently the House of Windsor has set the newswires alight once again with his most recent comments in Sports Illustrated, when he claimed that USF1 (USGPE) has been approached by two “Paying Drivers” for potential seat fittings for USF1’s 2010 debut Formula 1season, to witch the “Vurdmeister” of F1 word-speak has politely turned the chaps down, standing firm on their decision to only run young Americano’s.

I still think it wouldn’t be too far fetched to see Messer Bourdais in one cockpit as he would bring needed F1 experience, albeit perhaps not great, the Hamburgular does indeed know the drill.

Latest name dropping includes Graham Rahal and Ryan Hunter-Reay… Of which I believe are both free agents at the end of this season, although I’d be surprised to see the “Son ‘O Stash” (G. Rahal) make the leap so soon, as he seems to have quite a bit of unfinished business in Indy Cars to take care of, ditto for RHR too, eh? Although Hunter-Reay seems to be a most logical choice and I’ll be interested to see if they really start their baptism under fire next season with two true rookies?

Then again, why not a promising talent from north of the border, eh? As I still think the young “Wicky,” a.k.a. Canadian Robert Wickens is a natural “Schue-in” for Formula One in the future.

And if Winsor & Co. were sticking to their announced game plan, they’d be smart to help a young Californian by the name of Alexander Rossi make his way up the charts, with an option for his services in the future; not to mention Mexican standout Esteban Gutierrez, both of who are slated for F1 test drives with BMW Sauber in the near future.

But, as Peter Winsor said recently on Wind Tunnel, I’ll have to wind you up for awhile longer on the driver front… And thus I’ll miss Winsor’s vaunted “Vurd-speak” when he presumably departs from his SPEED TV gig in order to focus full time upon F1 next year... Good luck Peter, Kenny & USF1!

Thanks to Pressdog, where I originally spotted the news about USF1 passing up mucho dinero…

Meanwhile, F1 fanatic has an interesting tidbit about USF1 potential sponsors, click here.

Friday, August 14, 2009

Birthday’s ‘N Stuff

Today, August 14th, The Indianapolis Motor Speedway officially celebrates its 100th anniversary. On this date in 1909, a series of motorcycle races were held on the newly completed 2.5 mile Oval.

But Triple-A (AAA) sanctioned Automobile racing had already made its stop at Portland, nearly two years BEFORE the very first Indy 500. (Not to mention the five people who’d lose their lives during Indy’s very first weekend of Automobile racing…)

Cash for Clunkers?
Apparently current F1 Points leader ‘JENSE (Button) is trying to cash in on that ‘lil car dealo where you can swap your Supercar for something a tad bit more practicle, eh? Click here.

Brack’s Bling
So what do retired Indy 500 Champions do in their after lives? Take one Kenny Brack, who you may have heard of? Whale Brack got an offer he couldn’t refuse and decided to participate in this year’s Rally X-Games, with some Formula Duh Dude named Tanner (Foust( as his teammate… And you may know that Kenny beat all comers including Tanner and somebody named Travis Pestrona, and recently was a guest on Speed Freaks… To listen, click here.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Toro Rosso settles with Bourdais

Apparently after feeling the heat of unceremoniously giving the Hamburgular ze Boot! And letting some 19yr old Punk named Jamie Alguersuari leak the news to the World via the Spanish press… Scuderia Toro Rosso has quickly decided to settle with Sebastian Bourdais, rather then find itself potentially losing in a court room battle and henceforth has agreed to pay sea Bass his ’09 salary plus $2.1 million in damages for breeching his contract.

This obviously makes the Frenchman a “Free Agent” with enough dinero to potentially purchase a ride elsewhere… And even though the cynics suggest he’s gone from Formula 1 and headed back Stateside to find a place in Indy Car’s; can you say De Ferran Motorsports? Nevertheless, I’d not be overly shocked to see him land at the home of F1 “Vurdmeister,” Peter Winsor, self anointed Sporting Director of USF1, Err USGPE…

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

AGR preparing for Post-Danica era?

According to Will of Is it May yet? Andretti Green Racing will be running a fifth Dallara/Honda chassis for Frenchman Frank Montagny at this year’s final IRL road course race at Sonoma… Under the auspices of AFS Racing.

AFS/AGR currently campaign cars in the Firestone Indy Lights series for current points leader J.R. Hildebrand and second place Sebastian Saavedra, along with having won the 2008 Indy Lights Championship with Rafael Matos, so its safe to say that team owner Gary Peterson Has an interest in running with the “Big boyz” (Indy Car) in the future, which leads me to ponder if this is possibly a fact finding mission? Or perhaps the next step in Hildebrand’s future? As there certainly seem to be a plethora of drivers available if Princess does indeed decide to leave the team. Yet, I’d suggest that AGR might wish to consider simply concentrating on its current four drivers who’ve had less then stellar results this season…

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Schumacher’s return cancelled

Another day, another twist in this never ending season of Formula 1, as the “Terminator” has had to scuttle his planned for return to F1 as Felipe Massa’s stand-in.

Michael Schumacher:
“Yesterday evening, I had to inform Ferrari president Luca di Montezemolo and team principal Stefano Domenicali that unfortunately I'm not able to step in for Felipe”

As it seems well documented now, Herr Schumacher has been recovering from a motorcycle accident earlier this year and after testing a private ’07 spec Ferrari F1 chassis in Mugello, the persistent neck pain has failed to go away completely and therefore Schumacher will give way to Ferrari test driver Luca Badoer, as I for one am very disappointed over this latest development of which I’m certain isn’t good news for the Valencia promoter, eh? Especially if Alonso is forced to serve his teams one race ban…

Schumacher calls off F1 comeback

Monday, August 10, 2009

Mid-Ohio Quote of the weekend

As always, the never shy to speak his mind, Mr. Chrome Horn, a.k.a. Paul Tracy has filed the following on his blog.

Paul Tracy:
“I’ve got to comment on Milka. She’s a disaster out there and it’s beyond even funny. Why do they give her a license? She’s what…seven seconds off me, so eight seconds off of Briscoe. That means Ryan’s gonna be lapping her every nine or ten laps if we’re green all the way! Why do they let her drive? Why does she want to embarrass herself so bad?”
(Source: Indy Trackside)

Hey! Just ask Justin Wilson how it went for him when trying to overtake Milka-licious this weekend at Mid-Ohio while leading…

What does ‘Ol Robin Miller call ‘dat? Oh yeah; I believe it’s known as a “Lucky Milka!” Instead of RASSCAR’s Lucky Dawg, uze gets two laps behind Milka to see if you can get around her cleanly without being taken out!

Mid-Ohio Scorecard

So I’m guessing everybody’s heard ‘bout all of the musical chairs having just been played over the weekend in Lexington, Ohio; but for those of you playing at home, here’s a recap plus a look at the remaining four events in this years vaunted ICS calendar; which be still Y’all beatin’ hearts… As its chock full ‘O Oval tracks:

CalendarAug 23: Infineon Raceway; 2.4-mile Road Course
Aug 29: Chicagoland Speedway, 1.5-mile oval
Sept 19: Twin Ring Motegi, Japan; 1.5-mile Oval
Oct 11: Homestead-Miami Speedway; 1.5-mile Oval

Pre-qualifyingBut back to Mid-Ohio, which saw “Bad Bobby D,” that’s Robert Doornbos to uze Jeffey, (NOT Doorknobs) who apparently was irked at Graham Rahal for NOT sharing his Quarter Pounders with the Dutchman, nor being able to get the secret sauce recipe from NHLR and took the proviso in his contract to walk after twelve races… Seeing Doornbos promptly hoof it over to HVM Racing; to team with EJ “What, Me Worry”” Viso, where he won two races enroute to the 2007 Champ Car rookie of the Year honours, by finishing third with two wins that season for Team Minardi USA. (One of HVM’s numerous incarnations) Bobby D will drive the No. 33 and has been inked for the remainder of ’09 thru the 2010 season.

Thus with an open seat at Newman Haas Lanigan Racing, Oriel Servia who’s currently collecting a paycheck as Tony “great Balls ‘O Fire” Kanaan’s Driver Coach, Err Consultant, was asked to keep the seat warm for The Hamburgular, a.k.a. Bourdais… But Hey! Why not Dan “Spike” Wheldon instead?

Alex Tagliani (2009 Indy 500 Rookie of the Year) decided to “Walk like an Egyptian,” taking his ice cream cone with him and left Eric Bachelart’s shoestring Conquest Racing organization in hopes of finding a full time gig in 2010… (Good luck TAG, you’ll need it!) As Bachelart has signed two Drivers for 3/4th of the remaining season, skipping this week’s contest. First up, Nelson “I’m Irish” Philippe will drive the I’m green car at the track uze Ovalhead’s affectionately chastise as “Snorhoma” and Homestead, while Kosuke “F U” Matsuura who got censored for saying FUCK on TV will drive for the first time since ’07 at Twin Ring Motegi… go Kosuke!

At Dreyer & Reinbold Racing‘s ever revolving door of Drivers, Tomas “Rockem-Sockem” Scheckter was busy hawkin’ MonaVie this weekend, while Milka-licious (Duno) stayed pat for a second outing in a row as Mike Conway’s wingman, Err Wing person… (Don’t go ‘dare Danny… NO! Don’t say wing nut!) Look for Scheckter, Duno and Conway the rest of the way with the exception of Roger Yasukawa in Japan, which will make a total of three Japanese warriors circumnavigating the Twin Rings.

Sarah “Ovals R-Us” Fisher stayed home in Indiana, but will race at Chicagoland and Homestead, while Will (Feel the) Power’s Grand Am pit crew was busy in Watkins Glen, thus leaving only two Pesky Carz on the grid to play follow the leader with TCGR. Look for Will to be back at Sears Point Raceway and Homestead.

But where’s Dan-Dan-Danicker?

Over at KV Racing Technology, our fellow Kuh-Nucks were left High ‘N Dry, missing out once again on the chance to see their national hero, the pride ‘O Toronto, none other then Paul Tracy fill in for Mario M ‘N M Moraes, who was grieving the death of his father.

Team 3G, remember them? Well once again they had Richard Antinucci behind the wheel, while look for Stand-in Stanton (Barret) to race in Japan, while Jacques Lazier and Antinucci will arm wrestle over who gets the remainder of the events.

Whew! Don’t knows ‘bout Yall, but I’m tired from just reading all of ‘dat, and hopefully the action was as exciting on track when the muzac stopped… Although don’t know who got left out when the Weasel popped, eh? As Justin Wilson cracked the Top five in Friday’s practice session with Gasp! A red TCGR car fastest…

QualifyingSo add 4, subtract 5, divide by 3.27, carry the 9, Blah-blah-blah… And we find ourselves with a massive 21 cars filling this weekend’s grid at Mid-Ohio, as I eagerly awaited the soothing tones of Mike “Yippee-Kai-eh” King and Driver Analyst Davey Hamilton now that my Confuzer seems to be back to 100% strength… As today’s qualifying was split into Group 1 having eleven racers including both target/Chip Ganassi Racing entries, while Group 2 had ten cars including both Penske’s, Paul Tracy, Oriel Servia and Robert Doornbos.

Group 1
Prior to Group 1, the BIG UNIT (Wilson) gave a hint of what was to come, having been fastest in the morning’s final practice session. And don’t think the Indy Car drivers aren’t hangin’ it all out? Witness Wilson going off in turn 2 during the 20min session, enroute to grabbing P1 briefly, while with 8min left Scott Dixon is now sitting fastest. Then with 6min left Wilson throws on his first set of reds, forcing everyone’s hand while languishing in third… As the order of the Group 1 results would be: Dixon, Wilson, Dario franchitti, Graham Rahal, Hideki Mutoh and Ryan Hunter-Reay.

Group 2Whale obviously you’d expect the two Penske cars to make it thru, while it was to be a free-for-all between Danica and the Boyz… With Gasp! Patrick making it thru, while both Tony Kanaan and EJ Viso brought out simultaneous full course Yellow flags in the dying moments of the session, which caused both drivers to lose their quickest two lap times, seeing Group 2 results as follows:Castroneves, Briscoe, Patrick, Kanaan, Tracy and Viso…

Top 12Having begun the day on a green track after a rain shower had washed away all of the prior day’s rubber, times finally began to fall, as most amazingly Wilson and Briscoe both set identical times when breaking into the 1:06’s both tripping the electric eye with digital readouts exact to the fourth place decimal! And thus Wilson would be scored ahead of Briscoe simply by the fact that he’d set his time first… As Dario would wait until the waning moments to lift himself up by over a half second to keep his Fast Six record intact, by now having made 15 of the last 17 road/street course sessions, while ‘Ol PT was to be denied once again, albeit finishing ahead of Danica as the clock struck zero and the last six contestants standing were: Dixon, Wilson, Briscoe, Rahal, Franchitti and Hulio.

Fast Six
So once again Wilson and Briscoe were throwing down the gauntlet as the only two drivers to have saved a set of the ultra critical red rubber, while the other four contestants were stuck with scuffed red tyres… As unfortunately the “BAD Burnin’ Inferno” (Briscoe) had to go and pip my boy the BIG UNIT! As Briscoe cut a lap at 1:06.6814 vs. Wilson’s 1:06.7007 and thus the front row will mimic Watkins Glen… With Dixon third, Rahal fourth in his Home race and Hulio starting ahead of Dario on Row 3...

RaceFor an actual race report, I’ll leave you to peruse the Blogosphere and read any of the fine “Vurd Botcher’s” entertaining scribblings, as mice knucel’s are plain tuckered out and I’m simply knackered from all of this typings, not to mention being GUTTED from Wilson getting “MILKA’ED!”

Friday, August 7, 2009

HYDROS: Seafair splendor - 2009 Edition

Brenda Jones – Miss KYYX

Whale for Mwah; I still harbour memories of the thrill of Seafair as a young lad, as tradition was for young boys to pull cut out wooden planks, usually plywood fashioned in the shape of a Hydroplane by string behind their bikes through the neighborhoods…

Having grown up in the era of the pre-turbine’s, today’s Hydro’s just don’t have the same notoriety to me name wise or in spirit, as the turbine whoosh has long since replaced those glorious open cockpit, front & rear engine World War II surplus V-12 Allison and Rolls Royce Merlin powered monstrosities known as the “Blue Blaster” and the “Beer Wagon,” dueling for supremacy opposite of the finger piers of the Stan Sayre’s pits, where Miss Budweiser, Atlas Van Lines and the Pride of Pay ‘N Pak all left their indelible mark as Seafair victor’s, Gold Cup winners and National High Points Champions.

As luminary drivers like Bill Muncey and Dean chenowith immediately come to mind, not to mention Mickey Remund, Jim Kropfield, Tom D’Eath and local hero Chip Hanauer to name a few; while everybody fought to beat the sport’s “Kingpin” owner Bernie Little. During a time When boats named Squire Shop, Miss Rock (KISW 99.9FM), Oh Boy Oberto and Miss Madison were yearly contestants…

And thus, another summer has now come ‘N passed, as to me the zenith of summer in the Northwest is our annual Seafair Hydroplane Regatta on Lake Washington, capping a month long’s celebration of events including the landing of the Seafair Pirates, the Torchlight Parade and the piece de la resistance, the Blue Angels… (Which I’ve been watching since they used to fly with A-4 Skyhawks before upgrading to F-18 Hornets) Whilst in its heyday, I fondly recall the Goodyear Blimp making its yearly trek to Seattle and being stationed at the Sand Point Naval Air Base.

Yet, unbeknownst to me, this year’s just concluded running was the 60th Annual Seafair, which just like the modern Formula 1 series, began in 1950.

And without trying to rehash too many details after revisiting my Seafair Sunday (2008) report, its funny how the more things change, the more they stay the same, after quickly perusing the final heat’s entrants in last year’s event, which saw the Elam piloted by Dave Villwock win his ninth Seafair Cup against arch nemesis Jean Theoret (Miss Beacon Plumbing) and rival Steven David.

Yet, earlier this season in Detroit, apparently Theoret, now driving the renamed U-37 Hoss Mortgage flipped over and according to Hanauer’s repeated claims; (now a long time colour commentator for local CBS affiliate KIRO 7’s annual Seafair coverage) took his second gulp of water and thought he was dead… before being rescued!

After contesting Saturday’s preliminary heats, Theoret decided he just wasn’t physically able to go the distance and last minute substitute driver - J.W. Myers was brought in Sunday to pilot the U-37 Hydroplane.

Yet, this year’s event saw four different Heat winners over the two days of action, with Dave Villwock in the U-16 Ellstrom Elam Plus, Steve David in the U-1 Oh Boy! Oberto, Jimmy King in the U-3 Grandview on the Lake, and J.W. Myers in the (U-37 Hoss Mortgage Investors) each winning heats, with the 200,000+ crowd and sentimental favourite being King’s piston powered turbocharged Allison beating both Villwock’s And David’s turbines with a mesmerizing first flying lap at over 147mph.

And this feat of Old School technology is even more impressive as it’s reported that the piston powered boat is at a definite weight disadvantage, with the turbocharger weighing a hulking 600lbs alone… While on the opposite range of the spectrum, was the U-787 Boeing Hydroplane making demonstration runs the past two weeks with none other then Hydro legend Hanauer behind the wheel, having made a top speed blast of 153+ mph on Friday, as the Boeing boat is being utilized as a PR exercise while evaluating Biofuel, which it runs upon and has previously been tested by multiple airlines.

Yet, another Highlight to the weekend’s events was the Unlimited Lights Championship winner being none other then local resident Kayleigh Perkins, as Mr. Rock ‘N roll, Northwest Concert promoter extraordinaire, Patrick O’Day (75yrs old) exclaimed as the chequered flag was unfurled:

O’Day: There you have it! Seattle’s very own Danica Patrick!
Hanauer: Uhm, sorry Pat, but unlike Danica who HASN’T won very much really, Kayleigh has now just WON five races in a row.
O’Day: Yeah Chip; I guess you’re correct…

Yet Kayleigh isn’t the first female Hydroplane pilot, as that honour falls to Brenda Jones, whom I can seem to find very little out about, albeit one internets site proclaims that there was more then just Brenda as a Femme Fatale of the waterways, with the names of: Dorothy Levitt, Delphine Dodge and Betty "Joe" Carstairs being mentioned.

Also during the late 1970’s to early 1980’s; Carol Lee from Seattle, WA was the lone Female worker trailblazing the APBA National circuit as a crew member for the Miss Madison. Then the female ranks doubled when Yvonna Thomas crewed for her older brother Todd Yarling’s Cellular One Unlimited Hydroplane in the ‘80’s.

And don’t forget Lori Jones ownership of the U-9 Skyway Park Bowl and Casino, Fran Muncey’s team ownership after her husband’s unfortunate death, while in the new millennium Cindy Shirley currently is a crew member of the Oh boy Oberto.

But back to Kayleigh Perkins who was celebrating her inaugural victory at Seafair, enroute to clinching her second Unlimited Lights Championship, previously having been Rookie of the Year during her first title in 2007.

Yet Mr. O’Day was quite the celebrity in his heyday, when he amassed a fortune via Concerts West Promotions, where he traveled with Jimi Hendrix, Led Zepplin and the Beach boys, along with being Seattle’s premiere Disc Jockey with an unheard of 40% market share and owning local Radio Stations such as KJR and KYYX, while becoming “the Voice of Seafair,” when first calling the action in 1968, which he’s now done for the past 41 years continuously…

Along the way, O’Day Dabbled as a boat owner by picking up various Unlimited Hydroplanes; becoming the very first to run a turbine and female driver.

O’Day ran the KJR (950 AM) sponsored turbine boat which once was the premiere Rock ‘N roll station in Seattle, but his ill fated U-95’s most notorious moment came when it sunk to the bottom of Lake Washington in the mid 1970’s.

Then in 1981, Pat was the first to put a female behind the wheel of an Unlimited Hydro, when he tapped Brenda Jones as the pilot of his Miss KYYX, before his bubble apparently burst in the mid ‘80’s when he was forced to sell almost everything during a period of insolvency; now living a more sedate lifestyle in the San Juan Islands as a John L Scott Real Estate member.

Meanwhile the Oberto’s have opened their Lake Washington home once again to selected Senior Citizen’s groups for what Art & Dorothy say will most likely be their final shindig on the Lake as they’re set to retire and downsize…

And I don’t know why the APBA has decided to muck up the rules even further, as now all races see assigned lanes, to which I agree with Chip; at least make the final five lap heat a free-for-all lane choice, as with Dave Villwock’s Elam having lane one, it was going to be an uphill battle for Steve David’s Oh Boy Oberto (the reigning National High Points champion), in lane two to defeat Villwock, with each successive lane outwards for the six boat field giving a diminishing chance of victory… With Hanauer mentioning they’d be making their respective turns south of Southcenter… (A major shopping center south of Downtown Seattle)

And thus, after a spirited first lap duel between Villwock (53yrs old) and David (55yrs old), with a hard charging Jimmy King on the outside, Villwock steadily pulled ahead, bouncing over the choppy water with roostertail flying high into the sky, while apparently the Oh boy Oberto was suffering from a melted down turbine and steadily lost power throughout the five lap heat, faltering to a lowly finish of last place, while the piston powered boat came home an impressive runner-up with J. W. Meyers in third place.

The win for Villwock gave him an unprecedented total of ten Seafair victories, the most by any driver, eclipsing Chip Hanauer, and was his 59th career victory, moving him withing striking distance of the top two all time winners: Bill Muncey (62) and Hanauer (61). Also, interestingly Will (Power) Muncey, son of the legendary Godfather of Unlimited Hydro’s is currently competing in the Unlimited Lights class…

2009 Seafair Results

U-16 Ellstrom Elam Plus - Dave Villwock
U-3 Grandview on the Lake - Jimmy King
U-37 Hoss Mortgage Investors - J.W. Myers
U-5 - Jeff Bernard
U-17 USNW Express - Kip Brown
U-1 Oh Boy! Oberto - Steve David
U-7 Graham Trucking - J. Michael Kelly STARTED AS TRAILER

Monday, August 3, 2009

Oh Kentucky

O’Gara’s Irish Pub (OBD Photo)
Whale I certainly have to agree that Saturday night’s Oval race was much more entertaining to watch compared with past Oval races… Yet, you know something is WRONG with yourself when you: A) Get excited over an Oval race, and B) spend the last 20 laps of said Oval race chanting EDDIE-EDDIE-EDDIE!!! SHEISA!!!

Thus I found it most hilarious to find myself rooting for Edward "F BOMBs R US" Carpentier and Tony G's Vision Racing Team... SHEISA-SHEISA-SHEISA!!!

Yet I really wanted to see Edwardo win, which would have been the most Psychedelic result for the Indy Racing League...

Now all I wanna know is did somebody slip George a “Mickey” or what? As perhaps somebody shoulda slipped him a Frank's energy Drink before he did his big runner-up Team Boss interview... I mean have you ever seen T George smile? Yeah, I know, we'll have to wait for him to post his reaction on his Team's website, eh?

And what's with all of the smoochie-pooh... Who's paying' who? As that was a riveting post race SUCK UP with Brian "Braveheart," Err Barnhart... Whale Brian, do you think all of the new rules changes worked tonight?

Meanwhile, once again nary a peep was made about the other two women in the field: Sarah Fisher and Milka Duno… That’s right Milka-licious is back and I believe she finished ahead of her two Dreyer & Reinbold Racing teammates? (Conway & Scheckter; actually Conway was D “N R’s top Banana).

Yet, Sarah did get a momentary shout out and finished a respectable 12th with the most entertaining moment being when then race leader Will Power had to be told to move up one more pit stall as what were the odds that he’d be placed directly ahead of an almost identical yellow & black liveried Sarah Fisher Racing team’s pit box?

And speaking of Sarah, here’s a pic from Mr. CARPETS of a local Indiana “Dive” called O’Gara’s Irish Pub in Downtown Beech Grove (small town in Marion County).

Dave O’Brien:The O'Gara's are one of the nicest families you would ever meet. John O'Gara, a.k.a. "Johnny O" was a long time chief mechanic for Menards in the IRL. (Possibly on Tony Stewart's IRL Championship winning car?). He is currently team manager for Sarah Fisher Racing. Sarah is his daughter in law. She married his son Andy who she once ran over in the pits.

O'Gara's is pretty much a "regulars" place. People and staff are very friendly. Anyone who visits Indy and stays on the Southside would enjoy themselves visiting there. Plenty of racing "stuff' on the walls along with plenty of Irish green…

And I’m guessing the Bus trip from O’Gara’s to Kentucky would be a real Hoot! Thanks Dave…

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Edmonton Schnoozer

Whale I have to say in a slightly weird sorta twisted way… It’s been nice not having tuned into any Indy Car races for the past month, especially after sitting down to watch my very first ever Versus Qualifying show last weekend, since I was still awaiting the return of my Confuzer.

As GASP! Ah SHEISA! Here we go again on the Danicker Channel, as the very first advertisement outta the gate during the first commercial break was good ‘Ol Dan-Dan-Danicker who’s apparently still Peaking… Or shouldn’t that be peeking for another most heralded victory… As Princesses advert was followed by the first of many Apex Brasilia spots, followed by Danica being MAD! Whale perhaps she should be MAD seeing how that ‘lil Ol Sucar beat Company’s commercials trumped Danica 4-3 by my unofficial count during the 1hr program…

And then of course they tried oozing every last drop of controversy outta Mr. Chrome Horn and Hulio’s accidental “LUV-tapping” at Toronto. But Hey! You can never outdo PT vs. TAG in Sand Diego, or the Tracy ‘N Bourdais antics Up North, Eh?

Oh “Lyndie-Lyndie Car,” you’re so cute asking Hulio how it felt getting BOOED for the very first time in his career… (Quick! Where’s the MUTE button as Dancin’ FOOL’s silly mug fills the entire Telescreen!) Uhm, put a sock in it Twinkle-toes.

And then shockingly, Justin “BIG UNIT” Wilson failed to move onto second round Qualifying; HELL! It was the very first time this season that Justin didn’t make the Fast Six on a Road/Street course, which apparently was later traced down to an errant rear wing slipping out of its perceived setting… Hmm? Perhaps this type of preparation is what makes the difference between the Penske’s and TCGR’s and the rest of the grid, eh?

Oh NO! Meesh’s boy didn’t make it into Fast Six qualifying, after having burned up both sets of Red “Option” tyre’s in order to make it thru second round Qualie session… But in the end Will Power simply kicked ARSE! As that ‘Ol Sesame Street song came to mind; “Which one of these DOESN’T look like the others.” As there count-em; three Penske’s, two Ganassi’s and Graham Rahal, the lone NON red ‘N white car in final Qualifying. Whale Ok, Power’s Pole winning car was in a very fetching Penske yellow…

But way to go Will Power; Good for you, Mate! As it was nice to see him finally win again, after having the good fortune to have briefly met him in Indianapolis… And his interview with Robin Miller was even more entertaining.

Miller: Tell us what you asked the team over the radio.
Power: (Sheepishly) I had about an 8 second lead and I wasn’t even pushing, so I asked; Do you want me to push now? Yeah, go ahead…

IndyCar tweaks Race cars

In an effort to improve the show, as a vast majority of the IRL Bloggers have repeatedly commented towards how BORING the past several OVAL races have been… With both TCGR Drivers Scott & Dario becoming constant apologists in victory lane, the league has introduced a following raft of rules changes to be instituted at Kentucky for the remainder of the season.

Various “Aero” bits will be re-introduced; sidepod extensions, tire ramps and rear-wheel backers will be allowed, with teams given the flexibility of using any or all three of these Aerodynamic aids, which Indy Car Claims should provide up to an extra 300lbs of Downforce, along with the mandatory removal of the rear wickerville.

On the engine side, Honda will introduce another Champ Car innovation, *couldn’t resist throwin’ that Champ Car quip in; OOPS!) with the addition of “P2P,” better known as Push-to-Pass; as the Honda “Lumps” will now give an additional 5-20bhp in 12 second spurts, with a 10 second mandatory interval between each of the up to 20 spurts, with a maximum of 10,500RPM’s available for 240 seconds each contest, as the horsepower range will depend upon the current fuel mixture setting being utilized at the time of the Driver’s hitting the “Boost” button, P2P button, Err Excuse me, my mistake its now known as Press to Pass, as we don’t wanna use NO STINKIN’ CHAMP CAR TERMINOLOGY!

Open Wheel blunder

It’s TOO HOT to write Stories, Whaa… As I was gonna post a really funny Cat story for Danny B, as may be the heat’s getting to Mwah? Meow, Meow...

And I cannot say a whole lotta good on you… As they did NOT even bother to publish an Edmonton IRL race report this week. (Monday-Tuesday) Yet Monday’s Online version held a total of 21 stories in its vaunted Sports section; but out of these, eleven were solely devoted to the FRILLIN’ RASSCAR event known as the Brickyard 400… Or in Juan Pablo Montoya’s view the “Honest Officer, I wasn’t FUCKING Speeding Brickyard 386!” As you’ll wanna check out Robin Miller’s HILLARIOUS RANT on the JMV Show; The Drive, on AM1260 WNDE last Monday; July 27th; click on the podcast titled:

JMV & Mr. Conspiracy

A further one story was devoted to former Head Honcho T. George and his whimpering sarcasm posted upon his Vision Racing Team’s website… As in why did you kick me outta the office Mama?

Ahem; Earth to Tony, I’d stick to focusing upon pulling your Indy Racing League team outta the gutter… I mean HELL! Even Milka Duno’s team is doing better then Uze Guys… As Vision seems to be locked in a fierce Manu e Manu duel with AJ Foyt Enterprises for laughing stock of the IRL, eh?

But Hey! I’m sure the IndyStar and OWR Soothsayer Kurt Cavin will be all over the scene this weekend at Kentucky, now that ‘duh RASSCAR festiva Is behinds us; Yee-Haw! Hopefully along with ‘dem Kentucky weepers, eh?